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Hello, I'm a recently identified INFJ.
Learning what that means has given me such a positive outlook on life, but enough about that.

Before I learned of my strong empathetic tendencies, about two months ago, I came across a true "wolf" in the midst of our "woods". He is someone I met in high-school, and have hanged out with off and on until this event.

Although in group settings he always comes across as a charismatic people person, many times when it was just him and me I would spiral into a depression (with suicidal thoughts) after spending time with him.

The last time I saw him, I noticed his facial expressions almost always looked forced. And I noticed how he would seemingly accidentally be able to say just what was needed to fill me with self-doubt.

I thought maybe he was experiencing a depression and needed someone to talk to. He did not respond well to my serious attempt to help. He started telling me this "story" he said he was "writing" about a serial killer that will kill the psychiatrist containing him. Then he started to describe coffins and... awful things about people in them. He said there are four coffins already, and there will be another.

While describing death, I was able to read his emotions for the first time. What I saw terrified me. He was becoming very very excited. I was trying with all my willpower to look at if I was agreeing with his points and level of energy.

I did that because I literally felt like if I stopped talking with him, or agreeing he was going to attack me. I felt like I was learning the rules to some elaborate mind game I never noticed before.

When I saw him for what he was I was certain he knew that I could see his backstage. Now I'm not so sure, but I lived in fear for several days following the incident because of this.

What really surprised me was that he said he thought I was the most like him of all our friends, and that he could teach me things. But I immediately felt that he was the exact opposite of what I am.

At the same time I could feel my shadow functions taking over, I was becoming cold and unempathetic, perhaps this was my minds attempt to emphasize with him? Or maybe an attempt to dissociate myself from the situation?

The following days I felt that I was going crazy. I began searching what it means to be a psychopath, and found it difficult to find a characteristic he didn't possess, all the way back to his messed up childhood.

I even tested myself to see if I was a psychpath without realizing it, since I've always felt like an outsider. (even when experiencing high levels of popularity.) Now I find I just identify with being an INFJ, but at this time I was very scared of my own mental state.

If I didn't talk to a few close friends and my therapist I might've exploded with stress. They all felt my feelings were to be trusted and suggested I stay away from him. Which part of me wants to do because because the negative energy was too strong for me to take in, but another part of me feels responsible to ensure he isn't actually causing harm in my community.

Have any other infj's (or any other type for that matter) had an experience with a psychopath simular to this? Or was this eccentric behavior for people like that?
 

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Wow, that's deep stuff...
I understand the feeling when you realize you've tuned into someones dark side. Certain people, although they can seem friendly and sociable with others, have an evil side... Usually it's scary when you tap into their dark side, and I completely understand that you felt you had to agree. It's as if, if you're not with them, you're against them. So to save yourself at that moment you're better off biting your lip.
The problem with being so in tune with others is that you're exposed to both the good and bad. You're sensitive to the positive energy, and the negative. You're right to trust your intuition (it is your primary function) on this guy. But careful on how you keep your distance... I wouldn't just completely cut him out of my life if I was you. It could feel like a betrayal to him, especially because he feels like you have a connection. Make yourself untinteresting, so he's the one to decide to finish the friendship.
It's not your duty to protect others from an unknown danger. Unless this guy has explicitly told you he is going to do something terrible then you have nothing to go on but a feeling. You can't report him because of the bad vibes you get from him, nobody will take you seriously. Since there's nothing you can do, just keep your distance.
Good luck with everything, let us know how it turns out!
 
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I'm admittedly fascinated by psychopaths, but I'm always miffed about how the term is so readily thrown around.
Most of the time it's a wanna-be who thinks they're so "dark," "cold," didn't feel anything when old yeller died OR it's a word used to demonize your ex / mother / father who mistreated you. They MUST be a psychopath to treat me that way... I wish, but no that's usually just a shitty human being and there are many of people like this in the world.

There are various types of psychopaths, but the more interesting ones are absolute geniuses. There's one particular case where one pretended to be a surgeon, studied a book for 30 mins, and performed open heart surgery successfully. From my own experience though, I met what was believed to be a young psychopathic child (psych study). This kid was brilliant and at the age of 12 he was correcting me on how I should be addressing him, writing about him, or asking questions... it was just mind blowing. Yeesh.

Conversely, here's a low level impulsively driven psychopath story I rearched awhile ago. (semi graphic descriptions) http://www.nytimes.com/2008/06/06/nyregion/06rape.html

Huge gap between the two.
 

