Personality Cafe banner

INTJ or INFJ male?

1643 Views 7 Replies 3 Participants Last post by  owlet
I posted this in the wrong section. So I post it again in the right one now :

Here are some traits of one guy I got to know. I am quite sure, he's INxJ now. Just unsure which type of.

- He comes off as Extraverted but he's not.
He opened up to me that he needs time for him self. That he can't stay around people for too long. That he just loves being in the nature and enjoying nature, enjoys going on holidays by himself.

-He's very organized, big planner, plans everything in advance. No room for some Pness. He's J.

- Im not sure how funny he finds me. I think, he finds my silly humor appealing but still yet, he often looks at me as if he just understands half of my jokes.
I am random, disorganized and forgetful and it seems to amuse him. Yet, random off-the-wall movies I like don't seem to make it for him. He either loves deep meaningful movies, or romantic ones with nice landscapes, or acceptable comedies or stand-up shows.

-he's very into sport. At a high level. He sounds quite Se. He has a lot of admiration for emergencies doctors and people who are quick decision makers in the medecine field.

- he's brilliant (he's a physician).

- he's not artsy or does not appear as artsy.

-in his job, he built a new place for standardization of one need for patients in his field. Basically, he opened a place where computering will objective pain and give rehabilitation strong advices on how to keep on rehab with the patients. It sounds quite Te, I know... But I suspect his ex-wife was ENTJ anyway. So maybe Te is contagious....

he doesn't manage to say no to people. He's thoughtful. But on the other hand he's quite straightforward in his mailing /text messages. No room for small talk.
typical mail to people is "Hi, absent.Good day"

He's quite warm to people. He will always come and greet with a big smile, people he knows. Whatever history you have with him. As if he would like you to always feel at ease with him.
He's honest and is not the type of guy who chase any girl.
He's still into his ex wife (i suspect to be an ENTx maybe ENTJ) after 4 years of separation. Doesn't move on.
He got very affected (quite openly) by the death of a family member recently (uncle).
He hates listening to people complaining in his private life because he listens to much to people complaining in his job.
See less See more
1 - 8 of 8 Posts
He sounds like an SJ type from all you posted?

I'm not really seeing NF or NT there...
Yeah, I thought of this too. But no... He's constantly trying to fit against narrow-minded opinions, to have his own way of thinking, not to let others influence him. He's nothing but a follower of rules. Just even the contrary. Kinda rebel at heart.

Just to add : his very best friend and confident is an ENTP that has been tested by a psychologist.It's maybe the person he appreciates the most in the world. Him and one INxJ other physican co-worker. The wife of this ENTP guy is INFJ and he appreciates her softness.
I have an other ENTJ friend he doesn't get along with at all. And one ISFJ and one ISTJ, he didn't get along with neither.
This male friend got kinda always drawn to me, never ambigous with any other girl but quite always with me. Seems to be attracted to independant, charismatic girls...
See less See more
O by the way, after his divorce, he openly asked for help and support around him... he started a psycho-analysis with a freudian therapeute. That doesn't sound very INTJ, right?
eee. I dunno.

Gosh, I hate when people don't fit into types ;)

Still, I'm thinking complex SJ more than anything else....

But if you are sure he's an NT or NF... he sounds more NT, to be honest. Although NF males are difficult to type because society teaches them to be tough.

If he's an INTJ, he would likely be socially awkward. Like unable to read emotions, or social cues (and furthermore not care about social cues). He may talk about obscure topics at length (without figuring out you're bored). He may be socially awkward with flirting, or randomly email you to ask you out (for a first date).

If he's an INFJ, he would be difficult to get to know, he would try not to upset you, he would try very very much to understand you and how you work (and he would do that to anyone he knows). He would seek harmony in all his relationships. He may stare in thought. He may appear sad, serious, or emotionless, but you know he is anything but.
See less See more
Ok. Thanks !

He's very hard to get to know. He puts a smiling face everywhere. But I am quite sure now, this smile doesn't represent who he is really.

He appears as a strong very manly man. But he seems to be very sensitive inside. He hides it to others.

One story on him :
I told him I like him for a few monthes. He told me he's not ready to move on. Needs time. Though he seems to think about it in private and still show signs of interest sometimes. Neverthless, when he greets me now (we don't see each other often... just sometimes within our common cercle of friends), he pays very much attention to come to me (can cross a room to greet me) and say hello, take the time to talk a little. Never ignored me or behaved like a jerk after I opened up to him. That sounds quite Fe to me.

After I opened up to him and he said he's not ready, he still suscribe to 2 social net where I suscribed to still get to know me a little. Then after 2 monthes he sent 1 text message for a movie. Then hold again a few weeks. Then send 1 other text message for one movie. And then no news... Again a little while. (but he was on long holidays)
See less See more
And he's extremly independant
Sounds fairly INFJ-ish but with a heavy burden of some kind, I think (from what you've said).
1 - 8 of 8 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.