[thegirlcandance]

I know we all certainly get a long well on here, bringing up various ideas and issues correlated to our type, but do you know of any other INFJs in real-life? How have you interpreted your interactions with other INFJs? Did it just instantly click or did you feel like something was missing?

 

[Collossus]

I've never met another INFJs, but I met other NFs. I was somehow stuck between instant click and something's missing because they weren't exactly the way I am (I mean, the way I would want them to perceive me). They felt distant and aloof, although I may have appeared the same way to them, because I am not the kind of person to do the first step in any kind of activity.

 

[xrevolutionx]

I found out yesterday that one of my friends is an INFJ!!!!!! We were out canyoneering when he mentioned during conversations that he didn't like large crowds. I asked him if he was introverted and he simply said "yeah. I'm INFJ". My eyes popped wide open and was just like "You're an INFJ?! Really?!". He said he always tested as one.

He's new to the group (we're a small pack of hardcore adventurers) and we get along great. However, I haven't been around him long enough to get to know him in depth. I would never of pegged him as an INFJ. He would of been one of those people who's personality types remain an enigma to me.

He does things when I tell him to without question or any kind of resistance but I believe it's because I'm the leader of the group and he's fairly new. My closest friends question me and complain all the time but they're mostly XSTPs. I'll have to wait and see if he follows suit or will tend to be the more stoic person. He's also softer spoken and more collaborative. My ESTP friend is louder and, compared with my INFJ friend, he seems to try to "force" his thoughts on me.

 

[alice144]

I've known a lot but not very closely. It must be the guardedness about ourselves. That and we tend to be shy and socially awkward.

There's this one guy at my old job I know who I think is INFJ. He smiles a lot and tries to make people like him (not in an obsequious way) and yet is very shy. He is also capable of cold analysis, I am surprised sometimes at the pragmatism of his suggestions... I don't see them coming most of the time. He has a nice niche position where he runs the swim team, so he doesn't get tooled around by management like the rest of us do.

Knew this girl who I am almost sure was an INFJ, however she wanted many different things from what I did. Made me wonder sometimes if she was ESFJ...? I think there might have been a significant cultural difference. Her boyfriend, however, was INFJ, almost textbook, although we didn't start to get closer until the end of the year. Nice guy.

I suspect that my best friend in high school was an NF, too hard to figure out which.

But that's it. Never been close to one. Maybe I should make it a mission or something!

 

[ertertwert]

The only other INFJ I know is my dad. My best friend is either an INTJ or INFJ, but probably INTJ. Hard to tell with him.

 

[dejavu]

I've never met another INFJ. Thinking back through all of the friends I've had and people I've gotten to know, I can't think of a single one who even resembled an INFJ. It's a serious shame. I'm surrounded mostly by ES people. I appreciate the people in my life, of course, but I'd love to have some introverted friends.

 

[ertertwert]

I lived with four other IN's before. Including myself we had an INFJ, two INFP's, an INTJ, an INTP, an ENTP, and an ISFJ. All in the same place. It was loud.

 

[thegirlcandance]

There's this girl that I went to school with from K-12 and when I saw on her facebook that she tested as INFJ, it was like this sudden though of "Wait - what?" *thinks back in time* "Ok.. that does make sense. Odd."
She was always this real quiet girl who was probably more quiet than myself because I'd at least get involved with school activities -- she was a major bookworm. She kept close to the same small group of friends all through grade school and high school... though I did about the same but I moved around a little more because I was involved in different stuff. What I find most interesting is that we never were really "friends" we were always "friends of friends" - meaning we were both equally friends with a few people but never directly friends with each other. Guess we both just seemed too quiet and intimidated each other. :mellow:
Talk about a sudden cognitive shift in viewing someone after that realization!! Ha.

My best friend who is an ISTJ that I also went to school with from K-12 made the comment a few weeks ago about how that girl was "so weird" by bringing a cold lunch every day of food that you would naturally always eat warm. I did not say anything to agree with the comment, I just said something like, "Yeah that's pretty unique", as I thought to myself yeah I'm equally as weird.



Then there's this other girl I knew through high school activities from another school. Once I got to college I noticed she was friends with some of the same friends that I had developed (interesting?). Again, I laughed when I saw that her result was INFJ as well because we never talked or got close because I guess we were both too introverted. In fact, when I initially met her I thought she was stuck up. :crazy: :sad:
That's so bad to think of but interesting at the same time...

 

[alice144]

Oh man candance, everyone thinks we are stuck up.

I think the INTJs have problems with people thinking they are serial killers. But then they make jokes about world domination, so I suppose they sort of have it coming.

 

[fillet]

I lived with four other IN's before. Including myself we had an INFJ, two INFP's, an INTJ, an INTP, an ENTP, and an ISFJ. All in the same place. It was loud.

That sounds awesome. I wish I knew more Ns.

I don't think I've ever met any INFJs before. I tend to become more reserved around groups that I don't know too well, and if other INFJs are like that then it wouldn't be easy to spot them.

 

[yellowbritt]

I only know one other INFJ for certain. When I met him, I instantly liked him, and he seemed to like me quickly, too. Whenever we get to hang out, we have the most fun. We don't have many common interests, but we still manage to find enough common ground to really enjoy time spent with one another. However, we move in different social circles, so we've never become more than casual friends.

Whether we get along because we're both INFJ's, I don't know. That could be it, but it could also be that the special blend that is him fits well with the special blend that is me. I mean, we're all INFJ's on this board (or mostly), but that doesn't mean that we all get along because while we share certain traits, we're still different people with different values and interests.

