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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
Your instinctual variant + stacking preference for romantic / platonic relations?
I'm sp/sx. Got at least 2 somewhat close peeps who said they sx/sp. Another one was so/sx. Honestly don't mind with friendships.

Romantically however, I'd put so first people down my list more - the ones I know seem to be overly bothered with social situations / social acceptability. They may want to drag me out to big groups, or expect me to pay attention to what everyone's saying, instead of focusing on a 1 or 2. Also, my interest in gossip is usually a bit lacking in comparison.
By the way, how well do you relate to this article? :wink:
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Flow of Instinctual Energies & Compatibility

When we invest our energy, most of it is devoted to fulfillment of our primary instinct. The remaining energy radiates or flows onto the secondary instinct and finally - onto the last instinct, which receives the smallest share. There are two possible configurations or directions for this flow. In first configuration, energy is invested in the order of sx→sp→so→sx. This direction gives rise to three stackings: sx/sp, sp/so, so/sx. In the second configuration, energy is invested in the order of sx→so→sp→sx, which gives rise to the other three stackings: sx/so, so/sp and sp/sx.

Syn-flow: sp→so→sx→sp
Stackings involved: sp/so→so/sx→>sx/sp→sp/so
Direction: Compelled toward people. Acting upon and with others as a born insider i.e.- deeply human.

Contra-flow: sp→sx→so→sp
Stackings involved: sp/sx→sx/so→so/sp→sp/sx
Direction: Compelled against people. Seething belligerent outsiders; 'antisocial', provoking, reverse-flow change catalysts. In some profound sense, rejecting the human condition, their own and/or that of others.

The two flows move in the opposite directions. This antithesis can be seen if the instinctual stackings are compared in pairs:

so/sx - including, associating, affiliating, networking, incorporating, interconnecting, introducing, unifying, linking, bonding, annexing, cooperating, receiving
sx/so - excluding, eliminating, dividing, separating, contradicting, subverting, confronting, rebuffing, challenging, interrupting, reforming, rupturing

sx/sp - intensifying, escalating, rising, surging, enlivening, invigorating, accelerating, stimulating, energizing, vitalizing, reviving, animating, inspiriting
sp/sx - dulling, calming, quieting, grounding, descending, lowering, dampening, numbing, desensitizing, exhausting, deadening, extinguishing, making still

sp/so - conserving, protecting, maintaining, preserving, supplying, repairing, sustaining, stewarding
so/sp - utilizing, employing, implementing, expending, exercising, spending, capitalizing, expropriating


It is speculated that people with stackings that are part of same flow progression generally have more understanding and smoother interaction, since they are channeling their energies in the same manner. Interactions of stackings that are part of the same flow have the potential to cover for one's blindspot instinct as well as reinforce one's own instinctual energy flow. For example: if one person's stacking is sx/sp, this person is directing energy in the following manner sx->sp->so, in which case another person with sp/so stacking will be reinforcing to their weaker secondary sp->so link and covering for their SO-last blind spot. On the other hand interactions with people who are channeling their energies in the opposite direction can feel dull, draining and disorienting.
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"On the other hand interactions with people who are channeling their energies in the opposite direction can feel dull, draining and disorienting." - Nope. Never had a problem with sp/so or sx/sp. Might just be me though.
 

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Ace of Spades
7w6 4w3 1w9 sp/so; Ni/Ne/Te-dom
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That article was actually really useful! You should post it in a separate thread or take out the spoiler tags =)

In my experience with relationships, I think what matters more is where the Sx instinct is located. I can imagine an Sx-first and Sx-last having some problems with levels of intimacy, though at the end of the day it depends on the individuals.

Furthermore, people generally misunderstand the So instinct and mistype as Sp/Sx or Sx/Sp.
 

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Discussion Starter #3
Furthermore, people generally misunderstand the So instinct and mistype as Sp/Sx or Sx/Sp.
What do they tend to misinterpret then?
 

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Ace of Spades
7w6 4w3 1w9 sp/so; Ni/Ne/Te-dom
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What do they tend to misinterpret then?
Well, people often associate So with sociability/being social and assume it's incompatible with introversion for example.

