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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
So what is more like you? To enjoy the good stuff right now or to hold off for the perfect opportunity?

There are a lot of different situations one might apply this to, and it might not always be the same for you, but just think overall.

I tend to be more someone to wait and strategize for the perfect moment.

Examples from my life would be like my mother-in-law who I really love mentioned that she'd like to try and come visit at the end of this month, but she would only have time for a quick three day visit. As much as I'd love to see her, I told her I felt she ought to save her money for the flight for a time when she could spend a week instead of a weekend.

I've really been in the mood to watch this one movie with my husband, but he's been very busy lately and tired a lot. Instead of just putting it on after dinner because I really want to watch this, knowing that he's going to fall asleep on me, I've been putting off watching it for a week because I want to watch it with him, when he's awake, because that is the ideal.

When shopping I tend to stop and think about whatever it is that I want to buy most of all, and will hold of on other things that I want to buy right now in order to make the grander thing possible. It's not just with really big things though, it's all the time. I'm always thinking about what I want most and comparring it to what I can get now, and then forgoeing the 'now'.

I do this a lot with special treats like chocoalte bars or ice-cream. I won't just eat it in the first couple of days. I won't just snack on them if I'm hungry and don't want to cook, because I want to savor them in a perfect moment. I wait for the right circumstances, the right mood, the right moment to converge, and then I'll break out the sweets and thoroughly enjoy it.

I tend to be this way with interactions with people as well. I want to give them my full attention, and I want to say things in the right way at the right time for the maximum best reaction or reception from others. I'll keep quiet about something I'm excited about if I sense someone else isn't in the mood to get really excited with me. I'll tell them a week later when they're in an energetic mood, all the while itching to say it.

I don't want to let myself waste things I'm going to enjoy on not the perfect moment. I want to wait to create the perfect moment. I find myself strategzing on how and when would be best to enjoy what.

So does this sound like you INFPs? Or do you tend to go more often for the good thing in the present moment and not worry too much about saving something for later?
 

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Sometimes I do wait until the perfect moment or plan to make one. Usually, I always think of this moment as the perfect one. I don't always think ahead, I just act in that moment. After all, you never know when the next time you'll talk to this person will be or when you'll see them again.
 

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I think discipline and waiting is not one of my strong suits. Using a food and plate analogy -- I will eat my favorites on the plate first, in case I get too full too quickly.

I also am a Pro @ traveling 400 circles around the mulberry bush to delay and linger, so that I don't have to do something I don't want to do. :blushed:
 

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Unfortunately, I always seem to wait for the perfect opportunity for all of the important things in life, and instantly gratify myself with everything else. The fact that I'm sitting at my computer typing this message is a perfect example actually. I should be striving for countless other things, but the internet has it's oh so tempting well of useless information imbedded in my soul like a tick.

Slowly but surely, I'm becoming what I've always hated. I can feel it...



:frustrating:
 

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I am definitely of the "work now, play later" attitude, overall, and relate to the OP. I'm always planning better moments for the future. The thing is, sometimes I put off those little moments so much that I lose my window of opportunity. To follow @Sily;'s plate analogy, I would most likely eat the things on my plate in order of those I liked least to those I liked most. If I got full before I finished, I'd wrap up the leftovers, but who knows if I'd actually get around to eating them before they went bad? I'd keep putting it off because I'd like having something to look forward to.

But... I'm having a hard time answering the question...! I can be selectively impulsive. I think the thing is that I have the tendency to act as I'm thinking (rather than after I've thought about something) when I've been caught off-guard. With a little time to prepare myself, I do become very strictly self-disciplined. My guess is that I'm impulsive and seek instant gratification by nature but that I was raised to be very self-controlled, and, so, that is a tendency I've developed.

Then again, I've heard that perceivers are supposedly impulsive/avoidant/procrastinators because we seek that which makes us feel good in the moment. I find that the opposite is true for me but for the same reason. I seek pleasure in that I get rid of all of the unpleasant things as quickly as possible (I complete tasks earlier than I am required to and generally try to stay ahead) and then put a lot of energy into looking forward to things I save for future enjoyment. (Hint of idealism?)
 

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Funny, I never thought of this till now but yeah, I tend to wait for the perfect moment for a lot of things. If I want to enjoy something I will wait till I can really enjoy it. Which to me apparently means that all other conditions need to be perfect. I can't think of many good examples right now, but When eating I will often wait until I have gotten comfortable and I "feel" like I can enjoy my food otherwise I get anxious and frustrated and if I can't find a way to fix that i generally zone out
 

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This is on and off for me, probably because i'm a man. Like you said when i'm at the store, and I have money i'll walk up and down the aisle 5 times just considering all my options. Since i'm there to get something, if i can't make up my mind, i let my feelings do the work, and end up buying everything color coordinated lol... When it comes to interacting with people, or at least people i like, i can't bring myself to wait for the perfect moment. Mostly because there's not enough leisure time in most social activities i do for a perfect moment to happen. So I just speak whats on my mind some of the times.