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Hi there, it’s good that you have managed to venture out and identified yourself with the INFJ personality. This will be a starting point to understand the complexity of the INFJ’s nature.

We are empathetic by nature. This strong ability to place an equal footing to instil into our interpersonal relationships can both be a strength and weakness. We will find ourselves attracting the wrong kinds of people. If mental and emotional boundaries aren’t set perfectly in stone, a period long enough to spark up a cognitive dissonance will emerge and shape itself in a shadowy form of insanity. Whenever there is an inner conflict between the mind consisting of preconceived beliefs and cognitions, emotions will often be triggered as a consequence, and as such the following rhythm of one’s actions will be deluded by said emotions. Hence, a situation where one is exposed with persistent efforts to maintain the statutory effect of soon-to-be merged illusions; it is enough to create an existing tumultuous battle inside one’s subjective paradigm.

On my account, I was involved with what I personally believed to be a Narcissist, with psychopathic and sadistic sexual tendencies. Due to her age, my evidence held no weight; thus, it was dismissed rather too early as something which only existed inside my head, operated under a personal basis of wanting to avoid reality. In hindsight, if I was to disclose the overwhelming evidence I had to a licensed psychotherapist practicioning in her proximate area, it would have been a different scenario.

“As opposed to most narcissists, psychopaths are either unable or unwilling to control their impulses or to delay gratification. They use their rage to control people and manipulate them into submission.
Psychopaths, like narcissists, lack empathy but many of them are also sadistic: they take pleasure in inflicting pain on their victims or in deceiving them.
Psychopaths are far less able to form interpersonal relationships, even the twisted and tragic relationships that are the staple of the narcissist. “

From this excerpt alone, I am able to identify the patterns in how she was able to surround herself with people she formed interpersonal relationships with. Take into account such people are merely seen as extensions of themselves and are used as narcissistic supplies. They do not adhere to the concept of duality of the mind. The horror details revolving around her were ones, capable of eliciting excessive attention/admiration/sympathy to amass the delusion of self-grandiosity. She had explicitly informed me, and identified herself with a psychological term which came to broader my horizon. It is called the Munchausen Syndrome. I am no psychology major, but the correlations I intrinsically linked between her patterns of on and off frequent hospitalizations, her dramatic overdoses, frequent bouts of rage and anger, grandeur fantasies involving the Columbine mass shootings whilst immersing in the glamorous, infamous piece of Cho's manifesto, were to be feared as her primary modus operandi.

Given enough exposure after a long and arduous battle, I drove myself to a brink of insanity. I went on a short quest to prove myself and the others, I wasn’t ready to certify and label myself as such. What this experience has taught me is that, it’s easy to fabricate data and stories to manipulate others in the same process, especially on the internet. Remnants of her story were to be annihilated as soon as possible; I had to eliminate all traces of her and had ended the short-lived quest, then, right there, it was an exercise producing futility. If such things were to be kept, they would have also re-ignited the past felt emotions in which I had the opportunities to endure, masochistically.

Watch your step, or he will slowly devour you bit by bit, starting slowly with the agonizing thought of you becoming engulfed in the deepest despair of his hellish emotions and entrenched cognitions, with fear, pressuring you to oblige to his mental framework. A merging between two cherished properties.
 

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Discussion Starter #5
But careful on how you keep your distance... I wouldn't just completely cut him out of my life if I was you. It could feel like a betrayal to him, especially because he feels like you have a connection. Make yourself untinteresting, so he's the one to decide to finish the friendship.
It's not your duty to protect others from an unknown danger. Unless this guy has explicitly told you he is going to do something terrible then you have nothing to go on but a feeling. You can't report him because of the bad vibes you get from him, nobody will take you seriously. Since there's nothing you can do, just keep your distance.
Good luck with everything, let us know how it turns out!
That is exactly what I am trying to do, I feared he'd notice my withdrawal from him. So I tried to act in a way that would just bore him, but found this to take a lot of effort. In the end I left laughing with him, but I've ignored his attempts to hang out. I'm thinking he'll just take it as my normal socially withdrawn version of myself.

I also realize he may not be a psychopath, but in the effort to make this story relatable I feel the term works for him quite well. I feel I'm constantly changing my definition of reality.
 

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Most people who talk about talking to psychopaths, are not actually talking to psychopaths.