The main thing is, one can't separate the stacking from the core type. "Compliant" types will seem more So, "aggressive" types more Sx, and "withdrawn" types more Sp. Each subtype however, has a distinct flavour which one should determine together with their core type, and not from the separate descriptions. Here are some good examples from this site:

Self-pres
Sexual
Social

Anyway, I don't mean to derail! The ideas you've posted are interesting. I'd have to think about the types and stackings of my past partners to really be able to make a comparison.
 

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I'm an sx/so married to a so/sx and I could see how we have a tendency to approach things in contradictory ways like that. He's a team player, I want to shake things up (although I'm an introvert so it's not like I'm out there in the middle of everything being totally crazy about it). I like that dynamic between us, though. It keeps it interesting and we learn a lot from each other because of our different points of view.

My social within me does NOT mean I am inclined to social chit chat and like gossip. I hate being in big groups and I don't perceive myself as a 'social' person. However, I pay attention to what's going on in the world, I see how my actions affect others/ I'm very aware of others' reactions to me, I can be fairly socially skilled/charming when I want to be, and I do like to feel like I'm doing something with some sort of impact. I am not an island. That's why the social is second. As @Spades says, many people misunderstand social.
 

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I'm Sx/So, so contra-flow. I don't think I've ever been in a romantic relationship with So/Sp (and I'm not especially thrilled about the idea); Sp/Sx feels way too unwilling to merge, and frankly, Sp talk bores me to death. I can't relate to syn-flow being draining - I like So/Sx and Sx/Sp people.

My social within me does NOT mean I am inclined to social chit chat and like gossip. I hate being in big groups and I don't perceive myself as a 'social' person. However, I pay attention to what's going on in the world, I see how my actions affect others/ I'm very aware of others' reactions to me, I can be fairly socially skilled/charming when I want to be, and I do like to feel like I'm doing something with some sort of impact. I am not an island. That's why the social is second. As @Spades says, many people misunderstand social.
I can relate very much. Even though I'm So-second, I'm not a social person. I can come across as extroverted for brief periods of time, but I need my privacy.

As for romantic relationships, those with fellow Sx-doms are FAR more fulfilling. Being with someone who is also Sx/So can't be compared to anything else... at least this is how I feel. Sure, sharing the Sp blind spot (and MBTI type) makes us both hopelessly impractical sometimes, but I think that instinctual stacking is a very important part of compatibility (more important than Enneagram types, or MBTI/Socionics/JCF).
 

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sx/sp - intensifying, escalating, rising, surging, enlivening, invigorating, accelerating, stimulating, energizing, vitalizing, reviving, animating, inspiriting

sx/so - excluding, eliminating, dividing, separating, contradicting, subverting, confronting, rebuffing, challenging, interrupting, reforming, rupturing

I'm a little bit of both.. LOL seems like I'm always gonna have this problem with Sx/So and Sx/Sp descriptions. :mellow:
 

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My social within me does NOT mean I am inclined to social chit chat and like gossip. I hate being in big groups and I don't perceive myself as a 'social' person. However, I pay attention to what's going on in the world, I see how my actions affect others/ I'm very aware of others' reactions to me, I can be fairly socially skilled/charming when I want to be, and I do like to feel like I'm doing something with some sort of impact. I am not an island.
Same here! (as usual, lol) I do feel like an island much of the time but maybe that's a core Five thing.

I'm a little bit of both.. LOL seems like I'm always gonna have this problem with Sx/So and Sx/Sp descriptions. :mellow:
I'd probably be sp/sx in this particular analysis: sp/sx - dulling, calming, quieting, grounding, descending, lowering, dampening, numbing, desensitizing, exhausting, deadening, extinguishing, making still

I think I "vibe" like an sp/sx type. The parts I have bolded seem to fit. The terms are so vague, though, I'm not really sure what they are trying to get at. The contra-flow description fits me more than the syn-flow, in any case.
 

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I think I'd have a lot of trouble being with a guy who's sx-last; I can see that being a source of conflict. I usually get attracted to guys who are sx like me anyway. There's a kind of energy... I can sometimes see a guy who's attractive to me and know that our energy clicks just by looking at him. It proves to be true when he starts talking to me and I feel an intense "connection" right away. Sounds creepy on my part but what can ya do?
 

