[Madeleine44]

As an INTJ female I find it really hard to be interested in typical feminine stuff (like shopping, commenting on attractive boys, chic flicks etc.) and would much rather talk about something more deep and meaningful. I'm often considered really awkward and anti social because of my boredom in these mainstream topics. I was just wondering whether any other INTJ females have some of these issues?

 

[Unproductive]

Oh marvelous- I'm not the only one. But I wouldn't call it an issue. Just find other people who aren't extreme girly-girls and BAM. You have friends. I've got an amazing INFJ friend who often only discusses "deep and meaningful" things with me. I've got 2 INFP friends who talk about the normal girl stuff a little more, but it's still fine to talk with them because they still know how to talk about things that aren't, well, "feminine stuff". Don't worry- you'll find females out there who don't talk about "typical feminine stuff".

 

[Texas]

As an INTJ female I find it really hard to be interested in typical feminine stuff (like shopping, commenting on attractive boys, chic flicks etc.) and would much rather talk about something more deep and meaningful. I'm often considered really awkward and anti social because of my boredom in these mainstream topics. I was just wondering whether any other INTJ females have some of these issues?

Cooking is my biggest female topic pet peeve. Women (especially married ones with kids) want to discuss recipes, food, ingredients, shopping for the ingredients, where to shop for the ingredients, preparation methods, how to get the kids to eat, how much they eat, etc.

After my eyes glaze over and there's a moment of silence I realize I've missed the point when I'm expected to respond in some way, possibly with a food tip of my own, and that's when I get really stressed out. I realize everyone has to eat, and I probably should care more about these things, but I hate to cook, usually eat only when I'm hungry, don't care that much about food to start with, and can't do small talk even under normal circumstances (non food related).

Chick flicks? I find my knee-jerk, uncontrolled eye roll usually scares them away... Needless to say, most women find me difficult. You can't imagine my facial response when my coworker said her all-time favorite movie was "Pretty Woman". I sometimes wish I was nicer, or at least had better developed diplomacy.

Welcome to the forum, @Madeleine44 .

 

[Giratina]

Is not being interested in those stuffs an issue? It is pretty normal to me. I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one who isn't interested in typical feminine or most trending stuffs. Honestly, I find those stuffs annoying sometimes.

 

[Texas]

Is not being interested in those stuffs an issue? It is pretty normal to me. I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one who isn't interested in typical feminine or most trending stuffs. Honestly, I find those stuffs annoying sometimes.

I think it is an issue. Women expect certain reactions from other women and when they don't get them, they're surprised, confused, annoyed. Female INTJs are a very small minority, and it's been my experience that I kind of scare people... often unintentionally.

 

[Giratina]

I think it is an issue. Women expect certain reactions from other women and when they don't get them, they're surprised, confused, annoyed. Female INTJs are a very small minority, and it's been my experience that I kind of scare people... often unintentionally.

I suddenly remembered my classmates' reaction after I commented "meh" on the picture of a so-called heartthrob. They were surprised and annoyed. I don't really scare them away but they think I'm weird. Tch.

 

[boblikesoup]

As an INTJ female I find it really hard to be interested in typical feminine stuff (like shopping, commenting on attractive boys, chic flicks etc.) and would much rather talk about something more deep and meaningful. I'm often considered really awkward and anti social because of my boredom in these mainstream topics. I was just wondering whether any other INTJ females have some of these issues?

I know three INTJ females and all of them are kind of loners in a way because they are smart and don't get along with most other girls. They feel a lot better about themselves when I tell them it's because they are female INTJ mutants.

One of them is a model who is pampered and dates exclusively millionaires, most girls' dreams, but she is unhappy with her lifestyle.

 

[DesertWind]

I can get quite deep and meaningful....

With my wang.

 

[owlet]

Thankfully, I don't have much of an issue with not liking that stuff as most of my friends really don't care. The people that do, I pretty much never talk to (why would I? They're not important to me). I don't make an issue out of not liking their stuff anyway, I just nod along and think about something else, so they get to talk about whatever and I get on with whatever I'm working on. There's no conflict and I'm sacrificing nothing, so there's no issue. (I never talk about my interests with anyone but my close friends, though. Except gaming, which is pretty universal.)