I used to always consider stuff like that, but a friend i had sort of threw me off that path with his impulse buys. Hmm, i like the idealism perhaps i'll wait to get headphones when i have enough for a really nice set!
 

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For me, tea is one of those things for which I have a wellspring of patience and can easily resist my urge for instant gratification. Tea must be drank in a quiet environment. I cannot drink tea when there is much noise, it dilutes the flavor of the moment. Solitude is preferable as it is conducive to creating an atmosphere of contemplation, but conversation with a few close companions is welcome.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
For me, tea is one of those things for which I have a wellspring of patience and can easily resist my urge for instant gratification. Tea must be drank in a quiet environment. I cannot drink tea when there is much noise, it dilutes the flavor of the moment. Solitude is preferable as it is conducive to creating an atmosphere of contemplation, but conversation with a few close companions is welcome.
I am alll for savoring tea :) ...although it's become my 'staple' It's hard to find me without a mug of it in my hand. I certainly does help create an atmosphere of contemplation and conversation.

i like the idealism perhaps i'll wait to get headphones when i have enough for a really nice set!
it does seem to be idealism at work. While on the one hand saving and planning for the future seems more j-like.....it also seems a little more p-like in that it's keeping the options open for a better possibility to arrive.

Funny, I never thought of this till now but yeah I tend to wait for the perfect moment for a lot of things. If I want to enjoy something I will wait till I can really enjoy it. Which to me apparently means that all other conditions need to be perfect. I can't think of many good examples right now, but with food i will often wait to eat until I have gotten comfortable and I "feel" like I can enjoy my food otherwise I get anxious and frustrated.
yeah, I really dislike eating (or talking, or doing things) when I'm distracted by something else or not comfortable because then I'm not actually enjoying it. I'll take an extra minute or two to fix things up just perfect in the environment, or I'll wait till I can get the perfect thing to accompany something.

I am definitely of the "work now, play later" attitude, overall, and relate to the OP. I'm always planning better moments for the future. The thing is, sometimes I put off those little moments so much that I lose my window of opportunity.
yep, this can be a problem for me. Treats go stale or get eaten up by other people who think I didn't want it, I end up not going anywhere on vacation because I was holding out for the ideal opportunity that won't happen till after I'm nolonger interested in going there, stuff like that, I never get an item I'm looking for because I never find the perfect thing and end up spending the money here and there on other stuff that comes up. Sometimes waiting pays off, and sometimes it doesn't. I actually thought of posting this because I've been growing a bit resentfull that somehow all the special food items I get for myself end up being eaten by other people (just because they had the munchies) before I ever get to it. Heh, sometimes it just Kills me to watch people scarf something down because they're starving, then eat something else that clashes with it....and yeah....it ought to be savored right? lol Sometimes I wonder though if perhaps I'd get more chocolate bars (or wahtever) in the long run if I did just eat it now...would another somehow turn up later at the 'perfect' time? I'm not talking in a magical way, but just.....sort of the idea that perhaps saving doesn't attract more, while 'spending' might? Not really sure about that. I certainly grew up in a home where 'waste not, want not' was the motto.

Anyways, in a similar way to the food, I wince inside when someone else has a story to share and they blurt it out right away at a time when everyone is distracted and so no one really hears it and the person gets disappointed. sigh....

To follow @Sily;'s plate analogy, I would most likely eat the things on my plate in order of those I liked least to those I liked most. If I got full before I finished, I'd wrap up the leftovers, but who knows if I'd actually get around to eating them before they went bad? I'd keep putting it off because I'd like having something to look forward to.
For me this depends. If I have a feeling I'm going to fill up fast I'll just eat my favorites and forget the rest, but otherwise I always eat them in the order of least-to-most favorite. I'm not always that way with other things though, like getting chores done first, even though I notice that it always does feel more enjoyable when I do.

My guess is that I'm impulsive and seek instant gratification by nature but that I was raised to be very self-controlled, and, so, that is a tendency I've developed.
This could be the case with me as well.

Then again, I've heard that perceivers are supposedly impulsive/avoidant/procrastinators because we seek that which makes us feel good in the moment. I find that the opposite is true for me but for the same reason. I seek pleasure in that I get rid of all of the unpleasant things as quickly as possible (I complete tasks earlier than I am required to and generally try to stay ahead) and then put a lot of energy into looking forward to things I save for future enjoyment. (Hint of idealism?)
I definately think it sounds like idealism. Perhaps the descriptions/theories don't have all the quirks of how this works fleshed out. I also wonder if this can be in part from the inner Judging function vs. the outer Perceiving function. Perhaps we can be more J with things that are more personal, and more P when it comes to dealing with other people? Just an idea.

