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What does everybody think of ESFJs? It's kind of fun interacting with them, I don't know why. Maybe it's because they challenge INTJs in a good way.

I'll give an example: In this one class I'm in a group with 3 other people. I do 80% of the work and the ESFJ does another 15%. He and I are the ones most concerned with the grade, I just demonstrate more capability (in my humble opinion) XD

Anyway, I do most of the thinking and "putting together." When we get confer, it astounds me as to how well he can critique my work.

I think that the INTJ and ESFJ bring out the best in one another.
Thoughts?
 

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Sounds like an interesting dynamic. But as far as your description allows, this is only a reference to a single INTJ/ESFJ interaction. Given the circumstances, I wouldn't doubt that your shared goal assists you two to bounce off each other, however I would be interested in knowing what your interaction with other types is.

I could say that I get on well with INTPs and ISTJs in real life. But that would not support there being a general dynamic between the types. Although INTPs are supported under the recommended interactions. lol. Read the manual, it is the new bible. :crazy:
 

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"Recommended interactions"? "New Bible"? Sounds like "Thou shalt only associate with XXXXs and ZZZZs. Never shalt thou associate with YYYYs, and God have mercy on you, should you ever associate with AAAAs."
:tongue:

Of course it's possible that ESFJ could work in your case, but I don't know that that would be the general case.
 

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QQQQ. I think I'd go crazy from being constantly overwhelmed with unnecessary sensory imput if I had to be around an ESFJ all the time. I love them in small doses, but living with one is a challenge. Right now, I am living with an ESFJ relative, and she is hyper! She's as hyper as an ESFP, only more anal retentive about neatness and planning.
 

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QQQQ. I think I'd go crazy from being constantly overwhelmed with unnecessary sensory imput if I had to be around an ESFJ all the time. I love them in small doses, but living with one is a challenge. Right now, I am living with an ESFJ relative, and she is hyper! She's as hyper as an ESFP, only more anal retentive about neatness and planning.
heh. Sounds like fun, until it gets to the chores part. :frustrating:
 

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rofl this tread reminds me of an ISFJ I dated. He was terrified of me. I don't know why??? I was really nice to him.
 

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Perhaps that had something to do with it! LOL!
 

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I dunno about INTJs... but most INTPs hate them (again, judging by other forums). As for me, I've seen too wide of a distribution to make any generalizations.

Of the three I know, they're scattered throughout the spectrum of my likes. One I like quite a bit--although she's a strange ESFJ, because she has social anxiety disorder too. Sweet, sweet girl though.

Another one I was getting to be close to... but I don't trust her anymore. Over the summer we were at the same house visiting others of our friends, and I realized just how differently she acted when just around me, when we were around my friends, and around her friends. Too much of her socializing centers around being like the people around her, and that causes all sorts of problems. She would act like she liked certain people's quirks around my friends (who generally enjoy quirky people :tongue:), and then turn around and talk about how they were too weird and to be friends with around other people. Stuff like that annoys me quite a bit... so although we're on friendly terms, I don't really trust her anymore.

The last one is... about as distant as anyone can get before I would say I hate them. She assumes her ideas are always the best (irritating when trying to do homework together in a group, because she rarely has good ideas), says anything and constantly acts like she thinks we (group of people we live near) want her to, and asks for help and then gets really mad when you try to help her. I'm about 90% sure she only acts like we're on good terms because the other people we're around like me, and I'm also pretty sure that as soon as she made other friends higher on the "social ladder" she would forget everyone she knows now without a second thought (although I wouldn't feel too badly if she did). She gets annoyed by things like bad manners and takes offense if you burp and don't say "excuse me," but I'm not sure if she'd judge people off of anything else. Basically, our personalities grate against each other at every point.


so those are my ESFJ interactions.... they're just what they are. Individual people who are different enough from each other that I can't say anything about interactions with ESFJs in general.
 

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I also cannot generalize, as there's only one person I've known to be ESFJ at the time of interaction. Okay, I didn't make her take the test, but she was clearly ESFJ. I did not care for her one bit, as she was loud, obnoxious, very pushy, histrionic (that probably isn't an exaggeration), and a less than ideal manager. The one thing I think she did well was keeping the store clean. I think she was a more extreme, unhealthy ESFJ, to be fair. There are some girls in my class whom I suspect are ESFx types. They're okay, but I don't care to work with them much.
 

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So far,I have showed three people I know MBTI,they tested as ESFP.ESFJ and ISFJ,and I'm pretty good in term with them,becuase I'm only on my Ne made and spend little time socialising..
 

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I am an ESFJ (very interesting to read what you all think of us, must say...!), and I have recently started dating an INTP. We have found the two types to be quite complementary! A long as you don't get stuck in the ruts you have each made for yourselves and try to listen to other perspectives with open minds, I think these two types (and any two types!) can get along just fine. As we have compared our respective types, we have found that where he is weak, I am strong, and where I fall short, he is strong. If two people can approach this dynamic not as competition or with resentment, it can serve as excellent grounds for growth, both as individuals and together. This is certainly the case in a more intimate interaction like a romantic relationship, but could just as easily apply in a more casual interaction.
 

