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My social skills don't seem to improve, no matter how much I try. I also despise my appearance. I can look in the mirror and I just feel sick to my stomach. It will no doubt be coupled with other problems; never had a relationship, struggle to talk to the opposite sex, online dating never worked,etc. I guess it is a complete fear of loneliness and that I am not really a good person. I am constantly under the belief that there is something wrong with me. I come off as too needy or completely aloof. Pretty much, I suck as a human being.
 

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My social skills, my crooked teeth, my acne, my body weight and belly, my lips, sometimes my nose, my artistic ability, my inability to say hello to anyone without freezing up, lack of confidence and self-esteem, inferiority complex, indecisiveness, having no social relationships with anyone who is not family, messing up my words when speaking to someone, receiving criticism of any kind, etc.
 

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Wow.Seems like a lot of INFPs have inferiority complexes..Do any of you guys have that judging defense mechanism? The one where you find everything wrong with other people (to subcounsciously make yourself feel better).. I hate that part..It makes me feel like I'm narcissistic and judgemental.
 

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Ayatollah of Coca-Cola
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I'm plagued by most of the insecurities associated with social anxiety disorder.

Some people say it feels like having thin or no skin. To me I'd say it feels more like having no teeth.
 

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I am quick to say or think that I'm dumb because of making very minor mistakes. Saying it so many times can only be convincing me that it's true. :\

My major insecurity is thinking that my entire life is a failure and that there are a million things I've done wrong. I lapse into that completely unhelpful comparison mode: well, so-and-so has done this and that by my age, and I'm not even close, etc. I can never measure up to that awesome person in my head that I'm supposed to be already.
 

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My friends. Growing up a large portion of my life without them, now I always think they will decide to leave me one day. Also, living in someone else's shadow, this is because I am a twin, and only people with twins (or perhaps siblings that were subject to favouritism). She was always the better twin, everyone liked her better and only talked to her. The only person that liked me better was my twin herself. But I loved her and focused solely on protecting her. These are a few of my numerous insecurities but since everyone has them I like to view them as something that makes people stronger.
 

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theres a part of my face that im scared is holding me back in life, i want to have it fixed.
weirdly enough sometimes it looks ok.

i saw this article about a woman who was mauled by a chimpanzee. doctors had to create an entirely new face out of her old head because the chimp smashed her face in.

makes us feel grateful for what we have..that is the essence of happiness basically.
 

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My social skills, ability to be well-liked, and ability to make friends. I am pretty shy and possibly had a mild form of Asperger's as a kid, and I have always had difficulty making friends and finding people who "get" me. I do have a group of lasting friends from high school, but most of them went to the same college and I went to one 200 miles away, and now that I've graduated almost everyone is moving away for grad school. Being in two serious long-term relationships, the second one still going on today, has helped me a lot with my self-esteem about getting people to like me, but I still worry that I will never have a group of close female friends again.

My insecurities about how people view me are also making my job search very hard. When I don't hear back from a job I sent my resume to, I see it as a personal rejection and blame myself for not making myself likable enough in my resume and cover letter, and for not tailoring my work experience to be what people wanted to see (I'm changing industries from what I studied in college and have no experience in the field I'm going into). It has really lowered my self-esteem even more than it already was, since I have always seen my academic and professional achievements as my only redeeming qualities.

My writing ability. No matter how many people tell me that they think I'm an awesome writer, no matter how many A's I got on writing assignments in school, even after my creative writing professor, who hated me as a person, told me I should get my short story published...I still don't believe them. Because of that one time in 11th grade where my poem got rejected from my high school literary magazine and was the only piece rejected the entire year up to that point.

Actually I'm insecure about my ability to do a lot of things because I am bad at so many things. Math, visual arts, singing, dancing, playing musical instruments, every sport except long-distance running and racewalk (I was a champion racewalker in high school, believe it or not). Since I have 1w9 in my tritype, I will not allow myself to do something unless I know I can be really good at it.
 

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Social skills definitely (I wish very often I could just explain things to people on paper because I am the worst with saying verbally what I mean). This is even worse with presentations of any kind, god.
While I am always busy doing a lot of artistic things such as drawing, painting, writing, etc, I still never cease to be too shy and withdrawn to show any of it to anyone because of always comparing myself and never fully liking anything I've made because ''I can always do so much better.'' Endless circle.
I also seem to quickly think that people find me boring often because of unshared interests or how I am not always into their conversations and thus seem to escape into my own things. Which may come off to them as ''rude'' I suppose.

I feel like this is only part of a first chapter.
 

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I do tend to have this sort of weird handicap of somehow shutting things out of my field of vision when it's precisely that which I'm looking for. troubling.

I have plenty of insecurities. Mostly about not being truly good in the things I've always been told I was better at. Maybe they said 'good' but I realize now it was only relative. Better = meaning not as bad as the stuff I was bad at. I feel sometimes like I've been misled on my true talents.

Who knows what a child is capable of if you inculcate a root confidence that allows him/her to feel she could excel in any area.
 

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I feel that my writing will never be good enough. I know that I'm a good writer. I know that I've improved during the past few years and I've produced some good stuff that people liked. Though I know that I'm talented, I never feel like I'll be a good enough writer for lots of people to enjoy my writing or to make them feel and think about things.

