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Discussion Starter #23
I smoked weed and got drunk when i was 14 years old , i tried cocaine too and i got arrested once when i was 16.
My best friend is doing 10 years in jail and alot of my "old friend" were in jail too but i'm an angel really.


​<<<<<--------------take it frum a koon!

:laughing:Yeah! Sowndz like hell's angel!
 

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Discussion Starter #24
:laughing:





​<<<<<-----------------take it frum a koon!


Awe u fukerz b krak n me up!
 

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18 y/a at a friends house [midnight] were up in the attic
we were shooting cars passing by with paint ball gun
trooper drove by and we plastered his car
all the lights were off in the house, trooper locks up his brakes and pulls into driveway
pounds on door, 'course we don't answer
he walks around house shining flash light in windows
not realizing we are in attic laughing our asses off
never got caught
 

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Discussion Starter #26
hmm I experienced some very dark times starting at age 14 when one of my best friends committed suicide after talking to me on the phone. The next year, another friend died and the year after, my (step) brother died. As a result, the "craziest" thing I did was go to therapy and get on some medication. I had trouble in school, but I was able to get a decent graduating GPA and get scores to get into college easily. I smoked weed once when I was 15.

I guess I didn't have any time to be "wild" back then, though I imagine that if my life had been different, I'd probably be a more wild child that way. I probably gave my parents a lot more of a hard time through my eccentricity instead of doing the "normal" drinking/partying thing.
I hear ya on the dark times........ I mean this thread for laughs but I'll rol with you on this:

3 buddies of mine and myself had been out booze cruizin for awhile and then we ran out , drank up all the alcohol. They waz like syain 'Hey man we gota enuf $$ tween us lets go back into town find a buyer and gets some more beer." Kool, Kool we're all agreein except I was the party pooper of the bunch that particular eve. I chime in you guys gotta drop me off cause I gotta test 2maro I gota pass or I'll flunk the fuckin class. I contributed cupl $$ to the fund tho then they dropped me off. "See ya'z 2 maro", latr dude.......

Next morning I wake up to go to skool and its all over TV that they had wrecked the car into a big tree on a sharp curve and all 3 dead at the scene. After they dropped me off they went back to town got more beer & went back out on the river roads we cruised and took a curve to fast. All 3 of em dead...........

now its bak 2 Laffs..........intjonny koon luzsha baybee
 

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Discussion Starter #27
A friend of mine had just gotten his drivers license and he's got his dad's car and we're cruizin around. Now he's not quite the hellion that I am by this time in life but he's like wanting to work on it. Anyway we're cruizin thru town and he says Jonn! I'm like Yea man sup? He says there's a cop behind me.
Me - fuk em. My buddy: No man I 'm wonderring what its like to get pulled over by the police. Ya no when your driving. What its like.
Me - (at this point in time, like I was 16 & when it comes to the police I'm like a seasoned vet) So I say 'U realy wana no? & He's like yeah, I do. So I say you gota bottle or something in here? And he says yeah my dad has an empty Dr. Pepper bottle in the back.'
<<<<<<---------------take it frum a koon!
So I like lean over the front seat & get the empty Dr. Pepper bottle; and I'm like (kawz I doh wana turn arownd) "the cop still behind us?' My buddy says 'yeah' & I'm like you really wana get stopped? And he says Yeah man I wana know what its like! I say ok! Man; Here goes. This guna be easy!

So I turn sideways and tip that empty bottle up - like I'm guzzling whaz in it. Then I qwik bend down over like I'm shovin it under the seat so the cop can't see me cause I'm bent over shoving that empty bottle under the seat........ then I sit back up and turn & look behind at the cop car knowing he can see my silhouette.......

BAM! On come the blue lights & the spot lights! I look at my buddy with a shit eating grin on my face and said sumthin like ENJOY!
He pulls over, stops and the cops ask him for his shit blah blah blah. You know typical stop. then one a the cops tell me to get out of the car & ask me to produce sum ID - uzhual shit. I do I'm kool........

Then the one is lookin all thru my buddies dad's car and he finds that Dr. Pepper bottle under my seat thats so dry & been empty for so long I mean literally there's cobwebs in this thing......... I'm keepin classic INTJ stoic face tho I'm totally laffin my fukin ass off inside - no whatameen? Yeah you do! Cop sets it back down in the car - goes over & has a qwik whisper conference with his partner knowing they been 'had' by these 2 teen punks.

