Hi....sad ISTP girl here....I'm just wondering if this has happened to anyone else, or if anyone else has done this. So, I dated an INTJ guy for a year, but he decided it would be best to break up, not that things were going too badly at all (there were some problems (especially when we were apart), a lot of it was me feeling insecure, and him feeling "cold" b/c it didn't feel as natural for him to show his affection for me like I did for him), but it's just he knew it wouldn't work out long-term and that it might eventually become unhealthy (I knew it too, but I didn't want to break up since my feelings for him overrode my logical side...). So, this break-up didn't happen because we grew apart or we couldn't stand each other anymore, it's just that since it wouldn't work long-term, it would be better to just break up now instead of having it hurt more in the future. The reasons it wouldn't work out being: he's asexual, I'm very physically affectionate and he's not, keeping up the relationship felt too stressful, and I was becoming too dependant on him for my own happiness...
So yeah...we both still love and care about each other a lot, but this situation is just hard for me to digest fully. I mean, he doesn't really think much has to change between us, we're still friends and we support each other and we still like hanging out, it's just for me, I'm gonna miss the physical part of it. Having someone to cuddle and hug and feel warm with....aghhh but that's where we fundamentally aren't compatible...I value physical affection a lot whereas he would just want to spend time with me, no matter what we do (obv I love spending time with him, but I'm happiest with cuddling in bed). I'm still not "over" him though, I still feel the same way about him as I did when we were together, that's why this break-up is so hard...he says those feelings don't have to go away though. Agh but this is so conflicting! What am I supposed to do with my feelings for someone when we both know it won't work out to be in a romantic relationship together?? (I've realized INTJs aren't the best with romance and stuff...but if anyone has any advice for this, I'd appreciate it).
So...yeah...point is, physically affectionate ISTP x asexual INTJ, seems to not work out long-term...but damn did I learn and grow SO MUCH with him, and I still am learning (I should probably return the books I borrowed from him...one day). But yeah, has anyone else experienced this? Where a relationship didn't really reach a breaking point, but since you knew it wouldn't work long-term, you broke up just to end it before it got worse? Where, you were able to put your feelings aside to make a decision that was better for the long-term?
Sorry if this was kinda everywhere...