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Speaking with an INTJ, about how wonderful his Ni is, all of a sudden asked me how to connect with his son?!
Kid is 14, he tries to give him room so the boy should not feel pressured, yet the conversation seems to center around the boy being a learning machine. I do not know the kids type.

How does an INTJ suddenly connect?
 

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A list of questions:

1. How old is the kid?
2. Is there a spouse/SO involved?
3. Learning machine means...? He does well in school?

His kid might just be really boring.
 

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It's very hard for a parent to connect with a 14 year old, no matter what type either is. All you can do is be patient and be receptive on the rare occasions the kid realizes that he still needs a parent.
 

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Speaking with an INTJ, about how wonderful his Ni is, all of a sudden asked me how to connect with his son?!
Kid is 14, he tries to give him room so the boy should not feel pressured, yet the conversation seems to center around the boy being a learning machine. I do not know the kids type.

How does an INTJ suddenly connect?
This has more to do with teenagers = hard to connect with. There is no use forcing a connection. Best a father can do is be there, and try to guide him through the cacophony that is teenage years. INTJ father can perhaps be especially good at this because he will not demand emotionally, rather he will be able to provide the stability, logical approach, and safety that can be absent in a teenager's world. Also, what is wrong with being a "learning machine"?
 

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Discussion Starter #6
This has more to do with teenagers = hard to connect with. There is no use forcing a connection. Best a father can do is be there, and try to guide him through the cacophony that is teenage years. INTJ father can perhaps be especially good at this because he will not demand emotionally, rather he will be able to provide the stability, logical approach, and safety that can be absent in a teenager's world. Also, what is wrong with being a "learning machine"?
Thank you
Nothing wrong with being a "learning machine" ... if the kid is also NT, but if he is SP!!!!
 

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Thank you
Nothing wrong with being a "learning machine" ... if the kid is also NT, but if he is SP!!!!
You said in the OP that you didn't know the kid's type, I assume then, that has changed? Why would an xSxP not be a learning machine? ISTP is Ti dom, Se aux, ESTP is Se dom, Ti aux. An ISTP might be more theorizing, whereas an ESTP would leap to action, but both would have problem solving ambitions, driven by both thinking and experiencing. Either way, stereotyping is not helpful. Anyone can be interested in learning, or have varied interests. Types don't limit people to specific subjects (e.g INTJs only like science, and ISFJs only like art, etc). There are tendencies, but they are not absolute.
 

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Discussion Starter #8
A list of questions:

1. How old is the kid?
2. Is there a spouse/SO involved?
3. Learning machine means...? He does well in school?

His kid might just be really boring.
You are true!
I should have this background basic info - I was trying to help in a-non-involved way
 

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Speaking with an INTJ, about how wonderful his Ni is, all of a sudden asked me how to connect with his son?!
Kid is 14, he tries to give him room so the boy should not feel pressured, yet the conversation seems to center around the boy being a learning machine. I do not know the kids type.

How does an INTJ suddenly connect?
Conversation centers around the boy being a learning machine...

It depends. Every teenager is different. Some children need more space and some children need more attention. If this isn't provided it can be very unhealthy.

But the number one most important thing is for the son to know that his father supports him and loves him. Any person of any type will appreciate this from his/her parent.

He shouldn't treat him like a learning machine. That's what school is for. He should support him in what he chooses to do and if he does that, the child will feel confident in his pursuits and decisions. Having a father's approval is essential to the development of any healthy child.

Of course, there are people out there who get on well without a father at all... but why would you want to be that father?

The worst thing he can do is condescend and brush his child's interests/passions off as silly or unimportant. I have a few INTJ friends who do that all the time when their interests don't line up with someone else's. I can't imagine how it would make a child feel.
 
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