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By what I've seen on a few other threads regarding INTJ/INFP relationships, interaction and what not, both types seem to get along with the other very well (don't get me wrong, though, I've also seen the opposite). However, my question is why?

What interests one type in the other?
Specifically, though, I'm interested in hearing about what it is that draws INTJs to INFPs. Because I know what draws me to INTJs. Though INFPs feel free to post (I'm sure you will anyway :tongue:).

So as not to generalize, I'll just speak from experience. What first caught my attention about an INTJ I know (didn't know his type until just recently) was how quiet in observation he was and his air of confidence. The thing was that being around him, I just knew I was "on the outside" and that there was a heck of a lot more going on inside. So after just being "surface friends" for a while and making jokes and stuff we somehow got into deeper conversation. After that started I noticed that he began to observe me more as well. After a while we opened up to each other more and more and now we're pretty close.
For me, I feel extremely privileged to be one of the few that gets let in and I can appreciate so much of what he says. Also knowing that a lot of what he tells me is in confidence brings a lot of value to our friendship.

So what about you INTJs?
Don't destroy me :crazy:
 

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What may draw me to INFPs initially is their quiet air, and especially how easy-going they appear to be with things. On the positive side, I can find this a refreshing change, as I feel daily friction within my life (admittedly, a good deal my own doing). On the negative side, this sort of thing can appear to make the INFP a complacent, weak individual, which I do not like in the least. I think what honestly surprises and interests me more in an INFP individual is when, after some time, they finally open up and share how strong their inner convictions are - they aren't as easy-going as most would say they are.

To summarize, what I like best of INFPs are their many layers, at least generally. What I dislike of INFPs is how sensitive they can come off as, which, honestly, is just the flip side of their emotional intelligence. There's nothing to be done about it but to try and alter my own responses.
 

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I think what honestly surprises and interests me more in an INFP individual is when, after some time, they finally open up and share how strong their inner convictions are - they aren't as easy-going as most would say they are.
This is just what I love about them. They say these things like "no one should have to suffer." and I'm thinking "yeah in theory, that would be nice, but it's not going to happen." but they are serious about making these very abstract things happen. If find that impressive.
 

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My best friend is an INFP. I think she had a similar experience to yours. She has become one of only two people allowed to hug me unconditionally, which I think is rather thrilling for her.

She disapproves of how cynical I am and how poorly I look upon most people, I disapprove of her indecisiveness, naivete and unreasonable trust in the "goodness" of human kind. I find we balance each other out nicely. Anything to excess is a fault, and her love and acceptance tempers well my rather bitter outlook on the world.
 

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my husband is an intj (i adore him) . he often tells me that what drew him to me was that i thought 'deep'. he likes that we can converse about 'things that matter'.
 

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This is just what I love about them. They say these things like "no one should have to suffer." and I'm thinking "yeah in theory, that would be nice, but it's not going to happen." but they are serious about making these very abstract things happen. If find that impressive.
Yeah. I find the serious tone of these statements endearing and refreshing too.

"no one should have to suffer..."

"I could never abandon anyone..."

"did you feel invalidated when I said that?"

and there are others I can't share or don't remember....

Most people do not share these sentiments or express them with such conviction and honesty. It's special and sweet. That reminds me...Valentine's Day is coming up soon.
 

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i am writing about interactions instead. i don't really remember how we became friends. i don't share a romantic relationship with him ... more of a competitive friendship, but the friendly kind.

Actually it's not very obvious in the sense of brawling/debating stuff... because we are conflict-free people. But when he wants to issue a challenge, he does it subtly or with a rise of his brows or something along the line. And it irritates me to no end (because most of the times I always lose). e.g once I was doing a maths worksheet, he happens to have the worksheet. And while I was doing the paper, he kept asking me what qns I was on... turns out he was trying to compete to see who finished the ws first because when he was before me, he kept giving me that idiotic grin that says HAHA I'M LEADING SUCKER. or another occasion where he raise his brow and issues a challenge to see who can read that person's motive faster. but the thing is he is almost always has an advantage before he issues any challenges, and it's not fair, not like he cares. but haha, today, he was the recipient of the HAHA I WIN SUCKER grin. and if he hadn't kept complaining to my friend and ours when they approached him, I wouldn't have felt so smug. it feels good to be the winner for once.

he is cynical, but i like his humour, we kind of like sick humour and irony. and deep conversations seem like a N thing, but my ENFP friends don't really like to talk about deep stuff and about the future when it is not of ~the time, so I usually talk to INTJ about such stuff.
 

