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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Have you ever been called "intense" in your life? If yes, why do you think others have come to think of you so?

I always had a perception that INFJs are for the most part peaceful, serious, live and let live personalities who don't strive to grab attention of others. One of my acquantainces has told me today that he finds my intensity admirable. He said this after in his presence I offered another person some help with a rather simple task. This made me think what is it about offering help for another person on a simple task that made him say that. And what did he mean anyways? It just seems such a rather strange compliment to me ... so would you say we INFJs tend to come off to other people as intense?
 

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Yes, I've had this said a number of times. My friend called me intense, then some people in my class decided I was intense. I don't know why. Maybe it's being very serious about certain things...
 
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Have you ever been called "intense" in your life? If yes, why do you think others have come to think of you so?

I always had a perception that INFJs are for the most part peaceful, serious, live and let live personalities who don't strive to grab attention of others. One of my acquantainces has told me today that he finds my intensity admirable. He said this after in his presence I offered another person some help with a rather simple task. This made me think what is it about offering help for another person on a simple task that made him say that. And what did he mean anyways? It just seems such a rather strange compliment to me ... so would you say we INFJs tend to come off to other people as intense?
Absolutely, I get this a lot.

A big part of it is INFJ "duty". We feel something is just so we have to follow through... like if I feel I should clean up a mess, I will put on a determined look, get some cleaning supplies and start cleaning, even when most guys would just walk away and leave the mess.

When I have that determined/dutiful look intense is a perfect way to describe me.
 

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Get told that all the time, especially when I'm "looking through" people.

Probably has to do with the fact that we are somewhat detached in general, until we pursue something or someone of interest and focus our whole attention on them.
Yeah... it's like...

INFJ: *distant... distant... intense emotion display*

Others: :eek:
 

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I read somewhere (don't ask me for the source) that since INFJs are dominant in a perceiving function, Ni, which is incredibly distant, emotional outburts and displays of connection tend to be more intense because they are not dominant in their auxiliary Fe, making any kind of social interaction draining them. Ni cannot be satisfied when Fe is running full force. This yo-yo effect makes INFJs seem intense because their Ni wants to pull away to gain energy, yet their Fe screams for interaction among others, making them go 'hot' and 'cold'. The contrast thus created by the two makes each one appear more extreme, or something like that.

Kind of like how when dipping your hand in cold water, and then immediately placing it under something hot, the heat feels hotter than usual. Same kind of concept.

I don't remember it exactly, but I think I that was the general idea.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
I definitely don't involve myself in small talk much and whatever I say is usually to the point of clarifying something or getting something completed. I never knew though that this would qualify me as "intense" personality. If anything, I usually feel like I am lacking in energy in social settings, not overflowing in it. With multiple extraverts talking I feel a bit lost. To me intense is someone who is more like ESTJ or ESFJ - these people seem to be just radiating energy and getting involved in everything around them.

Makes me wonder if my Fe is coming across as too extreme somehow? I was just surprised to be called intense for helping a person with a rather simple task that too me like 3 minutes to help them out with.
 

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I've never been told that I am intense - then again, as I mentioned on another thread - I use humor as a coping mechanism. If I acted like an INFJ 100% of the time, my guess is that I would be called intense. When I act INFJ I get frequent comments of:

'Oh, What's wrong?'
'I'm worried about you.'
'Are you OK?'
 

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I normally speak in a very calm and dispassionate tone. When someone says something that I find clever, I usually bust out a laugh and start to get excited. When I am really happy, I'll become more passionate with what I'm saying and how I'm saying it. To others not used to my intricacies, they always say I'm being "too intense," which only prompts me to shut the fuck up again. I hate people sometimes. lol
 

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Yes, I have been called intense. Indirectly. What people say is "Gosh I was kidding, stop being so serious all the time!"

I am a very serious/intense person. I can goof off and just have fun, but I usually am serious/intense.

Maybe I just act too mature for my age and the people who seem immature to me can't cope with it. I have no clue.
 

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Probably has to do with the fact that we are somewhat detached in general, until we pursue something or someone of interest and focus our whole attention on them.
I can relate to this completely.

I have been called intense many many times! I am however very easy by nature and laugh all the time, so although I can be serious, I am not intense 'looking'. So the situation in which I get called intense the most is probably when I am focused on someone. Within a first meeting, I have pretty much pulled amazing information from them and they are often left feeling possibly a little violated that they shared so much with a stranger (who happened to share nothing in return!).......that is when I generally get called intense.

Or in a relationship......my emotions are intense - scary! :tongue:
 

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I can be seriously funny...would that be considered intense?
 
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Have you ever been called "intense" in your life? If yes, why do you think others have come to think of you so?

I always had a perception that INFJs are for the most part peaceful, serious, live and let live personalities who don't strive to grab attention of others. One of my acquantainces has told me today that he finds my intensity admirable. He said this after in his presence I offered another person some help with a rather simple task. This made me think what is it about offering help for another person on a simple task that made him say that. And what did he mean anyways? It just seems such a rather strange compliment to me ... so would you say we INFJs tend to come off to other people as intense?
Yes, I have been called intense a couple of times. I think that the people in question were only really able to see me in an environment where I was really focused on doing something. And that I'm mature for my age.

I would agree with that perception.
And- I think that the term intense can be used in a few different ways, and maybe it's definition gets confused a good bit. But, other than that, I'm just as confused as you are in terms of why he would say that directly after.
 

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I'm always called intense. And distant. But I confuse people because I've got an accelerator button and once it's pressed, I'm a bit uncontrollable and gusting until I'm completely exhausted and withdraw again. My expression can really be extreme as well, can sometimes be driven by my current mood. I think most people find it easier to talk to people who have a regular pattern of behaviour. I try to be more consistant, but then come across as boring, so I never really get it right. Sometimes I'm told that I look like I'm about to cry. I supposed I'm just so emotionally focused at the time. Even a person really needing help can say, 'You really didn't need to do all that'!...am i a fool?:unsure:
 

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You could have knocked me down with a feather the first time I was told that I can be intense. And then again when I was talking with a friend and mentioned that I didn't understand why people respond to me like they did. She said,"Probably because you intimade the *uck out of them." Yeah, you want to pass that one by me again? I'm a first class goofball.

It's been explained to me this much - I'm "intense" when someone doesn't know me and misinterprets my body language. And beyond that, it's just this vibe or aura around me. I've tried to "observe" myself when I'm around people I haven't met before. Am I making snarly faces at them? Am I clenching my jaw? Am I staring at them like I'm trying to bore holes through them? Then, I try to imagine when meeting someone for the first time & if they were to use the same body language, how would I take it? Especially if I was unaware of what processes were actually occurring behind the face.

My answer was, yes. Yes, I would be intimidated and yes I would probably describe that person as intense. But a completely different type of intense then the more assertive, energetic, outgoing types. More of a smoldering, undercurrent, deep type of intense. That's as far as I've figured it out (including things other people replied with). Until someone finally mentioned it to me, that would've been the LAST thing I would've used to describe myself.
 
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