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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Please excuse the length of this rant, as I am on a 3-hour drive., and I am bored and using voice text. H

Hello, I'm a 7/6 sx/sp. I'm not sure whether this issue is specific to seven, or maybe just myself, but I think I might be noticing a pattern in myself that may cause problems in my relationships.

Has anyone else had issues with apparently blurred lines in their friendships and relationships?

I'm in a relationship with an intimate 2 (I think he is, anyway), and our high need for intimacy is part of the reason for our otherworldly bond. He is the first man to be open with me about his insecurities and jealousies. All of my other exes only told me about them after we broke up.

I am always hurt by their lack of faith in me because I am a very faithful person. I have never cheated in my life, And I've rarely ever felt the desire to.

My boyfriend's insecurities have been making me more cautious about the impression that I make on others, and I have been paying more attention to the quality of my friendships. As I have tried to tease through my list of close friends, looking for one or two that are "safe" to bring around him, I've noticed there has been sexual or romantic tension in a lot of them, at one point or another… Possibly all of them. A lot of the time, it's one-sided, with them being interested in me, while I only feel that we share a deep friendship. And then there's one friend of mine that I met just a year ago, have no sexual feelings for, but we immediately started hanging out naked, just gleefully, because we felt comfortable around each other and we could. There have been times when I've realized that I have slept with three of the four people in a room, And the fourth one has always been interested, but I don't reciprocate. There have even been times where two of the people are a couple and have each been angry with each other because of some kind of real incident or perceived flirtation with me. Most of the time, though, I'm not tuned in to that history, as we are just friends having a beer and playing a boardgame.

It probably sounds like I sleep around a lot, but that's not at all the case. I guess I'm just 32, and I've never been married, and I've had time to kind of move through life, doing whatever seems to make the most sense at the time. I actually think I am pretty selective. I have never had a one night stand, and I don't feel any kind of sexual attraction to people that I don't know and like. I just find that there are certain people in the world who are to be treasured as close friends, no matter how much life changes. I am able to easily "switch modes" when I am in a relationship, and I rarely have thoughts about anyone but my mate.

Anyone who knows me knows my moral fiber, and the depth of my emotional commitments. I wish there were some way to make this apparent to everyone, without having to change my behavior! Haha! I want to be able to give hugs, tell people I love them, text them when I see something funny that reminds me of them, build blanket forts, have sleepovers, and have late-night talks alone, without any of that seeming suspicious. I know that sounds ridiculous. It's just so difficult to find true joy in this world without those things.
 

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Discussion Starter · #2 ·
We just got into another argument about it, and I think we might try some couples' therapy. It's really important to me to feel trusted and free to go about life. This person makes me so incredibly happy, but feeling boxed in is the worst feeling I can have -- especially when I'm boxed in by fear of someone else's emotions. Maybe some women could deal with it and enjoy being the object of such jealousy, but I won't be able to in the long run.

Wish me luck!
 

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Sounds like the story of my life lol. I relate to a lot of what you said. All the tension between me and other people. Boyfriends of friends are the worst offenders. I don't go near them but you can tell they're interested and feel some type of way whenever I'm chatting up another guy even thought they're supposed to be taken... to just by anyone either! By one of my friends!

What is it about 7s that make us so captivating? I swear most of the male friends I've had have considered me at least once.

I'm not the touchy feely type and I'm masculine af yet the same thing happens to me. I seem to be very focused when it comes to flirting and I'll only flirt (blunty as well) if I'm attracted to you. I don't know how people seem to get the wrong idea and worst of all, why they can never be direct.
 
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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
I am the same; if I'm into you, it will be no mystery. I am not 100% matter-of-fact, but you will see the difference in my eyes and mannerisms. Of course, not everyone is so direct… I think that our normal "I'm really enjoying this conversation" or "I think I like you and want to be friends" is on the same level of enthusiasm as someone else's "meet me in the broom closet." As people who are naturally enthusiastic, and particularly excited about intimacy, I guess I can see how the signal gets misinterpreted. The eye contact, the smile, the body language, the energy…

It's too bad (for us) because I think that all we want is a true friendship, most of the time. But usually, we get unsolicited advances, and the situation ends in someone's hurt feelings.
 
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