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Do you relate to males or females?

  • Males

    Votes: 46 92.0%
  • Females

    Votes: 4 8.0%

INTJ Females

[INTJ] 
6K views 35 replies 27 participants last post by  Neuro 
#1 ·
If you're an INTJ female, do you relate more with other females, or males? Why or why not?
 
#3 ·
I relate to people so rarely that I don't think I can really choose one or the other. I generally have difficulty relating to most people. In fact, I can count on one hand the number of people that I've been able to relate to on a deep level. Gender doesn't seem to play as much of a role as other factors.

If I had to choose one though, I would choose males, because when it comes to casual interaction I'm much more comfortable with males. They seem to have less baggage than females. Again, that's an extreme generalization. Interacting with other people nearly always taxes my reserves.
 
#6 ·
This:

I relate to people so rarely that I don't think I can really choose one or the other. I generally have difficulty relating to most people. In fact, I can count on one hand the number of people that I've been able to relate to on a deep level.
... but in general I'd say I'm more likely to relate to males, due to my sense of humor, interests and very stoic approach to everything.
 
#5 ·
I've never met an INTJ female in person (that I am aware of).

Regardless of personality type, I tend to relate better to men. Due to societal standards, INTJ qualities/tendencies are not "becoming" to women in general. I come off as insensitive, unwilling to coddle, abrupt, and I let both children and adults know when they're being dumb and to knock it off. I've had numerous conversations with the guys in the office about dealing with things, and they're always amazed - they don't understand how I can be so "like them" and yet still be a woman. :p
 
#20 ·
Here here and huzzah. I would have written close to the same exact post.
 
#8 ·
I can relate to both, but they are at different levels. I relate to men socially very well, mostly because they are on their best behavior around me, and will allow me to talk about what I want, and I don't mind talking about property values and the economy and politics and work with them. Unfortunately, I can usually find out from one of their male friends that out of the range of women they mostly talk about women's body parts.

Women do not realize I am "different" from them, so they will generally launch into what they enjoy most, which seems to be male bashing, which I know they wouldn't do around men. For interesting conversation I usually try to seek out men and women either with Aspergers (lots of programmers around here) or who are post-docs, particular women, if they are in the maths and sciences, can be pretty fun to be with and don't do the usual negative social stuff.
 
#9 ·
The only females I have ever related to are INTJ women. Other females feel completely alien to me, and I get very anxious around them because I don't understand them or their intentions.
 
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#12 · (Edited)
As well you should be [anxious]...because they [most females] intend to take over the world with their pink marzipan covered fascism, dominate your independent intellect, inject you with cotton candy emotions and stick you on top of a wedding cake with pole up your keester.
 
#13 ·
As well you should be [anxious]...because theiy [most females] intend to take over the world with their pink marzipan covered fascism, dominate your independent intellect, inject you with cotton candy emotions and stick you on top of a wedding cake with pole up your keester.
So nice to see you!.

.....and....I long suspected those things myself but felt weird saying them out loud:wink:
 
#15 ·
So nice to see you!.

.....and....I long suspected those things myself but felt weird saying them out loud:wink:
I am starting to embrace my inner weird, and wear it like a banner.

It's good to see [read] you too! Coming back to your comments always reassures me that I am not [completely] insane. :happy:

Not that I want to be sane, because that's freaking boring.
 
#10 ·
I relate better to males, though I'm sure I'd do fine with INTJ females if I knew any IRL. I grew up around mostly men, went into more male areas of study in college and work in male dominated fields now. Women find me too tactless and abrupt with little regard for social bs like gossip and small talk. I can sit and have a beer with my guy friends and not be expected to talk...I love that.
 
#11 ·
I relate better to men for sure. Don't get me wrong, I get along with women too but more on a social level. My closest friends have tended to be males with a philosophcial bent or with a sense of humour as black and dry as mine.

And whenever I have met a suspected fellow INTJ female, they have rubbed me the wrong way every time. Don't know why. Maybe because I like to feel special and they're on my patch.
 
#16 ·
It used to be males until they started crushing on me. That's not because I'm so irresistible, but because I'm often one of the very few females in their chosen areas. I actually regret that, because these days if I want male conversation I'm reduced to the pale echoes that come off husbands and boyfriends of my female acquaintances.
 
#17 ·
It used to be males until they started crushing on me.
That is so annoying. Most guys I know never just want to be friends.

I didn't pick either on the poll, because gender doesn't play a role for me. I have more female friends than male (95%), but it wasn't always like that, so I can't say it's because I relate more to females.
 
#21 ·
At large, dudes like their video games and their sports. Chicks like their dramas and their clothes. And here I am watching Doctor Who while duct-taping a case for my external hard drive.
 
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#23 ·
Males. Though I only have a few male friends (heck, I don't have many friends in the first place!!), not only that I am able to relate to them better, I can also understand them easily. It amuses me each time when some of my male friends try to explain complex theories or tell a satirical joke, I'm always the first one who gets it. Because of that, they endowed me with the task to explain to the rest what they were trying to convey. :laughing:
 
#24 ·
I definitely pick males; I never get along with other females. I think I've only ever had one close female friend. I try to be nice, but for some reason other women seem threatened by me. Although maybe I am the culprit a lot of women talk about the dumbest things and I exclude myself from their conversations.
 
#27 ·
I do have a friend who is an INTJ female that I LOVE to hang out with. We always seem to be on the same page. To be honest, she is the only other INTJ I know.

I'm not a big fan of other women, typically. They have to earn my respect. Well... my peers I suppose. It's easier for a female who has more life experience than I do to earn my respect.

That being said, I like being around males to a degree. I find them to be more up-front and I like that.
 
#28 ·
Definitely men for me. The problem is, although I have no specific problem interacting with women, I find that there are all sorts of subtexts in female conversations which I don't necessarily pick up on. I then get worried, trying to figure out whether there's a subtext to XYZ comment that I'm missing. With men, generally what you see is what you get. Also, I don't really know how to deal with female cattiness and just withdraw in confusion while I try to analyze what just happened. It's exhausting and while I realize this isn't an issue in all female relationships, it happens often enough to be annoying.
 
#30 ·
Definitely men for me. The problem is, although I have no specific problem interacting with women, I find that there are all sorts of subtexts in female conversations which I don't necessarily pick up on.
I find that men can be full of subtext and hidden imperatives too. It just comes in a different 'language'. They don't do snotty the way (some) women can, but I find myself suddenly excluded or withdrawn from or isolated just as often with men. Usually, if I'm reading the subtext under the subtext right, it has something to do with their stupid egos. And in spite of what a lot of TJish women say about less out-there women being threatened by them and therefore more aggressive, it's been years since I placed any serious confidence in the supposed 'cameraderie' you get from men. IME it can be withdrawn or cancelled just as quickly as women's friendliness, and for reasons that are just as stupid, really.
 
#36 ·
I was thinking about the number of female INTJs out there in the world earlier today. :)

I've never been able to relate to people in general, a bit of a loner type, I used to hang around a bunch of girls in school but never connected with them. During university I was around a lot of males and felt more comfortable, but also the specific subject attracts similar minded people no doubt, happens to be a very male dominated area.
 
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