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INFPs and I are mutually attracted to each other in terms of friendship, however, romantically, I seem to draw the INFPs. In relationships, however, our differences blow up, and it ends in our mutual withdrawal into our shells, eventually leading to break up.
 

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I like INFPs because they have qualities I don't have in my own type. They're gentle and kind, and understand people. You can connect with them on a deep level, and while they do feel strongly, they aren't too in-your-face about it like some types are. They seem like a natural complement to the INTJ.

Edit: Sorry to resurrect an old thread. I don't know how that happened.
 

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One of my best friends is an INFP, and this is largely because I went out of my way to get to know her. Simply put, she fascinates me. She's the biggest dreamer I've ever met, and I'm a solid realist. She can be very outgoing, and I'm incredibly reserved. She appreciates emotions, I appreciate logic. She's like a puzzle that no matter how much I analyze, always has some new and fascinating feature.

At the same time, she's extremely intelligent, and she can actually follow (and even share in) all of my INTJ rants and rambles and analysis. She can understand the facts that I give her, and helps me comprehend the emotional side of things. (I am particularly baffled by my own emotions and when I feel strange, she helps me not only see why my psyche seems like it's is being illogical; she also helps me see why my feelings are actually reasonable and valid.) She is also one of the few people I know who shows unconditional positive regard, and being an incredibly harsh self-critic I find this soothing.

As for why she chose to be my friend, I can only guess from the things she has told me or things I've noticed. I know she amplifies my intuitive nature, so I can intuitively tell when she's upset about something, or when she needs emotional support. And over time, I've learned how to give her that emotional support combined with the logical INTJ advice that helps balance and calm her down when she's upset. Also, since I'm a fiercely pronounced 'J' and she's a chronic 'P' I'm her buffer when she begins to become disorganized or indecisive. (And boy, can she be pretty indecisive sometimes. :crazy: ) But those are just my observations... Who knows whether this is common for an INFP/INTJ relationship or not.
 

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I've begun to suspect that my 11-year-old sister is an INFP. I pretty much adore her. She can be incredibly clever and sarcastic, but is also very sensitive. She can hold her own against my other two younger sisters (ESFP and ESFJ). I was somewhat distant from my other two little sisters when they were younger, but for whatever reason I've developed a particular attachment to my INFP sister.

She's still young obviously, so I'm looking forward to seeing the person that she develops into.
 

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At the same time, she's extremely intelligent, and she can actually follow (and even share in) all of my INTJ rants and rambles and analysis. She can understand the facts that I give her, and helps me comprehend the emotional side of things. (I am particularly baffled by my own emotions and when I feel strange, she helps me not only see why my psyche seems like it's is being illogical; she also helps me see why my feelings are actually reasonable and valid.) She is also one of the few people I know who shows unconditional positive regard, and being an incredibly harsh self-critic I find this soothing.

As for why she chose to be my friend, I can only guess from the things she has told me or things I've noticed. I know she amplifies my intuitive nature, so I can intuitively tell when she's upset about something, or when she needs emotional support. And over time, I've learned how to give her that emotional support combined with the logical INTJ advice that helps balance and calm her down when she's upset. Also, since I'm a fiercely pronounced 'J' and she's a chronic 'P' I'm her buffer when she begins to.
This is exactly how my relationship with my INTJ friend pans out. When we have problems, we quickly have to share them with each other because he and I ultimately know that the areas we missed, our weak points, can immediately be spotted by each other. He's the more logical one and always has a feasible solution to whatever dilemma I am facing. In the meantime, I'm the one more in touch with my feelings, and mostly I have to point out the places where he lacked in reading a person's emotions or sensitivity, or maybe where he lacked empathy which is why he's resulted in a problem at that moment.