I wish I had the chance to meet more INFJ's in person.

 

[Runescribe]

To put the rarity in perspective; I live in a town of about 177,000 people. At 1% of the population that would mean maybe 1700+/- INFJs in this whole city.

Figure your odds of just meeting another INFJ at 1 in 100. Next think of how small our core circle of friends is. The odds of knowing very many INFJs in a personal way are fairly remote.

To think of it another way - I've got 200 people on my FaceBook (only about 5 of which I interact with. the others are all referrals from school or my kids or whatever) - it's likely that there are 2 INFJs in that list - and one of them is me! LOL

I do believe my uncle is an INFJ. He's a professor of modern languages and teaches German. He is very knowledgeable about history, philosophy and many other areas I find interesting. When we are together we can spiral off into some fairly recondite discussions. By turns there is a guy I've worked with for about 12 years now who *thinks* he is an INFJ but he shows almost none of the interest in the abstract that my uncle and I enjoy. So is he an INFJ? i don't know. But I do know he got really angry when I told him that I was an INFJ. not really sure why.

 

[Icarus]

I know three people who took the test and got INFJ although two them I doubt.
Ok the first one is a friend of my best friends girl friend never really knew.
The next I was being setup with we both have similar thoughts on that matter (It wasn't going to happen lol)
The last I met in university and I really doubt shes an INFJ she might be ISFJ... dont know

 

[selchiechildofcassandra]

I know quite a few INFJs. My roommate is an INFJ, and my officemate is an INFJ, so I'm constantly surrounded. (I'm not complaining. :tongue Things with my (newish) officemate have always been cordial and pleasant, but not until we were forced into a business trip together did we probe beneath the surface and get to know each other better. Another INFJ I've known for seven years was introduced to me by an ENFP, and we quietly did things as a group for a long time before we got to know each other very well. (And she's fantastic.) Something I've noticed about INFJs is that it takes a long, long while for any of us to let our guard down. So most of the INFJs I feel close to, I've taken a long time getting there. There's a gentle pushing for a while, then at one point, it was like falling through a mirror and everything was revealed. Worth the wait. :happy:

Although, like thegirlcandance mentioned, there WERE times it felt like something was missing. I think what I was picking up was the sense of someone holding something back. I remember meeting the INFJ I've known for seven years and being mystified by her pokerface. And later, she told me I had more smile variations (angry smile, patient smile, frustrated smile) than anyone she knew, and was hard to read. I know when I can't read someone (and desperately want to), I feel lost. Still. That feeling has passed with every INFJ I've known. It's such a relief to hear someone else say, "Oh, I know JUST how that feels", and you know they really know, and they know you really know too, and you can grin stupidly at each other with absolutely no judgment and complete relief.

 

[ertertwert]

Actually, I completely forgot. I knew of one other INFJ. When I first met her, I sort of felt like I knew her without knowing her (as weird as that sounds). Then she took the test and she turned out to be INFJ. When she knew I was INFJ, I could tell she was somewhat interested, but since I had a girlfriend she never acted on it. But yeah, it was pretty obvious to me.

 

[Introspiritual]

I've met several over the years.

In at least half the cases, it's been less than a couple sentences between us where we both realize that the other person is "like me." It can be a bit more difficult with casual meetings to click like that, but I find INFJ-INFJ relations in general to be polite and tactful at worst, and pleasant to wonderful at best.

 

[ertertwert]

... but I find INFJ-INFJ relations in general to be polite and tactful at worst, and pleasant to wonderful at best.

Agreed. My dad is an INFJ and I have a great relationship with him. He never judges me, but always pushes me to be on the "Right path." The only thing that separates us is that he raised me to be Christian and I am anything but.

 

[dejavu]

To put the rarity in perspective; I live in a town of about 177,000 people. At 1% of the population that would mean maybe 1700+/- INFJs in this whole city.

Figure your odds of just meeting another INFJ at 1 in 100. Next think of how small our core circle of friends is. The odds of knowing very many INFJs in a personal way are fairly remote.

I never thought of it that way, and it's kind of depressing. I live in a town with a population of 1500 and I'm the only INFJ I know...and now it makes more sense. There are probably only a few others and the chances that they're near my age aren't that high.. =/

 

[balderdash]

I'm not certain that I've ever met an INFJ. After learning more about it, I strongly suspect that my grandmother is an INFJ, although I doubt she would ever take the MBTI. And there was a guy I worked with at FedEx back home that I am almost certain was an INFJ. I really wish I had know more about this at the time, because I always just assumed something was wrong with me and maybe with him too. You ever meet someone that you don't have to speak to, to fully communicate? Those are the people I think are most likely INFJ.

A woman I work with tested INFJ, although I am not sold. It's possible she has just been through the same sort of alienation that I have been through and has just been more aggressive with trying to be like the people she knows.

I would really like to know some INFJs. Having close friends that aren't related to me and would be awesome. I just really enjoy that rare feeling you get where you look someone in the eye and instantly you know that you know this person.

 

[Blue Heart]

I have one newer friend that is an INFJ, I would've guessed she was an INTJ, except she is diplomatic. She may come off that way because her husband is an INTJ. I like her, but we don't have a whole lot in common and we both have busy lives, but maybe in the future we will click more as our kids really like each other.

In looking back in my life, I now see that most of the pivotal people in my life were NF's. My best friend in High School, the guys I was in love with the most, my favorite crazy uncle, my counselor, etc..
Fortunately I have a few NF's in my life now, they make my life feel whole.