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Insults/put downs

5201 Views 53 Replies 22 Participants Last post by  Roze, 
The Great One
How many of you can't deal with criticism/insults/put downs very well.
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D
You knew damn well I'd respond to this. :p

And no worries, I didn't get offended. It must read that way though. But I did get slightly impatient though bc you wouldn't explain your request.

Now that you did at last though, it makes sense. Singing in public is nerve-wracking, for sure. If you'd come out with this earlier though, instead of the "yeah huh" "nuh UH!" ping pong, I'd have told you that:

I'm on holiday and only have an iPod touch right now, & my home computer speaker/recorders are f'ed up bc of viruses. I cant even go on youtube. More importantly though, I'm paranoid about compromising my forum anonymity. This forum is my people-venting haven, and I got busted by a RL friend on Yahoo Answers & paid hell for it, so I'm NOT taking chances. If you asked me this in-person, I'd def be nervous, but I'd sing - as long as you wouldn't charge me, teacher. :wink:

If you're bent on this though, I could send you a sample of my writing. It honestly means much more to me than singing, because prose & poetry comes from the mind. It completely exposes talent or lack thereof, bc you can't blame a bad job on eating dairy, fatigue or illness. I don't let many people see my writing, but if you're down to *honestly* critique it, I'll do it. In fact, I could use an honest opinion. Though you'll have to wait till I get home next week.
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J
I've definitely gotten better. But I can remember since grade school I have been below average in dealing with anything that I thought was a slight towards me.

Thinking back I know there's one case where I overreacted and things didn't go the way I had hoped.
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God said:
You knew damn well I'd respond to this. :p

And no worries, I didn't get offended. It must read that way though. But I did get slightly impatient though bc you wouldn't explain your request.

Now that you did at last though, it makes sense. Singing in public is nerve-wracking, for sure. If you'd come out with this earlier though, instead of the "yeah huh" "nuh UH!" ping pong, I'd have told you that:

I'm on holiday and only have an iPod touch right now, & my home computer speaker/recorders are f'ed up bc of viruses. I cant even go on youtube. More importantly though, I'm paranoid about compromising my forum anonymity. This forum is my people-venting haven, and I got busted by a RL friend on Yahoo Answers & paid hell for it, so I'm NOT taking chances. If you asked me this in-person, I'd def be nervous, but I'd sing - as long as you wouldn't charge me, teacher. :wink:

If you're bent on this though, I could send you a sample of my writing. It honestly means much more to me than singing, because prose & poetry comes from the mind. It completely exposes talent or lack thereof, bc you can't blame a bad job on eating dairy, fatigue or illness. I don't let many people see my writing, but if you're down to *honestly* critique it, I'll do it. In fact, I could use an honest opinion. Though you'll have to wait till I get home next week.
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I wouldn't be looking at raw talent period. I would be listening for technique. And you can't blame poor technique on dairy, fatigue, or illness. If those things impede your singing, you don't have technique.

Anyway, cool beans about the writing. I 'll look at it, but for that I may charge a fee. :laughing:
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M
I've learned to deal with criticism well. Both my parents are SFJs and they're constantly criticizing me so even though I used to take their criticizing personally, I've started to grow immune to it.
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D
I really don't care too much about being insulted myself. I usually just make sure that person won't be in my life anymore. When it comes to people insulting people who I care about deeply, I get very angry, and usually tell them off.
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pinkrasputin said:
I wouldn't be looking at raw talent period. I would be listening for technique. And you can't blame poor technique on dairy, fatigue, or illness. If those things impede your singing, you don't have technique.

Anyway, cool beans about the writing. I 'll look at it, but for that I may charge a fee. :laughing:
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Fine. *grumble grumble*. But don't get too excited, I'm only paying you in PerC gold. :tongue:
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M
It depends on how much they insult me, and how they say it. It also depends on the insult. For example, if someone just said something rude to me I'd be offended, but wouldn't cry. But if they constantly did it, it would get to me.
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The Great One
pinkrasputin said:
Nate, aren't you already used to constant fighting?