The other cop who had 'run' us to see if we got warrants he goes over to my buddy & give him his shit back and says the reason he stopped us was kawz the trailer ball hitch on the car was blocking the numbers on the license plate......... (YOKAY!):laughing::laughing:
 

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Discussion Starter #28
I'm sittin in class in the back of the room and I'm hung over or sum thing frum the previous evening. I can't hardly keep my eyes open fallin asleep in class. The teacher has already bitched at me a cuple times about 'waken up' but I'm dozin off again and then WHAM!! I feel something impacting my right front shoulder and it jars me awake and I see this eraser bouncing straight up in the air almost to the room's ceiling lights. The teacher had thrown it at me and got me in the shoulder........


​<<<<<<----------------take it frum a koon!
As the eraser is coming back down I reach out and catch it, calmly place it on the blackboard tray behind me where I'm at in the back of the room. And yes! I'm awake now! The teacher is glaring at me, then turns around and goes back to writing something on his blackboard. In the meantime I'm grasping the eraser he'd thrown at me with my best fastball grip and when he turns back around to face the class, I let it sail and that eraser bounces square off his forehead - right between his eyes!

GET OUT IN THE HALL!!!! He yells....... while he's trying to wipe the chalk dust out of his eyes.

I get up go out into the hall. He says "down to the principals office". And we're walking down the hall together, side by side toward the principal's office neither of us sayin a word. Now the high school principal just happen to be standing out in the hallway by his office door and he sees us approaching. The principal and myself at this point in my high school career are like on 'first name basis'.

The principal sees this big chalk mark across the shoulder of my jean jacket and can't miss the big chalk mark across the forehead and hair of the teacher.......... Principal didn't even wait for the teacher to say anything, "I'll handle it from here......." and the teacher hands me off to him and he says "Step into my office, Jonn and take a seat." I do. Principal closes the door sits down at his desk and asks me what happen, I give him the unabridged version and he says, Well Jonn I gota give you something here so work with me OK? But I'm not going to lie. Seeing you 2 walking down that hall with chalk all over both of you; I had all I could do to keep from cracking up laughing out loud!
 

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Discussion Starter #29
This post involves the flag pole at the school - the one they hung the Stars & Stripes frum. It was located in a square 'courtyard type 'area that was formed by the classrooms that surrounded it. The only way to access it was from a couple of doors frum inside the building. Frum memory I'm guessing maybe it was about 75 foot square in size. Not real big - just a spot for the flag pole and some decorative shrubs, bushes, etc.......

So I'm with a buddy of mine one day and I'm looking at that flag pole protruded above the flat roof line of the school building proper and I says to him, "You know, What you think it would take to like put some old tires around that flag pole some night? Wouldn't that be kind of kool. Everyone shows up in the morning and there's that pole in the courtyard with a bunch of tires wraped around it." My buddy starts chuckling and he says something like, "Well it would be easy to get the tires........"
Me - right, and you got the pickup to haul em here. He replies - yes I DOooo! But I think we're guna need at least 1 more person maybe 2. And somebodies gota be able to shimmy up that pole to drop those tires down around it.
Me - well I could do that but who we wana get to come in on it with us? So we come up with another name & he's good with it; so he's in and his younger brother wants in , too and big brother OK'd it & we got our 'team'......... Now big bro was pretty athletic even a lil more so than me as far as shimmying up that pole so he got the pole climbing job. Gettin up on the roof would be easy as we 'commandeered' a ladder frum someplace I don't remember.........
So we chose to do this lil operation some Sunday night when it was cloudy, overcast but not raining. Sunday night, when every thing's quiet as church mice at 1AM.........and everything went pretty much according to plan:

We cruise up throw out all the tires on the grass next to the school, my buddy drives his truck away & parks it a couple blocks away & acts as a lookout. The other 3 of us get the tires up on the roof; we all climb up & pull the ladder up with us and we drop the tires into the courtyard. Big bro & I leave 'lil bro' on the roof as a second 'lookout' & to relay any signal frum my buddy and into the courtyard big bro & I descend.......

