Personality Cafe banner

1 - 12 of 12 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
17 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
It's so easy to find faults in others. Maybe its just because we are so good at observing and analyzing? Hmm just a thought? Oh and we do think before we speak which is good, it allows me to edit what I'm going to say to people. I notice strengths too so I try to focus on the strengths lol.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
946 Posts
I don't often focus on people's strengths or weaknesses, though I intuitively know what they are most of the time. Mainly it is because I'm more interested in my own strengths and weaknesses, and perfecting myself.

It seems a waste to spend my time and energy on issues you have no control over. You can't really change a person directly unless you have a good degree of leverage over them... and aside from mates and family, why would you even make the effort?

It's probably better to be a beacon of virtues (a loose term) than to run around criticizing, complimenting, or trying to control. If people do not have others to inspire them, it takes them longer to find what it makes to make them content and confident, as the inward search can be difficult. Leading by example is a strong catalyst for change.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
178 Posts
It's so easy to find faults in others. Maybe its just because we are so good at observing and analyzing? Hmm just a thought? Oh and we do think before we speak which is good, it allows me to edit what I'm going to say to people. I notice strengths too so I try to focus on the strengths lol.
Perhaps it is the optimist (deep down) in me, but I don't in notice people's 'faults' so much as the areas the areas where they might need a little advice. For example, I know someone who is a horrible procrastinator. But a quick analysis of their character and behavior revealed to me that they procrastinate because they are easily overwhelmed by the task at hand if it requires many steps, and are also perfectionist so they hesitate to begin so they don't fail. So their procrastination is not actually a fault, or at least I don't feel it's a fault, but an area that with a little advice, could easily be improved if not disappear entirely. However, I've learned to keep my analyses and suggestions to myself unless the person asks or directs the conversation in a manner where they would be helpful. There's too many hurt egos otherwise. (And only once in my life have I had someone sit down and say, "I want your honest opinion about my strengths and weaknesses" and mean it, I was in INTJ heaven and she was awed at how well I understood her). :tongue: When I do give critiques I try to put them in what my psych professor would call a 'nice sandwich' where you give the person a genuine compliment, the critique, and then another genuine compliment to soften the blow. That always works. :crazy: So I guess you could say in a way I'm critical, but living amongst humans has helped curb my criticism into more constructive and socially acceptable forms.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,260 Posts
It's so easy to find faults in others. Maybe its just because we are so good at observing and analyzing? Hmm just a thought? Oh and we do think before we speak which is good, it allows me to edit what I'm going to say to people. I notice strengths too so I try to focus on the strengths lol.
It's so easy to find faults in others. <assertion, needs support> Maybe it's <add apostrophe> because we are good <delete repetitious use of "so"> at observing and analyzing? Hmmm, <add comma for pause> just a thought. <delete question mark. you made a statement> Oh, <add comma for pause> and we do think before we speak, <add common for separate clause> which is good, because <insert transitional word> it allows me to edit what I'm going to say to people. I notice <other's?> strengths too, <insert comma> so I try to focus on their <pronoun consistency> strengths. <insert period> lol.

The post was also little short and needed more depth of thought.

Now, what were you asking?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,782 Posts
It's so easy to find faults in others. <assertion, needs support> Maybe it's <add apostrophe> because we are good <delete repetitious use of "so"> at observing and analyzing? Hmmm, <add comma for pause> just a thought. <delete question mark. you made a statement> Oh, <add comma for pause> and we do think before we speak, <add common for separate clause> which is good, because <insert transitional word> it allows me to edit what I'm going to say to people. I notice <other's?> strengths too, <insert comma> so I try to focus on their <pronoun consistency> strengths. <insert period> lol.

The post was also little short and needed more depth of thought.

Now, what were you asking?
This actually makes a point that I don't think was intended: that this is what our compulsive analyzing nature is for.
The point is not to rub it in their face, but to fix it for them. I don't mean fix their faults, but once you know what their faults are it is rather a simple matter to go behind and correct anything that could cause a problem.

For example: if two of my friends are conversing and due to their individual faults are headed toward a serious miscommunication, I step in and "correct" the statement that was about to be misinterpreted. This often results in a solution before the problem has even presented itself.

It is even said in many of the INTJ descriptions that we can often identify and correct potential problems before they become a more serious issue. It is within our nature to do this with human beings as well, we just have to get past our desire to actually "fix" the person.

There is nothing wrong with recognizing peoples faults, don't let non-INTJs tell you that. It's what you do with that information that proves better or worse for your existence, and the existence of those around you. Focus on preventing the problems, not fixing the faults.

If someone realizes you are trying to manipulate them into correcting a personal fault, all hell breaks loose. If they instead realize that you have been "covering" for their faults all this time, they are more likely to accept their own faults and try to change them. Thus ultimate goal achieved, INTJ harmony maintained.

(Of course all this is much easier to do with friends, family and the coworkers your actually like.)
 

·
Registered
INFP
Joined
·
1,300 Posts
Yes. I'm quite critical to others and I have high standards in most activity I engage in. I can't really tell you why since I'm not enough of an MBTI fanatic for that. I just kind of feel people's weakness and sometimes they bother me.

I'm mostly critical of myself though. Even when I get a grade I'm usually comfortable with (80-85%+), I seam to always want more. People always tell me you shouldn't be so hard on yourself.. What can I say? I'm not easily pleased.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
223 Posts
This is something I've begun to address with myself. I've noticed that I too am highly critical of other people, but at the same time, I am more accepting of people in general than a lot of people I know.

I'm learning that I tend to take a negative approach with people and situations in my life, and then I build up from there. Acknowledge the bad before moving up to the good.


There is nothing wrong with recognizing peoples faults, don't let non-INTJs tell you that. It's what you do with that information that proves better or worse for your existence, and the existence of those around you. Focus on preventing the problems, not fixing the faults.

^
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,860 Posts
Get out. We INTJs love everybody.

We nurture all points of view, and we believe that every idea is unique and special. Every single time we hear it again. Even if we have heard it 100 times.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,260 Posts
And yeah, I get the point.
I was really taking a swipe at myself. Please don't take the comment seriously...or anything that I typically post for that matter. Unless I'm being nice or complimentary. Then, you can take it seriously.
 
1 - 12 of 12 Posts
Top