Insults/put downs

pinkrasputin said:

I wanted to encourage anyone who has a problem with criticism and has considered it, to go into a performing major. There, you will even have classes where you are critiqued by peers over and over. You get immune. And you learn to be open to critiques, use the ones you agree with, and leave the rest.

Another thing to do is to higher yourself a completely honest and hardcore coach in something. I've paid for incredibly honest coaches both in singing and for running.

Let me tell you, it does wonder to work with "drill sergeants". For 4 years, I learned to continue singing while someone shouted in my face "I wouldn't hire you!" "What the hell kind of sound is that?" "That's half-assed!" And if I were to cry or break down from it, I would hear "I don't think you are a singer. You're too emotional. Find something else to do. Singing takes guts. You need BALLS!"

Matter of fact, I think my voice coach was tougher than any of my running coaches. It's easier to get critiques when you think you need help or aren't very good at something. But it's harder to receive them when you think you know everything and have been sheltering yourself in the safety net of compliments all your life.

Yeah, I actually have paid good money for this kind of abuse. It's tough, but it has made me stronger mentally. And my poor students.... I need to keep tissue by the piano all the time. Because some at first mistakingly believe that they are paying me to tell them that they are good. But I know when I'm tough on them, I am doing them a favor- I'm not giving up on them.

Just my 2 cents worth.

And insults are lame. There are merely a reflection of a person's lack of ability to communicate. They really say more about the bearer than the receiver.

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Voici Claire said:

Me. I am impossible to insult. Try me.

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Voici Claire said:

at least my Pness doesn't knock vases down

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NatetheGreat said:

I would never do a performing major. They usually result in you waiting tables. I seriously thought about majoring in acting. However, I might take an acting class though, just because you said this and that it might get you over sensitivity. Usually, fear and self doubt is a defeater for me, and I do bad with anyone whom constantly criticizes or yells at me. I like to play pool a lot with some ESTP's and they'll bust your balls the entire time.

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It's helped me to somewhat get over criticism. I couldn't have someone yelling at me all the time though or I would seriously fight with them. This may be a symptom of my PTSD.

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pinkrasputin said:

Hey, I never claimed to be good with my Pness. Perhaps I could learn to be more careful with it.

See there? ^^^ I just took it like a man. *runs away to have herself a good cry*

Ikr? An ESTP just busted my Pness.:crazy:

Maybe some sort of a boot camp? The army? Wouldn't it be impossible to fight them back?

And just to let you know, no matter how hard my teacher was on my technique, she has always respected me as an individual. My running coaches do this as well. I know they are just trying to help me run better. But I think this is key in taking criticism. Critiques on technique or form should be separated from judgement of the person.

And don't use your PTSD to excuse your bad behavior, young man. Don't you know that is what our ADHD diagnosis is for? (It gives it a lighter tone whilst maintaining an excusable edge :wink

P.S. You got somethin against waiting tables? I've paid many a bills doing my time as a table top executive. It's something you can also do while you're in college :wink:

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NatetheGreat said:

How many of you can't deal with criticism/insults/put downs very well.

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Frowzle said:

For me, the NF helps me creatively interpret insults. i usually deflect conflict.

EG.
Someone says: "Holy shit you're skinny"
I say: "It's all about exercise! you just have to get out more. you'll get there."

Someone says: "Are you gay?"
I say: "No, sorry. I'm flattered though."

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pinkrasputin said:

Omg. You get me. I recognize the tactics from above because they often spew from my own mouth.

Brother, thy name is Frowzle. :happy:

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pinkrasputin said:

Hey, I never claimed to be good with my Pness. Perhaps I could learn to be more careful with it.

See there? ^^^ I just took it like a man. *runs away to have herself a good cry*

Ikr? An ESTP just busted my Pness.:crazy:

Maybe some sort of a boot camp? The army? Wouldn't it be impossible to fight them back?

And just to let you know, no matter how hard my teacher was on my technique, she has always respected me as an individual. My running coaches do this as well. I know they are just trying to help me run better. But I think this is key in taking criticism. Critiques on technique or form should be separated from judgement of the person.

And don't use your PTSD to excuse your bad behavior, young man. Don't you know that is what our ADHD diagnosis is for? (It gives it a lighter tone whilst maintaining an excusable edge :wink

P.S. You got somethin against waiting tables? I've paid many a bills doing my time as a table top executive. It's something you can also do while you're in college :wink:

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NatetheGreat said:

No, I can't join the army because I have some physical and mental conditions. Also, I would wait tables when paying my way through college but many performance majors often wind up moving to California and in hopes of being the next big star and wind up waiting tables. Acting is a really lousy major unless you've really got what it takes. Many say because of my real life entertaining personality that I should be an actor. I might take up a couple acting classes, but it's just too damn hard to break into to major in. As I said before though, I do plan on taking up a martial art though. I'm sure that will get me used to the idea of constant fighting.

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