Does PTSD keep us out of the army? :shocked:

Anyway, do want you want in college. I was a performance major and I now also teach at a university. You could also go that route while you perform.

And yeah, if you suck at acting PLEASE stay out of the profession. Some of us who have paid good money to refine our art, really hate that.
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Yes, I am used to constant fighting. However, diplomatic arguing is a weak point. Fighting for me usually consists of violence and/or exclamations such as "Fuck you!", "Burn in hell!", or "I never want to see your ass again!"

My main problem is outspokenness. I am very outspoken and I never know when I am taking too far or when I just need to STFU. I wish that I had my own verbal referee.

Perfect example:

I was in a condensed area with me, an ESTP lady friend of mine, and some type of Fe user. Well, a couple of people came in our area and I'm not sure which one of them smelled terrible, but then the ESTP woman said, "Damn it smells like shit over here". I then exclaimed, "Yeah, it smells like some unchanged cat litter (which it did)". Anyway, we all thought the area smelled bad because of a particular dude that was sitting there. The Fe user woman said, "Don't say that, that's terrible. You are a bad person". I then didn't know whether it was terrible or not to say such a thing because I did not know which person that it was that smelled terrible. After all, I wasn't specifically targeting out anyone. I mean, if I watched "every single" thing that I said then I'd be quiet constantly and under constant anxiety. I speak my mind in order to fight anxiety if that makes any sense at all.
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V
I used to have trouble coping with insults. Then all the bad of the INFJ (according to the personality page site) of "narcissism" came into play and I don't care about insults anymore.
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M
I've been very desensitized to insults. I routinely get called a "piece of shit" by my brother. I routinely get physically and emotionally abused by my brother. I have to pretend to love my brother. If I fight back, I get beaten three times as hard and then he tries to make me feel like I'm the reason he has to be so cruel to me.

I don't get any respect from him. He barely listens to our parents; taking advantage of them and frequently driving my INFJ dad to near insanity. I get baby talked down to because he thinks I'm on the level of a 10 year old at my best. He thinks I'm weak. I'm the smallest and weakest one in the family. He's the biggest and strongest one in the family. He could beat up dad, who is 6'2" and 200 pounds and works out routinely. He expects me to give him everything he wants because I'm weaker and younger than he is. This has been going on for about as long as I can remember. Fighting back makes it worse. I can't leave. Adults don't do shit. They tell you to tell them when he does stuff, but you do and they don't do anything about it. If I can't get my brother to stop his abuse, I'm going to put him in the hospital.
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The Great One
Mutatio NOmenis said:
I've been very desensitized to insults. I routinely get called a "piece of shit" by my brother. I routinely get physically and emotionally abused by my brother. I have to pretend to love my brother. If I fight back, I get beaten three times as hard and then he tries to make me feel like I'm the reason he has to be so cruel to me.

I don't get any respect from him. He barely listens to our parents; taking advantage of them and frequently driving my INFJ dad to near insanity. I get baby talked down to because he thinks I'm on the level of a 10 year old at my best. He thinks I'm weak. I'm the smallest and weakest one in the family. He's the biggest and strongest one in the family. He could beat up dad, who is 6'2" and 200 pounds and works out routinely. He expects me to give him everything he wants because I'm weaker and younger than he is. This has been going on for about as long as I can remember. Fighting back makes it worse. I can't leave. Adults don't do shit. They tell you to tell them when he does stuff, but you do and they don't do anything about it. If I can't get my brother to stop his abuse, I'm going to put him in the hospital.
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lol, is your brother an ESTP?
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M
^ISTJ, but I suspect ISFJ because he gets so violently emotional and makes all his decisions regard others based on how he feels at the moment.
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The Great One
Mutatio NOmenis said:
^ISTJ, but I suspect ISFJ because he gets so violently emotional and makes all his decisions regard others based on how he feels at the moment.
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Are you sure ISFJ? That sounds more like an SP thing to me.
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Roze
I guess it depends..if the insult/put down itself doesn't have a good reason for it, then I'll try my best to ignore it. If it does have a reason behind it and I realize this, then I'll try to understand what I can and hopefully better myself with the new information. It probably won't be so easy to take, but it has to be done.
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