We grab a tire and hook the flag clasps around it and we pull the line raising the tire to the top. Then big bro shimmys up and pulls the tire over the pole top and down it falls - gravity doing its part in fine fashion in this caper. I unhook it and hook up a second tire and hoist it up and big bro does a repeat. After the fourth tire or so we had it down pretty good and the rest of them went fairly qwikly.....
Big bro slides down and we climb up over & down the building & out to make our escape. We carry the ladder back with us; meet up with my buddy and the truck; we all jump in and WE GOWN! Haha
 

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Discussion Starter #30
Damn I got so many experiences I could slap on this thread I don't know which to put up now....... anyway I'll go with the gas siphoning one. My buddies & I we used to koon gas a lot; we kept the vehicles runnin one summer almost entirely on kooned gas. It takes money to keep your rubber rolling & we did ALOT of Beach cruizin. None of us really had that much money and what we did have we wanted to spend on hamburgz, alcohol, weed & women not gas - we could too easily steal that so we did.........


<<<<<<<--------------------take it frum a koon!
So this one time somebody mentions about a couple bulldozers parked sorta 'in the middle of nowhere' out in the country but where someone's doing excavation work and they leave em parked there near the road over night. So we're like formulating a plan cause it sounds like an easy place to get a bunch of fuel. Now there's 4 of us and we have 3 5 gallon cans and we sneak over to where these dozers are parked and one of them is a helluva lot bigger than the other. So we decide to take 5 gallons out of the small one & 10 gallons frum the large one so the owner won't really miss any of it, and we do.

When we get ready to make our 'get away' we notice car lights coming down the road so we all jump across the ditch and we're standing in this field of tall grass waiting for this car to go by but instead we can tell by the engine noise that this thing is slowing down, break lights come on briefly, head lights go 'OFF' and this fucking car coasts to a stop, just about right in front of us about 75 feet away.

We're ducking down in the tall grass but peering up above it and we can all see that great big Gold Star of a Deputy Sheriff's cruiser on the side door. Oh Fuck - we're all thinkin. I look at my buddy - big bro (the one that shimmied up the flag pole - previous post) and we're both whispering 'lets sit tight' those cops ain't going to get off they fat asses and leave that car. Sit tight! So we do for what seemed like an eternity but those cops ain't leaving.

It was a really warm & humid night and the mosquitos are eating the shit out of us and we can't stand it much longer, so big bro says lets count to 3 and all get up and start running like hell toward the river swamp. Cool, I low crawl the 15 feet or so over to the other pair and relay the plan & their good with it. So thats what we do. We jump up like frightened cottontails and start running like hell with our gas cans across that field toward a big swampline which is probably about 100 yards(meters) frum us. As soon as we jump up that cop car starts up, on come the lights and I can hear the gravel flying frum that cop flooring the pedal....... That car hits the drive to the field we're in and they're trying to get us but we make it to the swampline first and then that cop hits the brakes on the car, but the grass is wet frum the due & humidity and he keeps right on a moving and that cop car slides sideways into the swamp! We could hear this muffled SPLASH/Fuumpf! as well as the cracking of small tree saplings........

Now there was some high ground in this swamp a couple hundred yards in and we make it there to rest up a bit and we can hear those cops getting out of the car and cussing & swearing at us and getting on the radio calling for 'help' - another car, tow truck, etc.......
There's a little more to this story but I'll cut it off here. In short - we got away but found out later the 10 gallons we kooned from that large bulldozer was diesel fuel and we couldn't even use it and all the shit we went thru in that swamp wasn't worth the 5 gallons of gas!! But it was worth all the later laffs we had about those cops sliding into the muck & getting their car buried!
 

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This is getting tempting to divulge youthful felonies (my record is clean and expunged!), but somehow I don't think I can top the Koon's stories. And, anyway, I think that would be imprudent of me.

Koon should hire a gal from the neighborhood to edit, though -- that's a lot of prose to get through.
 

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Discussion Starter #32
Koon should hire a gal from the neighborhood to edit, though -- that's a lot of prose to get through.



<<<<<--------------take it frum a koon!
I hear ya bro. I'm trying to keep short as possible but still be able for readers to put the proper perspective on the events. Not eveyr1 on this site gets Murahkan Koonyville Slang...........

Next up I think will be my 'bank robbery road block' story - I still laugh my ass off about that one!:laughing:
 
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Discussion Starter #34
so my eyes get tired easily.

Mostly, just lazy.