 

[Texas]

I don't make an issue out of not liking their stuff anyway, I just nod along and think about something else, so they get to talk about whatever and I get on with whatever I'm working on. There's no conflict and I'm sacrificing nothing, so there's no issue.

If I could get away with just nodding and then they'd leave me alone, it would be much less of an issue. Most of the time they stare at me until I say something, so I feel compelled to answer or excuse myself and flee the room.

 

[Dove_Eyes]

This is why I love INTJ females. They're a breath of fresh air.

My best friend is an INTJ and she is beautiful inside and out... She's very smart and I enjoy that I don't have to dumb myself down in order to have a conversation with her. She has a great sense of humor as well.

 

[owlet]

If I could get away with just nodding and then they'd leave me alone, it would be much less of an issue. Most of the time they stare at me until I say something, so I feel compelled to answer or excuse myself and flee the room.

Haha, that does put you in a bad spot. I suppose you could just explain to them you're not too interested in that type of stuff, then go on to say what you prefer. I'm not entirely sure what kind of people you're dealing with, so it's difficult to say.

 

[Unproductive]

I think it is an issue. Women expect certain reactions from other women and when they don't get them, they're surprised, confused, annoyed. Female INTJs are a very small minority, and it's been my experience that I kind of scare people... often unintentionally.

It's an issue? Are you over-generalizing here? Like I said before, there ARE women out there (of other types) who talk about other things. There ARE also women who learn to expect different reactions from different women, (my fellow Ni dominant friend [INFJ] and myself are quite good at this). I find it quite difficult to believe that grown people are fixated on a certain kind of reaction and refuse to accept another.

 

[Murky Muse]

I can get along with other females okay. But I often feel a disconnect.

 

[birdsintrees]

Well if I'm going to 'out' myself as newly discovered INTJ I might as well do it here. so.. well, Hi.

I don't dislike all things labeled girly, I just don't see the point in discussing nail polish, who wore what at work, which celebrity is now dating who and brands of mascara they have recently converted to. It bores me to tears and I generally just have Nothing useful to add to a conversation on any of those topics.

 

[Unproductive]

I don't dislike all things labeled girly, I just don't see the point in discussing nail polish, who wore what at work, which celebrity is now dating who and brands of mascara they have recently converted to. It bores me to tears and I generally just have Nothing useful to add to a conversation on any of those topics.

Well said! Welcome to the INTJ forum.

 

[Texas]

It's an issue? Are you over-generalizing here? Like I said before, there ARE women out there (of other types) who talk about other things. There ARE also women who learn to expect different reactions from different women, (my fellow Ni dominant friend [INFJ] and myself are quite good at this). I find it quite difficult to believe that grown people are fixated on a certain kind of reaction and refuse to accept another.

I'm not sure how I could be over-generalizing. I didn't claim that it applies to all INTJ women.

Like I said before, it's an issue for me, but maybe because I've always worked in offices where the majority of workers are women. I'm not sure how many INTJs are surrounded by understanding friends like you are.

Maybe I'm the minority and other INTJ women have as few problems as you have.

 

[lilysocks]

I hate being called a 'female'. It sounds like a heifer in some breeder's pen.


But yes, I'm an INTJ and I have limited interest in such things myself.

 

[Ruru]

Thank goodness I wasn't the only one. I was labeled as "weird" during highschool, in a good way. People also tend to think that I hate them because I don't socialize that much.

I remembered when a classmate of mine decided to tag me along to do some shopping, all I did was to stand there while watching her picking clothes that she likes, she kept on asking me whether she looked pretty and all I replied was "...ugh yes" It's somehow sad that I couldn't relate to those things.

Still I would say that I am a well-trained intj. I'm lucky enough to have an ENTJ & ENTP by my side.
After graduating highschool I could say that I can socialize w/o any problem, thou I'd call it a "performance" rather than socialization. However, there are times when things aren't that good. When the time comes I tend to be humorous or very sarcastic. As intj, there are still some personalities that I could not tolerate especially those with melodramatic attitude.

 

[Persephone]

Chick flicks? I find my knee-jerk, uncontrolled eye roll usually scares them away... Needless to say, most women find me difficult. You can't imagine my facial response when my coworker said her all-time favorite movie was "Pretty Woman". I sometimes wish I was nicer, or at least had better developed diplomacy.

I watched Pretty Woman on the flight over. Couldn't even finish it.