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Iron Fist
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no offense.

i cannot stand ESFJs to be close to me.

not deep

obsess about TINY LITTLE DETAILS

never get me

kindness only suits their agenda.

:angry::angry::angry:
 

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Iron Fist
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but well ur an INTJ, so i bet u have this mutual benefit relationship with the ESFJ.

"In dual relations, the super-id functions of both partners are the ego functions of the other. As the super-id functions are generally the areas in which a person needs assistance from somebody skilled in these areas, duality interaction is quite rewarding and satisfying for both parties."

is this how it is?
 

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Wow, that is indeed a strong response to the general community of ESFJs! But yes, your post with the psychological jargon sounds about right. I think it is pretty safe to assume that the reason opposite types can grate on each other's nerves is that they see in each other where they each fail - or even what they themselves try to avoid! For example, an INTP questions authority (especially misplaced or misused authority, or authority coming only from title and not from ability), whereas an ESJF places high value on rules, tradition, and the assets of established institution. I imagine many INTPs grimace just reading those words! ESFJs may similarly grimace whenever an INTPs stands up to a police officer. But each must be willing to see the negatives of his or her own tendencies, and see how the other perspective might in fact be better in a given situation. In this way, each manages to get out of him or herself and as a result, grow into a more well-rounded individual. People are pretty full of themselves, and don't much like to admit when someone else's way might be better (that goes for any type).

As for your comments on your experience with ESFJs not being deep, kindness suiting their agenda, obsessed with details... wow. Trying not to take personal offense there (as you told me not to). In general defense, ESFJs do try to be friendly, most of the time, and not always (though probably yes, sometimes) to suit their own agenda (though I'm not exactly sure what you mean by that). I know a number of people deeply - my hope is that by being kind to people, they will feel comfortable sharing with me if they need to. Until then, I can't claim to read people's minds. Likewise, I share my own feelings readily to open up the avenues of feeling-sharing. As for details obsession, yes, I have been accused of this before, and perhaps it is true. On the other hand, aren't you glad when a party that an ESFJ has planned for you comes off without a hitch because every detail has been taken care of??
 

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Iron Fist
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Wow, that is indeed a strong response to the general community of ESFJs! But yes, your post with the psychological jargon sounds about right. I think it is pretty safe to assume that the reason opposite types can grate on each other's nerves is that they see in each other where they each fail - or even what they themselves try to avoid! For example, an INTP questions authority (especially misplaced or misused authority, or authority coming only from title and not from ability), whereas an ESJF places high value on rules, tradition, and the assets of established institution. I imagine many INTPs grimace just reading those words! ESFJs may similarly grimace whenever an INTPs stands up to a police officer. But each must be willing to see the negatives of his or her own tendencies, and see how the other perspective might in fact be better in a given situation. In this way, each manages to get out of him or herself and as a result, grow into a more well-rounded individual. People are pretty full of themselves, and don't much like to admit when someone else's way might be better (that goes for any type).

As for your comments on your experience with ESFJs not being deep, kindness suiting their agenda, obsessed with details... wow. Trying not to take personal offense there (as you told me not to). In general defense, ESFJs do try to be friendly, most of the time, and not always (though probably yes, sometimes) to suit their own agenda (though I'm not exactly sure what you mean by that). I know a number of people deeply - my hope is that by being kind to people, they will feel comfortable sharing with me if they need to. Until then, I can't claim to read people's minds. Likewise, I share my own feelings readily to open up the avenues of feeling-sharing. As for details obsession, yes, I have been accused of this before, and perhaps it is true. On the other hand, aren't you glad when a party that an ESFJ has planned for you comes off without a hitch because every detail has been taken care of??
yes please dont take it offensively. its only an *ENFP* opinion. i assure u if i were anything else i'd adore ESFJs.

what i mean by own agenda, is that this friend, i did the most sacrifice i ever did for anyone. tried to be like her sometimes in how she cared. but say one week im down, i got issues, i need time. its like the relationship was reset. i need to be overly nice again. she is critical of ppl, when gives needs to be given back. if she isnt given back the giving ends. maybe this is a personal thing.

on the issue of control! i can go on and on and on!

the parties were the best. an amazing host is something i can give the ESFJ totally. lots of food, cozy atmosphere, lots of love in that area.
 
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SJs base decisions on what they can see or measure, by established rules and social norms. "That's how it's always been done." N types (I'm an NT) view things in terms of what might happen, and base decisions on things unseen. I've got an SJ boss that tells me I'm a bigger BSer than he his, and that I just make stuff up as I go along. He view's my N function as so much creative lying. I can only tolerate that for so long.
 
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