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In social interactions I often experience conflict between how I want to behave according to my values and what would be socially successful.

For example, a question like "Where are you from?" can be answered in several different ways:
(0) saying where you really are from
(1) asking the other person to guess
(2) telling an obvious lie (e.g. "From North Korea.")
I am naturally inclined to do (0), because for me the primary reason for communication is transmitting information. Other people would prefer to make the conversation more amusing and turn it into a game by doing (1) or (2). The problem I see with this is that some may be annoyed by not getting an answer and others may not get the sarcasm in (2). I have seen something like the latter happen way too many times.

There are some other types of conflicts that can arise:
When with several people and interested in one of them, should you be polite and pay equal attention to everybody or interact more with the person you're interested in.
Being dishonest can often facilitate social interactions.
Whether to help somebody in a given situation or just ignore them so that they don't take you for granted.

Do you experience such types of conflicts and how do you handle them?
 

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I can't really related to this because the examples you've listed just seem like pretty ordinary dilemmas we all deal with.

Although, for future reference, if someone asks where you're from, they probably don't know you very well and are just making polite conversation or are genuinely trying to learn more. Either way, responding with "guess" is TERRIBLE DONT DO THAT

The only time my values clash with what's socially acceptable is when I'm feeling antisocial. When I'm in the lunch room at work, all I want is to be left alone but people come in and the air changes, and I suddenly feel obligated to start a conversation.

Yeah, actually, the "to make small talk or stay silent?" thing comes up a lot with me. That's when I encounter this conflict the most.
 

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I have no problem in communicating with others, but there is a strong urge to remark in a sarcastic way.
Here's a question everybody seems to get.
"Oh! Did you get a haircut?"
"Not at all, I just decided to grow it shorter today~"
Of course, I'll never say that out of courtesy, but hell will it be satisfying to do so.
 

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In social interactions I often experience conflict between how I want to behave according to my values and what would be socially successful.
i guess my thing is, more than one kind of monkey in this circus. so i'm a quiet monkey, or a straightforward monkey or .. . . i've suddenly lost interest in this metaphor. but i'm not a manic monkey or a flirty monkey or an aggressively extravert one. i don't really try hard to be that way because there are customers for the kind of person i am, as well. and they won't get the stuff they get from me, from the more visibly 'social' people.

so i mostly do what i feel like, i think. it took a while for me to develop the confidence that 'my' kind of people will come to me if i just stand still and be what i am, but i think it's worth it. what tempers that isn't the consideration of social success. it's more like my own internal idea of what good manners are. so i'll diversify beyond the person i'm actually interested in, for instance, if/when i start to feel like i'm being crass or inconsiderate and it shows. so long as someone is talking to all the other people, i don't feel like i need to talk to them too. and i'll never ever say 'guess' when someone asks me a straight question because even if some people would find that adorable i don't. i find it extraordinarily irritating.
there really is room for more than one kind of person on earth.
 

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Honestly I used to think about that stuff but it's simply pointless overthinking.You don't need to decide a specific way of answering to basic questions.You will answer differently every time based on your mood,energy,the person you are talking to.
 

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Solstice Amarok.
You mad me semilaugh, or not laught but smile. Advice. Do not limit the imagination, let the Ni run wild in the form of Te. I do that limitlessly - nice success rates well over 95% of the time.

martinkunev
The social game is exactly what youve observed it to be, a game. Its peoples PERCEPTION about the person under the spotlight. Im getting you when you say your natural inclination is just sharing info, but the general mass of ppl do not value free info. They are not programmed to do so. On the other hand if you make them work for it, even the most stupid, untruthfull and irrevant ambigue, vain and only intriguing info from YOU will be their god.

On the otherhand. If you wanna filter out the noise from the public, and only want to grasp high quality individuals to spend time with, be yourself. That attracts people who value their time more than ego. Then, and only then, the persons who are stuck at low counsciousness levels (17 of them) will automatically filter themselves out as their IQs can not comprehend the waste of time of not communication directly and is just dancing on flowers from there on.

So, what ever you decide mate, make them work for it or just accept the fact that social interactions is only a silly game to show off sociosexual positioning, to finalize a quickie in some office or a long term setup, or to win more fame/money/power to influence opinions/the general outcome. nothing real. nothing to draw us out from cynicism

There are 3 steps in life.

1 learning
2 producing
3 creativity

After the 1st. Its easy to do the second etc. The holistic view to all these aspects is to understand what EVERY human being actually wants. To get that when need only to define what a human being really is. When some of us came to the animal answer.. We just automatically jump to level 2. Just like in Super Mario games. But after level 2 satisfaction (middle levels of the pyramid of Maslow) we get so filled with that productivity/efficience/praise/etc we wanna get creative. Over there we live our wordly dreams. When one is making actively 1-5mil a day, every day of the year, year after year passively.. ..you usually can afford stuff like philantropy / private research groups /etc fun stuff.

But you all see. Its not why we are here. We are here to prepare for the next reality. And ultimatelly help others too. And that reality is by nature a dualistic one. After I die, this body that writes these message will go into a grave, and I (the soul) will go elsewhere.

The question for the intjs and all of us is. Where am I willing to go. Cause its really gonna be just a dualistic reality
 
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