I wonder if I'll ever be in a long-term relationship. I often relish being single, but the few attempts I've made have been disasters, so now I just don't bother trying. I love my space and free time, but part of me longs for that connection.
 

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My fear of authority has crippled me my whole life. I've been having a really hard time at work... again... This morning I finally put the pieces together and realized where it comes from.

I was nine. My mother dropped my 7 year old brother and me off at the junior high school for a sporting event of some kind. Maybe it was the Harlem Globetrotters. The crowd was huge. I had never been in a crowd like that before. Our mother had a bunch of other kids at home so she agreed to pick us up at an appointed time. During the game I lost my brother. Couldn't find him anywhere. I was responsible for him and I had lost him. I began to panic. When the time came for Mom to pick us up I still had not found him. I went outside and found her waiting with the car running. I was very agitated as I told her I had lost my brother. She remained calm and told me to go ask the police officer. I did as she told me and the police officer unleashed a torrent of verbal abuse on me while refusing to help me find my brother. I thought he was supposed to help and protect us. I couldn't understand why he was being so mean. I started to cry and ran back to the car, inconsolable at having lost my brother and bewildered at the police officer's response to my request for help. I feared the worst--that he had been kidnapped, or maybe he was dead. My mother got out of the car and went to talk to the officer while I waited in the car. She returned with my brother. I was so ashamed at having failed to protect him and deeply hurt by the officer's treatment of me. My brother had been playing with some other kids and never knew what I had gone through and I'm sure he doesn't remember a thing about it. For years I had recurring nightmares about being at a zoo or a circus and watching him get too close to the lion's cage so that the lion just reached through the bars, snatched him and I watched him get eaten by the lion, powerless to protect him.

There was more. Maybe a year earlier I had been beaten severely by another boy in front of my whole class and the teacher did nothing to stop it. He beat me to the ground and kicked me in the stomach until I couldn't breathe because I had invited another kid who apparently had the wrong color skin to my birthday party. The teacher just stood there like all the other students watching. Nobody helped me and he kicked me until he finally got tired and stopped. A couple of years later I was beaten by a teacher in the same school who broke my nose because I was staring out the window daydreaming.

I loved my parents and have never asked why they did not protect me from these people but rather insisted that I go back and forget it all had happened when all I wanted to do was transfer to another school. I don't blame them, but I was deeply hurt by their inattention to my problems. I couldn't understand why they didn't support me. They were busy with all my younger siblings and expected me, as the oldest, to be more self sufficient. They didn't have time for me.

When I moved on to junior high school, in the same building where I had lost my brother, I was beaten every day by bullies. The school had bars on the windows and rather than lockers lining the halls, locker rooms with a single entrance at the corners of the building. I took to carrying all my books with me all day long to avoid going into those rooms. There were gangs, so I joined the black gang because the small black community was the only place I felt safe. I tried to be strong and suppress these memories so I could be like everybody else. But I suppose now that I never healed from these traumas. I was very small and had no aggression in me to use to fight back. I was bookish. I played violin. I sucked at sports. Later in high school, I grew to be big and athletic, but in my mind and in my heart, I was and always have been small. I shrink my height with bad posture. I flinch at loud voices. I avoid conflict at all costs. I am six feet tall but I always feel I am the smallest person in the room. I cry and fall to pieces at the slightest criticism.

Now I think I understand why I am terrified of authority and why I am unable to deal in any positive way with people who have power over me. But I don't know how or even if I want to fix it.
 

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But I don't know how or even if I want to fix it.
on a good day, i'd be all sugar and say you don't have to fix it because now you know how to be a better parent or just better plain human being - since you remember the shit you do and say has consequences stretching deep and far into the future.

but on a shit day you can't help resenting the fact that most parents, our parents, everyone's parents are ill-prepared for the burden and responsibility. they never even knew they had one beyond clothing and feeding you. my learned helplessness and sheer terror and inability to effectively deal with judgment and all the connected traits/habits I have to unlearn took hold a long time ago. Now it's my problem if I let it ruin my life. And i can't get away with blaming anyone for how it turns out. yet, it is supremely difficult to reverse the effects deeply ingrained in your psyche from years of reinforcing the wrong lessons about who you are, who you will never be. it's also one of the reasons why i am sure i don't want kids.
 

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Not being sure of who I am. For example, "Am i an infp? what if im actually nt or sf? does it even matter? what if it does?" it can be very frustrating. Messes with your self perception. a wavering identity kind of like..
 

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I fail at drawing/sketching/painting even though I always have really interesting ideas, but I can't show anyone because of that.
I'm not very pretty, I blend in. All of my friends get better grades than me. I'm lazy. I procrastinate way too much. I'm annoying. Barely anybody knows what I'm actually like. One of my friends who knew about mbti said they thought I was ExFP. Every single ST I know thinks I'm stupid. I never show how I really feel. Just the other day I was smiling and laughing with my friend when inside I was completely falling apart. I lie too much.
 

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I know it's not really a character insecurity but I really don't like my nose. I posted a pic somewhere once and got some nasty feedback on it and already knew something was wrong with it anyway. Considering a nose job to make it look straight instead of crooked, it looks like i've been punched sideways and it hasn't returned back to normal only it's always been wonky. I used to hate the shape of my eyes and for a long time thought of myself as quite ugly only to realize now I ain't so bad. But I wish my nose wasn't as bad.
 
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