I'd say the reasoning you gave here is similar to why I think I can be more confrontational than might be expected. I don't like the confrontation, but I hate the unspoken tension in the air even more! I want to get that tension cleared up as quickly as possible, even if it's gonna hurt more briefly, rather than the ongoing pain of a strained relationship.


I also am a Pro @ traveling 400 circles around the mulberry bush to delay and linger, so that I don't have to do something I don't want to do. :blushed:
lol, great way to say that! I can be like that sometimes too
 

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If I can have it now, I want it NOW! I dive in over my head on a regular basis, and I like it that way. On matters of love and personal experience, give me everything. I want sensory overload, but it doesn't exactly take a lot to achieve this, either. One good flirt or ordering something I've never eaten before can whims that lift my entire day.

On the other hand, matters of financial impact are almost never instant pleasure. It's not because I am naturally wired that way, I've been trained by both my father and by mistakes I've made to be more frugal than I'd like to be. Buying something unexpected can give me the same high as anything else, but I know I'm not good at tracking my funds dollar for dollar, so I deny myself a lot of things that would be fun, and I don't think of it much beyond that because I live mostly in the moment. I've only regretted a few non-purchases. There is so much free life out there to live!
 

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aelthwyn, I am exactly the same, but I take it to extremes sometimes. I "save" things for perfect moments in the future for so long I end up missing out on them completely, example, food treats that go off, creams and make up that go funny, clothes that don't fit /look good anymore...list is endless.

I think I sometimes enjoy looking forward to something more than the actual something and I also feel that once the treat is used, then I lose out on the "security" of having that to look forward to...
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
I think I sometimes enjoy looking forward to something more than the actual something and I also feel that once the treat is used, then I lose out on the "security" of having that to look forward to...
interesting you mention that. I can be the same way. This is why I don't mind "spoilers" for movies or books, and dislike supise parties. I love knowing the happy ending is coming, anticipating it in the midst of the conflict, rather than wondering whether it will come. Knowing what I'm getting for Christmas actually makes it more exciting because I can spend weeks of excited anticipation of getting this thing that I want. I don't mind waiting to actually open it, just knowing it's coming is fun for me. Same thing with parties. I'd enjoy my birthday a lot more if I had several weeks of anticipating a fun event with friends, rather than thinking nothing exciting was going to happen only to be surprised on the acutal day - that cuts short my period of enjoyment. I love the anticipation of good things yet to come.
 

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There are some things I want instantly, but most things I easily hold out for.

I tend to enjoy dragging things out, excruciatingly. I don't do it as much as I used to, before it was a bit obsessive for me. I have much less impulse control than before, but I'm summoning my discipline back.

I'm one of those people who likes to save the best thing on the plate until last, and then even then eating that is drawn out (sometimes not though, especially if i'm daydreaming/in my head). The things I most enjoy I like taking my time with. For example, I could easily read the book series I have in probably 3 days, but i've dragged it out for over a month. I know, I am sick!

I go between extreme discipline to being overcome by gluttony and instant gratification. I know I have -a lot- of patience for a lot of things though. More than most people. For me, regarding important things or things I enjoy, it doesn't matter about getting somewhere quick.
 

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Unfortunately, I always seem to wait for the perfect opportunity for all of the important things in life, and instantly gratify myself with everything else...Slowly but surely, I'm becoming what I've always hated. I can feel it... :frustrating:
Me too. This means we're just self-deluding pleasure-seekers. but then with the way life is, always ready to extinguish itself, i'd hate to think my last moment would be spent buckled over in routine,pointless work. There must be a pill for this condition.
 

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i used to be good at holding back when i was in high school/early college. now i give myself permission to gratify myself instantly when i REALLY feel tempted. why? because i realized that life is too short to always hold back. so when i feel like eating dark chocolate or buying a really cool bag that i know will be out of stock soon, i will do it. of course, i dont go overboard.
 

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I thought INFP's were more of the "play now, work later" type.

Self Discipline is one of my weak points, I want to strengthen my discipline but not enough to turn me into a robot.
 

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I'm definitely a hedonistic person and "play first then work". I can't imagine a life without pleasure and I'm all about the journey rather than destination type of person. If something is not fun I'm not likely doing it.
 

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Necro'd thread, woo!


Story of my life is waiting for the right person.
 

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I'm a perfectionist that needs instant gratification (including praise) which can make me very lazy because I'll feel as though that I shouldn't do something if I can't do it perfectly so said thing won't get done at all. As well I've been one to blow money on crazy shit because I think it'll make me happy for a little bit. Drug use is all about instant gratification over long-term anything ever, period, end of story and I had a good bit of that...but after quitting I'm kind of transitioning more into a balance between the two. Sometimes I feel like I have to reward myself for doing things, to placate that part of me that "needs" stuff.
 
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