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When you're dating, how soon is it to discuss questions about intimacy? Getting to know if you and the other person are compatible sexually and what things / fantasies turn them on.
 

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Whenever you feel comfortable.
One of my favorite things to talk about is sex though so it gets brought up fast

I'd say do it early. Like very early. Better you know what you want from the other parties and vice versa.
 

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Whenever you feel comfortable.
One of my favorite things to talk about is sex though so it gets brought up fast

I'd say do it early. Like very early. Better you know what you want from the other parties and vice versa.
Cool. How does the person initiate the sex question. I'm not sure if it's ok asking questions like 'When did you last have sex? or 'Who was the last person you had sex with?
 

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Cool. How does the person initiate the sex question. I'm not sure if it's ok asking questions like 'When did you last have sex? or 'Who was the last person you had sex with?
I tend to insert something about an ex and use that as a launching board. I also make it clear I won't judge a person no matter their answer. People open up quicker if you emphasise you won't judge them negatively or treat them differently.
I think you're over thinking appropriateness though.

I mean I always ask someone straight out before I kiss them if they get cold sores. If they say yes I inform them it's mouth herpes and use that to talk about sexual health. I'd rather be awkward than get genital herpes from an unfortunate lickout.

So don't be afraid to be awkward. Approach it confidently and lightheartedly and in an atmosphere of non-judgemental....ness? ...-ality ?
 
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I don't really care about someone's sexual past, so I don't ask questions about it. If I really like someone I won't wait to sleep with them, both because I don't endorse social constructs that find "first date sex" problematic and also because I prioritize sex in a relationship and don't want to continue seeing someone if we aren't compatible in that way. Usually I think things just flow naturally after that.

I just enjoy figuring each other out, and I'm not really into discussing it. I don't like texting or talking on the phone either though, I just like trying things out:) When we are in bed, I'll ask questions, no problem. I will also tell someone what I like.

I am not shy about asking to use protection or testing though.
 

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I wouldn't guess my personal POV is very common, but it's worth consideration I suppose. In theory, I'm not particularly picky about the when and how of sex, but in reality, I don't usually feel much sexual attraction until I know a person pretty well - so if someone tries to bring up sex as in them and me having sex and I don't really know them, I usually feel repulsed, even if I could potentially be very attracted to them in the future. I do really like hearing stories of others' sexual pasts, though, and wouldn't mind talking about sex or fantasies in general, though I'm not sure it would do anything to speed up the bonding on my end. Point being - I would be fine talking about sex pretty much whenever, but I might not be interested in actually having sex for a while. As long as the other person understands those are two separate things for me then we're good. If they want sex faster than that (or without an STD test!) - we're just not compatible and that's ok.
 

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I'm problably old fashion But I would wait untill the 3 date. I was on a date with this guy and before meeting he wrote something like this: ''my best friend goes on a lot of dates and they end up having sex on the first date.'' I didn't know what to respond to that other then, that's not gonna happen with me. I like to get to know the person, and if I like them and can see that it is 'going somewhere' then I will start asking questions about those things. But not before that. I know, very old fashion and maybe I'm the only one that feels like that.

BUT I do know if you talked sex to soon it can scare some people off. Either because they think that, maybe it's all you want - which is sad if you do really want a relationsship. Or by building expectations or simply by killing it.
 

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When you're dating, how soon is it to discuss questions about intimacy? Getting to know if you and the other person are compatible sexually and what things / fantasies turn them on.
It depends on the type of person you're dealing with there&then and what you're looking for in others you potentially want to be with.

My rules for the type of personality I generally like:
The sooner the better. Be undramatic about it. Drama usually scares the personality I find interesting.
 

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Depends on who you're talking to. I go very slowly, so this three date or one month thing is entirely out of order for sex. I don't mind sex talk, but if find the person crass, the relationship is basically done.
 
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