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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I’ll keep it as concise as I can. I have a crush on an INTJ and at first it seemed pretty apparent to me that the INTJ (M) might return the feelings because of the following:

• He initiated our conversations on text. (However, our conversations usually end abruptly and last around 15 messages on each side. He’s the one to end the conversation I believe, since I can’t say much to something that can’t be added to such as “yea later” or “ok”.)

• He has mentioned (@‘d) me on the discord server we’re in multiple times to start a conversation.

• Given me a role to tease me, and named an emote (a funny looking one) after my name to tease me.

• He randomly gave me song suggestions (when on a different topic) and when I told him to put it in the server or message me, he messaged me.

• Asks me questions about myself out of the blue.

• Given me a nickname (Again, one that’s for teasing.)

• Caught him overthinking his responses to me — I appear offline so he doesn’t know when I’m online. He would reply with something, then delete it and then he’d write something else, or he would edit his response… or he might be typing for a really long time and then he’d stop and reply with something else. Once he reacted with an emote to one of my messages and it stayed there for the whole day, but the next day he removed it.

Obviously, I find this all endearing. That’s why I like him. However, I know another girl who I have a feeling has a crush on him (to me it’s very obvious). And she had shown me some of their texts (without prompt). She showed me the texts during a conversation that happened throughout a single day and they were much different than ours. So, reasons why I’m questioning if he does like me back:

• Their conversations last for much longer periods of time. (I should add though that his way of responding isn’t drastically different but with her it’s less interrogative and awkward I suppose.)

• With them it’s like they’re siblings. With us, it feels more formal.

• I’m not sure how often they text but I reckon it’s more than we text (2 whole conversations so far that extended over a few days but lasted a whole ~30 messages).

————

I guess this is as concise as it gets for me. Thank you in advance for all the responses :)!
 

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You said you caught him overthinking his responses to you which makes me think he actually cares. That, and he approaches and initiates conversations. He asks about you, gives you nicknames and generally seems interested (as friends or something else, we don’t know).

Yet, he seems to talk to someone else more, who you think obviously likes him.

One thing to consider is: how comfortable is he in the presence of someone he fancies?

I personally avoid someone I’m into when I don’t wanna deal with the effects they have on me lol. Or I delay the interaction. Call it cowardice. Call it flustered. Point is, sometimes I may not want to face someone I care about until I’m ready to. Until I feel like it. Until I have energy for it. (Cause loving or liking someone can be a little bit insufferable, especially since you care a lot more than usual).

But only he knows. Would you consider getting it over with and confessing? You’re not sure of his feelings but you’re sure of yours.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
@Miharu

I wish I could just confess but there would be repercussions that I would much rather avoid if the feelings aren’t reciprocated. Given that his family and my family are close, it would make things extremely awkward the next time we meet. So, for this reason, I would much rather ascertain his feelings first.

Aside from this, you mentioned to consider how comfortable he is around those he fancies. That’s a good point, and now thinking about it, I realise that even though I have feelings for him I do little to nothing to really show it. I don’t initiate conversations; I talk much much much more to my other guy friend (it may even seem like I’m teasing him rather than my crush). Time to ponder some more 😭.
 

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@Miharu

I wish I could just confess but there would be repercussions that I would much rather avoid if the feelings aren’t reciprocated. Given that his family and my family are close, it would make things extremely awkward the next time we meet. So, for this reason, I would much rather ascertain his feelings first.

Aside from this, you mentioned to consider how comfortable he is around those he fancies. That’s a good point, and now thinking about it, I realise that even though I have feelings for him I do little to nothing to really show it. I don’t initiate conversations; I talk much much much more to my other guy friend (it may even seem like I’m teasing him rather than my crush). Time to ponder some more 😭.
It makes sense to want to ascertain his feelings if you’re that involved in each other’s lives, yes. Try to do some more initiating and go from there. Maybe dropping hints could work. Ask and talk about him for a change. Be interested. Maybe he’s the oblivious type. If you’re feeling bold, steering the conversation towards topics of romance in general tends to be a pretty obvious hint. At the very least you’ll come to know if he’s even emotionally available at all.