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I am So/Sp, and I've read on a couple places on the internet that you should stick to your IV stack or just flip the first and second. And I don't know if I agree personally. I like the idea of someone covering your blindspots. But I also know that Sx/Sp for me is like crack to me. Sx intensity doesn't scare me away, it's actually the only thing that can really break through my shell and really reach me. Mostly because I cannot do this myself, I cannot reach that level of intimacy if it's left up to me right away. It would take a much longer time for me, but I dream of the moments where I could experience that unfiltered connection and intimacy with someone and when I do it feels like the real deal to me. Sx feels like the real deal to me. I am So and with other Sos I see the game we all play when it comes to deeper connection "I'm cooler than you in this crowd so you have to come and talk to me, even though I am secretly interested in you...please....please come and talk to me.....if I come up and talk to you I will look bad and desperate.) Sx and So last doesn't care about all that. They might bypass an entire crowd to come up and only talk to just you, I LOVE.LOVE.LOVE that. It's like the best way to make someone like me feel appreciated and I get a deep sense of feeling loved when someone does that. I have read on many places on the internet where Sx people love sx mostly and everybody hates So lol especially So with sx blind. Idk, I want an Sx too damnit! Preferably Sx/sp, I have enough So for two people lol. I also do notice So last can have a hard time maintaining a group of friends and I guess So can help out with that.

I also feel like with Sx blind that sometimes it feels like I might go my whole life without ever having that unfiltered deep connection where someone sees all of me. And that is scary, I actually think I need Sx more than I would like to admit.(<<<<That was hard to write.)
 

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To be honest I've always had difficulty relating to the contra/syn flow descriptions. Regardless of how they're phrased, I can't seem to relate to their descriptions at all. Regardless, I'm probably sp/so, and at the very least I'm beyond sx blind.

When it comes to friendships, I have no preference, though a lot of my closer friends are either sp dom or sp blind. One of my best friends is an 8w9 (or 1w9...) sp/sx, another a 6w7 sp/so, and finally I have the so/sx. There's really no preference when it comes to contra/syn flow either.

Romantic wise... I don't know if IV would make that much of a difference for me, though I'd probably do best with another sp dom.
 

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Sp/So - So/Sp - SO - SP etc, descriptions are underwhelming as usual - author is likely/obv an (Sx).
 

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The social instinct is the most difficult to self identify if you are negatively identified with it.

Most recent free test here:This is great work!

Thank you you very much for your appreciation of my work. Because of people like you that have been willing to share your deeper, more internal processes, I have learned great deal about the inner workings of the 27 Tritypes. The best way to confirm your Tritype is in a session. One thing I have learned over the years is that there are many factors that constitute and indicate one's potential type and Tritype. I have found that it requires deeper inquiry that we can usually do alone. The super ego has a vested interest in being or not being a particular type. Without deeper inquiry that is done in a way that gets around the super ego, it is guess work even if it is highly educated guess work.

The type and Tritype interventions will not work until you have the accurate lead type and Tritype...along with your lead instinctual type and stacking. Unfortunately, writing about your potential type and tritype is not in the free flow of real time so has several limitations. Remember that we have cultivated thoughts and beliefs over time. We need to get at what has been true most of your life, most of the time...no who you could be, should be or have become.

Real time inquiry based on what is said in the moment with immediate inquiry and response is the only way to get around the super ego to reveal the actual defenses that are operating at the core. There are many lookalikes. Each type has its own style of getting to the heart of the matter and what is the lead type.

Your talk style, timing, flow of responses, the nature and content of your responses, as well as your expressions and body language when you respond yields the most accurate information... So I am unable to do it here. I wish you the best on your journey of discovery.

Remember to consider your full stacking when looking at the findings. The most recent version of my free test with the EQ, Type, Tritype and Instinctual is here: http://app.trueself.io/home/(enneagram-test:enneagram/questions)?testName=enneagramv2
I have interviews on youtube and I do discuss some type, Tritype and instinctual type articles here. Katherine Chernick Fauvre Enneagram Consulting Katherine Fauvre Enneagram Consulting
 
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