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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I've lived with an ESFP for about a year. I know it's a bad match, but we've turned out to be really good friends...you guys are so friendly. He's even counted me as part of his family. Which makes what I have to do harder.

I knew he had a drug habit before he moved in. I thought it was recreational, as it turns out it's more of a lifestyle choice. He smokes synthetic pot 6+ times a day. Probably something bad happened in his past that he doesn't want to remember. I've unsuccessfully tried to get him to open up about it. I've tried to make him get professional help or at least realize the destructiveness of his habit. All attempts to curb his drug habit have been unsuccessful. We are fairly young but his life is going nowhere - I managed to talk to his family and get him on anti-depressants. But he still won't kick the habits that got him depressed in the first place. I haven't told his family of his drug use.

My life continues on. I recently started a hedge fund - buy ANR. Typical INTJ being an INTJ. It's become hard to watch him throw his life away, I cannot do it anymore. I need to ask him to move out but how can I do it without him taking it personally? I don't think that's possible, but I'd like to maintain a friendship with the guy. Should I tell his family about his drug habit? Although, that would certainly ruin the friendship...
 

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@TheProphet556 - The best thing you can do is express your concern to him, and express your concern to his family. Definitely tell his family. Break it to him gently. Be honest, but make it a, "I'm doing and saying this because I care." And it might be hard for a while. He might stay mad for awhile... but I'm sure you'd hate to see him ruin his life more as he is doing. Especially when he's so nice and welcoming.

Haha, ESFPs and INTJs are an epic match. ^^
 

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I'm living in Belgium, about 15 minutes from holland border. So in my youth it was very easy to legally buy weed.
I used to smoke weed from I was about 16 untill 29 years with the last 10 years on every day basis.
So I know what you're talking about. It does make you apathic, that's true. And everyday use can not last that long.
It will be a reason why he will miss chances in life.
Druguse is not always to forget the past. It can start as recreational use and make you psychological addicted.
Sometimes now I still like to smoke something, but only on rare occasion, when I'm sure I don't have to take care of the kids (or something important) the rest of that day.

I finished my studies, got a diploma and work now for over 10 years on a steady basis.
So even while using marijuana, you can achieve something.
But of course you need discipline as well. I figured out fast that smoking before something important does not work.
So soon I quit smoking during daytime and only smoked in the evening when important tasks were finished.
It might be easier for him to quit in stages, instead of stop smoking completly from one day to the other.
First fix the important stuff and after he can do what he wants.

But he has to see that by himself. Talking to him will probably not work if he doesn't see the problem.
Probably he knows already it's not good for him, but that idea gives him stress an marijuana releaves the stress.
I don't know if talking to the family helps. Depends on how the family reacts to problems like this.
Starting the conversation with professional help and all that won't fix the problem.

Did you try to make an agreement of not using drugs (and storing drugs) in your appartment?
That could be a good start in decreasing his druguse.
He has to find some tasks to do before he smokes. That will activate him and also decreases his use.
When he is able to do that, he's ready for bigger steps.
If he's not, you can't help him all by yourself.

Does he have a girlfriend? The best way to get a man on the right track, is by a good woman! ;)
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Thanks Julia Bell, Beunhaas, and Mooseantler for responding.

Beunhaas, its not the same kind of weed. In the United States most illegal drugs are readily available, you just have to know somebody. Many companies in the US test employees for illegal substances, anyway, the folks who want to get touched have options. That's where synthetic weed comes in, it's a chemical solution sprayed onto what looks like regular weed (purely for show of course). I'll spare you the details - their isn't a plant on earth that gives the user such an extreme high. They do sell stuff that gives you that mild, pot like high, but most synthetic weed is geared towards the extreme crowd, my roommate really enjoys that kind...

...its far worse than regular weed, even the really strong stuff.

No roommate contract - I didn't know the problem was so out of hand.

Romantic relationship is a solid idea. But we'd have to find someone pretty desperate, what can I say? The dudes a mess. The constant drug use has made his social life cave in. I've actively encouraged him to go out and do wild ESFP things... no luck.

An INTJ encouraging an ESFP to go be social. Carl Jung is rolling in his grave.

*Sigh*, oh well, releasing him to the world of rental apartments is something I feel strongly about. I can't stop him from making stupid impulsive decisions, but that doesn't mean I have to have a front row seat to the worst show on earth.
 
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