They are talking to people who never moved past the infantile stage of neurosis where constantly talking and thinking about death and its entanglement with 'psychology' while being certain in doing such it makes them, like, totally deep and shit, man.

That of course doesn't mean he's any less of a nutter and a possible danger, so I'd tell him you found religion or something.
 

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I'm admittedly fascinated by psychopaths, but I'm always miffed about how the term is so readily thrown around.
Most of the time it's a wanna-be who thinks they're so "dark," "cold," didn't feel anything when old yeller died OR it's a word used to demonize your ex / mother / father who mistreated you. They MUST be a psychopath to treat me that way... I wish, but no that's usually just a shitty human being and there are many of people like this in the world.

There are various types of psychopaths, but the more interesting ones are absolute geniuses. There's one particular case where one pretended to be a surgeon, studied a book for 30 mins, and performed open heart surgery successfully. From my own experience though, I met what was believed to be a young psychopathic child (psych study). This kid was brilliant and at the age of 12 he was correcting me on how I should be addressing him, writing about him, or asking questions... it was just mind blowing. Yeesh.

Conversely, here's a low level impulsively driven psychopath story I rearched awhile ago. (semi graphic descriptions) http://www.nytimes.com/2008/06/06/nyregion/06rape.html

Huge gap between the two.
It is fascinating, isn't it?

For me it's just...something so bizarre because I can't understand not having empathy. And they way they can maneuver people is kind of incredible.

I don't think I've ever met a true psychopath, but I have met someone who I'm pretty sure is a narcissist...like fits the diagnostic criteria and everything. Again, the most striking thing to me is the lack of empathy or compassion. And this guy is extremely good with people. Like a fucking snake charmer. It's crazy watching him work everyone...and then later I get to hear all the stuff he thinks about them, and I'm like dude >>

Even though he's kind of scary, I have learned a lot by knowing him...
 

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After taking in your guy's input, and trying to understand the narcissistic type, I'm more sure that he fits into that. He was always seeking approval, and if he didn't see himself as the best in something he would run away. (Dropped out, never stayed on sports teams he'd join, took competition negativitly)
 

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Hello, I'm a recently identified INFJ.
Learning what that means has given me such a positive outlook on life, but enough about that.

Before I learned of my strong empathetic tendencies, about two months ago, I came across a true "wolf" in the midst of our "woods". He is someone I met in high-school, and have hanged out with off and on until this event.

Although in group settings he always comes across as a charismatic people person, many times when it was just him and me I would spiral into a depression (with suicidal thoughts) after spending time with him.

The last time I saw him, I noticed his facial expressions almost always looked forced. And I noticed how he would seemingly accidentally be able to say just what was needed to fill me with self-doubt.

I thought maybe he was experiencing a depression and needed someone to talk to. He did not respond well to my serious attempt to help. He started telling me this "story" he said he was "writing" about a serial killer that will kill the psychiatrist containing him. Then he started to describe coffins and... awful things about people in them. He said there are four coffins already, and there will be another.

While describing death, I was able to read his emotions for the first time. What I saw terrified me. He was becoming very very excited. I was trying with all my willpower to look at if I was agreeing with his points and level of energy.

I did that because I literally felt like if I stopped talking with him, or agreeing he was going to attack me. I felt like I was learning the rules to some elaborate mind game I never noticed before.

When I saw him for what he was I was certain he knew that I could see his backstage. Now I'm not so sure, but I lived in fear for several days following the incident because of this.

What really surprised me was that he said he thought I was the most like him of all our friends, and that he could teach me things. But I immediately felt that he was the exact opposite of what I am.

At the same time I could feel my shadow functions taking over, I was becoming cold and unempathetic, perhaps this was my minds attempt to emphasize with him? Or maybe an attempt to dissociate myself from the situation?

The following days I felt that I was going crazy. I began searching what it means to be a psychopath, and found it difficult to find a characteristic he didn't possess, all the way back to his messed up childhood.

I even tested myself to see if I was a psychpath without realizing it, since I've always felt like an outsider. (even when experiencing high levels of popularity.) Now I find I just identify with being an INFJ, but at this time I was very scared of my own mental state.

If I didn't talk to a few close friends and my therapist I might've exploded with stress. They all felt my feelings were to be trusted and suggested I stay away from him. Which part of me wants to do because because the negative energy was too strong for me to take in, but another part of me feels responsible to ensure he isn't actually causing harm in my community.