It's a pretty good relationship. When there are other people around, we bicker and try to shut down each other with quips, but as soon as it's just the two of us, it's problem-sharing time. We always like hearing each other's inputs on what goes on in our lives as of the moment. :happy:
 

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I currently have a crush on an INFP. I also like to think of us as good friends, which seeing as I've only known him a relatively short period of time is a pretty big deal.

When I first met him he came across as a 'lost puppy'; he was quiet, sort of shy. After I got to know him better (and he adjusted to college life), it was clear that there's so much more to him. He's smart, has a sense of humor complimentary to my own, and knows that not all silences are awkward (so many people try to fill the silence when I'm enjoying it). I'm comfortable around him (unless I'm analyzing his every word and move to try to figure out if he likes me).

What annoys me about him is that he can be a bit flaky. He's also really busy. It seems like he always has something going on, so whenever we hangout it's mostly spur of the moment.
 

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What annoys me about him is that he can be a bit flaky. He's also really busy. It seems like he always has something going on, so whenever we hangout it's mostly spur of the moment.
Hahaha, I can totally relate to this. I would have to say that I never like scheduled things. There are some scheduled things that I have said "yes" to, but after mulling it over, I felt like I didn't want to go. Or I needed more time to recharge at home so I had to pass up on the opportunity to hang out with my friends. Or I felt it was too much effort... etc. So I guess my friends kind of view me like this as well. It's not me being busy though, in terms of other appointments, it's just me wanting to do a bunch of stuff by myself (read, watch TV, write).
 

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My INFP is awesome...

1. His nick on the forum is anoddlittlebird. That alone I find humorous.

2. As stated previously, we compliment eachother well. Logic vs Feeling blah blah. greatest contribution he gave me in the last few weeks--he told me I look like a complete dork, which is true, but I don't care. Then he told me other people are controlled by feelings (ugh...) and will be repelled to my logic because I don't look 'cool.' Now i dress cool to appease the fool. Ima make that meh new motto.

3. Depth is the only thing I enjoy in others... and there is so little depth in people. (inc digression) You can tell by looking at a face, what is going on underneath. Some people are clearly thinking 'sex....sex....food..food.food-food.sex.---- And it shows obviously. BUT THE POINT is my infp is very deep, complex.... I can't figure out what's going on in his brain. it's so fun to try to piece together how the #%^$ he thinks.

The deeper one looks the harder it is to see.
 

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My first "love" is an INFP and hes the only one of my ex's that I still keep in touch with. He's an amazing guy and has such a big heart. It would never work out romantically because those feelings are not there anymore.

Our relationship has impressively progressed to being best friends. Its not even best friends to me, its as if hes more than friends, a lover, a family member... he's like my other half that I'm not romantically attached to. It just works.

I know with him that he has this incredible understanding that really helps when I need support. He knows not to be overly emotional with me and he can just handle my domineering moments. He lets me be free.
 

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I love INFPs!

They're so idealistic which I find to be extremely cute. I absolutely adore how they're always willing to listen to the underdog and take their side just for truth's sake.

My sister is an INFP, and she's currently the only one I know in person. It'd be nice to know more.


EDITS:
I'd kill myself if an INFP didn't write this song
 

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One of my good friends in an INFP. I was first drawn to her because I realized that she actually paid attention to my N-oriented comments (it's rare, at least to me, when I'm in a random group of people that when I say an N-comment that someone actually responds in kind). I love how I can talk to her about deep subjects. But oh yeah, we are definitely opposites in the feeling/thinking. She tells me she's very trusting and wants to just hug everyone and assumes the best about people. As I'm very cynical and assume people can't be trusted, I find this fascinating, and she just sees it as an opposite side of the same coin. I like how she can connect to people easier than me in social situations. I also like her introvertedness and that I don't have to exert myself to get a word in edgewise with her (all my other friends are extroverts). So yeah, pretty much what everyone else said.
 
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