Can’t speak for all, but I kind of need a boatload of hints (or a straight confession) because I’m used to others being much more open and friendlier—so sometimes I don’t know if someone’s dropping hints or just being friendly, like most. It also feels a little weird to assume someone’s into you just cause they give you attention.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
:( you’re giving me hope and it’s not good for my typical ENFP characteristic of wishfully overthinking the future! But all jokes aside, thank you for pointing this out. I realise I pretty much do the same around him; maybe if we become more comfortable I might do partake in some aggressive flirting.
 

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• With them it’s like they’re siblings. With us, it feels more formal.
I will add that I am usually pretty formal when it comes to people I take an interest in. It may come off as kind of aloof but to be honest it shows that he cares because he is putting in effort and is nervous about letting his guard down which means he takes you seriously.

Can’t speak for all, but I kind of need a boatload of hints (or a straight confession) because I’m used to others being much more open and friendlier—so sometimes I don’t know if someone’s dropping hints or just being friendly, like most. It also feels a little weird to assume someone’s into you just cause they give you attention.
100000000000%
 

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I’ll keep it as concise as I can. I have a crush on an INTJ and at first it seemed pretty apparent to me that the INTJ (M) might return the feelings because of the following:

• He initiated our conversations on text. (However, our conversations usually end abruptly and last around 15 messages on each side. He’s the one to end the conversation I believe, since I can’t say much to something that can’t be added to such as “yea later” or “ok”.)

• He has mentioned (@‘d) me on the discord server we’re in multiple times to start a conversation.

• Given me a role to tease me, and named an emote (a funny looking one) after my name to tease me.

• He randomly gave me song suggestions (when on a different topic) and when I told him to put it in the server or message me, he messaged me.

• Asks me questions about myself out of the blue.

• Given me a nickname (Again, one that’s for teasing.)

• Caught him overthinking his responses to me — I appear offline so he doesn’t know when I’m online. He would reply with something, then delete it and then he’d write something else, or he would edit his response… or he might be typing for a really long time and then he’d stop and reply with something else. Once he reacted with an emote to one of my messages and it stayed there for the whole day, but the next day he removed it.

Obviously, I find this all endearing. That’s why I like him. However, I know another girl who I have a feeling has a crush on him (to me it’s very obvious). And she had shown me some of their texts (without prompt). She showed me the texts during a conversation that happened throughout a single day and they were much different than ours. So, reasons why I’m questioning if he does like me back:

• Their conversations last for much longer periods of time. (I should add though that his way of responding isn’t drastically different but with her it’s less interrogative and awkward I suppose.)

• With them it’s like they’re siblings. With us, it feels more formal.

• I’m not sure how often they text but I reckon it’s more than we text (2 whole conversations so far that extended over a few days but lasted a whole ~30 messages).

————

I guess this is as concise as it gets for me. Thank you in advance for all the responses :)!
To me, an Intj male, from what you have spoken: 1)he initiate texting, but end abruptly
2)he nickname you
3)other think his response to you
I think that is sign he likes because that’s what I did to my crush. The other girl he texted is brobaly his best girl friend, with you he is more careful with the words he use it shows he is nervous and don’t want tot text something wrong.

An intj may appear aloof to the person he likes in the way of acting around you and texts, it’s just their feeling mechanism, he is not sure whether you like him or not and also he might not felt certain or ready enough to tell you.

So I think he does have feeling for you, may not be ready or certain enough to tell you.
Don’t worry the different style already shows your difference to the others, in a good way( alert can be not interested BUT if he initiate then it’s a good thing)
Maybe just get along with him first, if you want to wait till he tell you it would be a long time, intj tends to wait till the “right moment”. So initiate and tell him your feeling, better if in person.

Please update anything to me.
 
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