Have any other infj's (or any other type for that matter) had an experience with a psychopath simular to this? Or was this eccentric behavior for people like that?
Thank you for sharing this. I have experienced a Narcissist before and let me tell you it is draining, sad, stressful, strange, and heartbreaking. This person had a horrible childhood and for the longest time that was the excuse I gave her to let what I saw her doing be okay, but now that I know more about narcissism, and when she left my life for some time, she had to move, we became less close, I truly thank God for that. He took her out of my life. I had to completely leave the church I was in just to get away; although, that church wasn't right for me either. No one stood up for me and no one let me know that I was being preyed upon. Everyone just 'worshiped' this person, in my opinion, catered to her needs and cared nothing about anyone else's...all because they were afraid.

My brother even experienced a Narcissistic girl he was dating and because of my previous experience I was able to help him through that period as someone who supported him so that he felt less crazy himself. Narcissists/Psychos, if you are unaware of them, will have you question your sanity, your own genuineness, your own ideas of who you are if you aren't careful. My brother is a strong person, though, so he would disagree with this girl right from the start and they would have arguments ALL the time. I was less argumentative so I got sucked in more slowly until it was too late before I realized something was wrong.

Anyway, it's good you opened up to a therapist and other people and that they actually supported you. It's always great to get support from others. That truly strengthens you. I think even knowing about the terms, "Psychopath" or "Narcissist" are really empowering because they give you a reason to feel less crazy! I thought I was nuts for a long time and that maybe I just wasn't a good person because I couldn't stand being around this individual anymore and everyone else seemed to love her!The reason is because other people usually don't see their other side, because they only present the charismatic self to other people. The empathetic people see all of it and suffer for it. They are usually attracted to us. So, yeah, I find myself always dealing with people who are straight up unempathetic for some odd reason. They are attracted to us, mostly because we have such high tolerances for BS that other people don't!

Anyway, I relate to you and you're not alone.
 

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I'm not sure that narcissism is what some think it to be -- I've been reading "The Road Less Traveled," by a psychologist, who says genuine narcissism is the total inability to believe anyone else is anything other than an extension of oneself. He gave an example of a woman who was obsessed with her daughter's misery in depression, but the longer he talked to her, the more he realized her emotional upheaval had nothing to do with her daughter -- instead, she was projecting her OWN feelings onto her daughter, and was convinced her own unhappiness was her daughter's unhappiness also.

Regarding the person you are talking about -- the fact that he seems so excited with death and morbidity beyond the usual levels (I can be morbid at times, but there's a distinction between relishing sadism and death and being curious about it) does trend more toward what I think is the common understanding of a psychopath -- charming on the outside, coldly calculating on the inside.

Part of me wants to say STAY AWAY FROM HIM. Psychosis on that level often goes bad places, and you really don't want to wind up dead. The other part of me says KEEP AN EYE ON HIM, because you also don't want him shooting up a school full of kids. So -- that's a tough situation. I'm sorry, I don't know what to suggest.

On a minor note, I've wondered if I am a high functioning sociopath before, because while I take a universal Fe-stance on things, I'm also quite cold at times to people. I think some INFJs are just a lot more emotionally detached than others.
 

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I have much experience of psychopaths, and I am not sure, just as you are, about whether he is one or not. I get however, that you have sensibly used the label , in order to get started on this!

What is definite to me, is that he is clearly dysfunctional in some way. (...and some! ) There is some bad stuff out there in the media world. Much of it is designed to reframe young peoples minds, into a bizzare new world born out of other peoples warped mind creations. Lots of repeated exposure to futuristic images, violence, and subliminals etc, and the mind becomes conditioned and more accepting. It may even become the norm.
So when impressioned in that way, maybe or maybe not with the help of drugs, some people become ambassadors for the dark in this world. He seems to want to take you down with him! ....into hell?

Psychopaths and other types with problems, look for easy targets. Someone young and open and giving, with empathy, will feed their need for feeding off of another persons misery and fear!

Thank goodness you know who and what you are. Welcome to this Forum. : )
Join hands with us, and avoid all contact with the dark one. If you feel any guilt over that, let me say that I really don`t think that INFJs, or NFs generally are suitable for the role of that sort of thing. Other personality types might be better equiped.
I have seen the energy glow that comes out of a psychopath, once he has drained his victim of energy! It is real. Don`t go there.
Well done you, for checking this out with us. : )
 
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