​<<<<<---------------take it frum a koon!

Mostly, just old!
 

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Meh. In the 2nd grade I didn't have one day of free recess because I was constantly talking trash to the teacher. Also, I guess that ridiculous theft arrest counts even though it was dropped because the asshole was racial profiling and lied to the cops [and was subsequently fired].

Outside of those, I was a pretty good, studious kid. Sneaking out of the house to go to a party never crossed my mind.
 

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in 11th grade I had this English teacher ''mrs malchoff'' the crotchety old bitch
she hated me on account of having my douche bag brother and sister
the wrinkly, prune faced hag hated me because of my last name
well anyhoo it was winter and she wore over boots, when she left for the day grandma hand job would remove her shoes
and put on her winter shoes
one day while prune face left class v'bob placed one egg in each boot
broom hilda returns, takes off shoes and puts on one boot
egg breaks, she pauses blank look on hag face
proceeds with other boot, same reaction:eek:h:
the senile old bitch never did find out it was me


another time me and friend took 55 gallon garbage pail
filled it 1/3 with water, leaned it against her door
knocks on door, runs out of sight
she opens door:laughing:
splash, she be soaked
 

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Mostly, just old!
I'm in my prime! </Doc Holliday>

I'm gonna find a good SFW picture of a truss and send it to you.

Old timer.

Every time I read this thread, I keep thinking of a bunch of different crimes I committed from the age of reason to...well, pretty recently -- most of them were just running with the wrong crew, but still, I got pinched along with anybody.

And, no, I'm not talking about smoking jazz cigarettes or shit, but I'm proud to say I'm no Mark Wahlberg. Federal crimes, felony crimes of the state. Class A misdemeanors. Absolutely. Numerous torts could have been pursued with near 1 probability of recovery by the complainants. Otherwise, I couldn't hope to keep count.

I'm pretty sure just today telling some cunt "I hope you die" could be prosecuted as "menacing," and in my US state, some crimes of that similarity class can be pursued in civil court.

I don't have a big enough brain to keep it all inside there.

I hate remembering crap!

I blame you!

I blame America!

I prefer to think about new crimes!

You old son of a koon.
 

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Discussion Starter #38
Damn its been awhile and I see I left off with sharing the 'bank robbery' story; so heer tiz:
Its deer hunting season and 2 of my buddies & I are about 2 hours North from our 'homes' and we're camped out in the woods deer hunting. I was 16 & my 2 buddies are both 17 & 18. Now 1 of my buddies is 'Big Bro' from previous posts on this thred.

I happened to get lucky and had drawn a doe permit which enables me to shoot a doe as well as a buck deer. My other 2 buddies didnt get one. So opening morning Big Bro sees a big fat doe & shoots it and he finds me so I can put my doe tag on it so it looks legal.
Ok I say and its like 9:30 in the morning first day of season except I'm like hey Big Bro I'm just going to put the tag on this doe but I'm not gonig to punch the date, etc so i can l'ike shoot 1 later in the season if I want to.
<<<<<<---------------------​take it frum a koon!
Cool he says and then adds, lets throw it in the trunk of the car then and we can haul ass back to my mom & dads place; we can skin & quarter it & put in in the fridge and then haul ass back up here so we can hunt yet this evening. Cool we say and thats what we do.

Now big Bro had a '69 SS 396 4 on the floor chevy Nova and this car would fly! We got on the back roads and we're going like 95 to a hundred mph so we can get back up North & hunt that evening. We picked up a 12 pack of beer and just threw our guns & all in the backseat and we're FLYIN!

So about hafway back up to camp we come around this big sweeping downhill curve going about 95 approaching this big river bridge and heres an army of cop cars blocking this bridge - a big fuckin road block at the big river bridge! The cops waved 3 fucking cars threw and pointed for us to stop & pull over! There like a gahzillion cops with rifles & shotguns behind their fucking cars and all them guns are all pointed at us! My 17 yr old buddy & I are like trying to hide the 12 pak on the floor with our feet & legs, etc - Talk about the stupidity of the teen brain. A million guns pointed at us and we're worried about em finding the beer!

So anyway Big Bro pulls over and here all these guns pointed at us and we're like thinkin WTF WTF WTF in a major way! Then the state trooper that got the job to approach us , he's walkin up the centerline toward us holding this M-1 Carbine at port arms and he gets about 15 feet from the car and that 30 round banana clip he had in that assault rifle falls out of the gun and unto the road. I had all I could do to keep frum busting out laughing out loud and Big Bro - damn him - he leans out his drivers side window and says, "AHhh Officer, ehh you dropped your clip."
OMG I'm thinkin; STFU Big Bro, jus STFU! STFU! ........and that stupid cop puts his foot on the clip and keeps approaching us draggin that clip along with him with his foot, while I'm silently LMAO!
So the trooper gets up to us & he says "Whats your hurry boys?" And we're lke still trying to hide the beer & all of our guns are just thrown open in the back seat, etc and Big Bro is sayin - well we're trying to get up North so we could stil hunt yet this evening before it gets dark, blah blah blah........ and the cops checked us all out and dint' fuk with us about anything and we obviously weren't who they were lookin for and let us take off.
We found out later that there had been a bank robbery earlier that day across the county and thats what that roadblock was all about and all them cops had an itchy trigger finger. At the time I was scared shitless but since then we've had good laffs about all of it.
 
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It's good to see you around @intjonn!

My most delinquent years were when I was 11 to 16 through the 90's. I lived in ghetto neighborhoods with little parental supervision, where the kids developed a sort of Lord of the Flies political economy in preparation for gangster life. We spent summers sneaking into pools and playing tag on rooftops of abandoned buildings. We established exchange rates for Pokémon cards, toys, candy, and weed. We engaged in turf wars that often ended with bloody noses, and gained credibility by who had the best diss or break dance skills. If you left something valuable out and somebody stole it, that was on you. If you got swindled or lied to, it was your fault for being stupid. Deferring to any authority (especially your momma) made you a coward. You chose your loyalties and fucked over the rest.

It seemed a lot more like real life without the pretense of civility.
 

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It's hard to remember specifics about the past, but I'll try my best.

Most of the "delinquent" stuff I did was pretty typical. Drinking with friends, occasionally smoking weed and copiously smoking cigarettes (I had my first cigarette when I was 11, given to me by a friend of my mom's), minor illegal things like going to parks past curfew, trespassing, lying in the middle of the road at night and jumping out of the way of cars at the last minute. Nothing terribly exciting or unusual. I don't remember targeting people with mischief or anything like that. I gave my sister a black eye when I was 18, while we were in the middle of a fight, but there's a long and complex history behind our dynamic. I didn't mean to, which sounds like bullshit, but it's true. My body just reacted instinctively to a sense of threat.

I never got in trouble with the law. I was sent to an alternative high school for being truant and "emotionally disturbed" when I was 15, so I was around those kids anyway, the delinquent ones, in the same system and feeling a kinship with them for the most part, despite occasional tense interactions. The school actually took us all on a field trip to juvie once, which is the only field trip I remember having there. I think it was supposed to remind the people wearing the ankle monitors what would happen if they stepped out of line again and scare everyone else straight, but I already had no intention of ever gaining a criminal record. It left an impression on me, but not the one I think they intended.

I did have vast amounts of experience with another type of corrective institution growing up though - the psych one. I did inpatient, partial hospitalization, intensive outpatient, etc. Stuff happened there, particularly in inpatient, that I spent most of my life after trying not to think about. After one of the times I was released, when I was 16, my mom took pictures in the kitchen of the damage I'd been dealt. The documentation was all for naught though, as she never pursued a lawsuit. It was my word against theirs. So I know what the correctional stuff is like, I guess. I just skipped the part where I committed the crime, like going directly to jail without collecting $200 in Monopoly.

(In my medical records, they wrote that I assaulted them rather than vice versa because they wanted to avoid legal repercussions, so technically I do have something of a criminal record. It's just in my medical record instead, which doesn't expunge once you're past the age of majority, unfortunately.)

I technically also broke the law by sleeping outside in the city under a tarp, but I was 19 by then, so not a juvenile. I had a habit then, and I guess I still do, of disregarding personal safety in favor of trying to help people. I remember walking to a hotel in the middle of the night to use their bathroom and encountering a couple on the crosswalk. The man was hitting the woman. I told him to knock it off. Got threatened for it and she begged me not to call the cops. I didn't try to fight and he didn't fight me either. I just waited til they disappeared and then called the police, who did fuck all, of course.
 
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