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It is not a manipulation tactic. No smoke and mirrors involved. It is simply what you are left with when the smoke clears. You are replaceable, and so is she. If she is deluded to the point that she gives herself permission to try and control your life, it is your duty as her partner to snap her out of this delusion. And if that doesn't work, remember that she is replaceable and move on. Don't allow her to twist your words. If she believes you're belittling her by stating this fact, it's only because she got so full of herself she thought she was irreplaceable and the truth bomb just sent her world crashing down.

Don't believe women can't be manipulative. Almost every single human you ever meet will try to control and manipulate you in whatever capacity you allow them. For instance, you just manipulated my words to make me appear as though I'm for the belittling of people when in actuality I am for the empowerment of people who's boundaries are being violated by their deluded partner. This doesn't make you a bad person in my eyes. I doubt there was any malicious intent behind it. I imagine you were probably just trying to get me to think a little more like you by trying to make feel bad.
Did I say that? I know I didn't because it's not something I believe.

I didn't manipulate you. You might want to read back at what you said to realise what you actually said because you never mentioned "remind them that they are replaceable after they have proven to be manipulative themselves". You neglected this context so I was responding to your words with the context given. You made it seem like to do this to any partner to put them in their place regardless of if they "deserve" it.

That said though I kinda believe if you have gotten to the point where you are thinking "they are replaceable" then you should walk away for everyone's sake instead of staying in that relationship where you are miserable from their attempts to control you and your attempts to knock down their ego. It's a doomed relationship by that point.
 

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Keep your bathroom habits forever private.
 
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Did I say that? I know I didn't because it's not something I believe.

I didn't manipulate you. You might want to read back at what you said to realise what you actually said because you never mentioned "remind them that they are replaceable after they have proven to be manipulative themselves". You neglected this context so I was responding to your words with the context given. You made it seem like to do this to any partner to put them in their place regardless of if they "deserve" it.

That said though I kinda believe if you have gotten to the point where you are thinking "they are replaceable" then you should walk away for everyone's sake instead of staying in that relationship where you are miserable from their attempts to control you and your attempts to knock down their ego. It's a doomed relationship by that point.
So I noticed this with NIHM in another post. Do people that add meaning to your statements (changing them around) irk you? Do you think this could be an ENFP characteristic with wanting to control their own thought process? I'm just curious because I noticed it irks her greatly. But I've picked up on it with other ENFP posts too.
 

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Did I say that? I know I didn't because it's not something I believe.
I inferred it. Evidently I was wrong. Sorry.

I didn't manipulate you. You might want to read back at what you said to realise what you actually said because you never mentioned "remind them that they are replaceable after they have proven to be manipulative themselves". You neglected this context so I was responding to your words with the context given. You made it seem like to do this to any partner to put them in their place regardless of if they "deserve" it.
This is the post in question.

I see what you mean. Keeping someone in line is merely making sure they understand the boundaries and the consequences that come with crossing them. For example, making sure someone understands that trying to control your life is crossing a boundary and reminding them that they can be replaced, is a way to keep a partner with a penchant for control in line.
Please read it and tell me what part of this says I would do this to a partner who didn't cross a line.

That said though I kinda believe if you have gotten to the point where you are thinking "they are replaceable" then you should walk away for everyone's sake instead of staying in that relationship where you are miserable from their attempts to control you and your attempts to knock down their ego. It's a doomed relationship by that point.
That's insane. You're suggesting I should leave someone I love because I acknowledge the fact that they are replaceable. So if I won't buy into the delusion that there somehow aren't millions to billions of potential mates other the one I've chosen, for whatever reason I must walk away? Will this not hurt both me and my partner? How is this the best course of action for anyone? Did I say I was miserable because of this? No. The people I've been with are humans and it's not uncommon for people to try and cross lines. It's not a big deal to me. I check them. I reign their ego in when they get too full of themselves and boost it up when they feel small. I see it as my duty and expect the same from my partners. This isn't even limited to my romantic partners. I do this with my family and friends too.

We obviously have very different sets of values. Good news for the both of us is we don't share a relationship and don't need to agree on what's right.
 

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So I noticed this with NIHM in another post. Do people that add meaning to your statements (changing them around) irk you? Do you think this could be an ENFP characteristic with wanting to control their own thought process? I'm just curious because I noticed it irks her greatly. But I've picked up on it with other ENFP posts too.
 

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So I noticed this with NIHM in another post. Do people that add meaning to your statements (changing them around) irk you? Do you think this could be an ENFP characteristic with wanting to control their own thought process? I'm just curious because I noticed it irks her greatly. But I've picked up on it with other ENFP posts too.
Is this not something that bothers everyone? Being misunderstood? People assuming that you mean something that you don't mean and using that to inform how they communicate or act despite it being incorrect?

I am actually baffled by the idea that people are okay with their words being misrepresented.

Like maybe it's more strongly an ENFP thing because we have strong values and if someone assumes that our values aren't what they actually are then it is a direct attack of our character. We value authenticity.
 

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@ENFPathetic
I really have no interest in arguing with you further. It seems whatever I say it gets taken to another extreme that I don't mean and you seem pretty hurt so I'll just leave it at that.

And I'm sorry I misinterpreted your words.
 

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Is this not something that bothers everyone? Being misunderstood? People assuming that you mean something that you don't mean and using that to inform how they communicate or act despite it being incorrect?

I am actually baffled by the idea that people are okay with their words being misrepresented.

Like maybe it's more strongly an ENFP thing because we have strong values and if someone assumes that our values aren't what they actually are then it is a direct attack of our character. We value authenticity.
(I'm not sure about all INTJs) I don't become bothered by the miscommunication unless it becomes a repetitive task. If someone asks me if I'm upset and I state no, then I'm not upset. If someone asks me over and over again if I'm upset, then I become frustrated at the other person's inability to believe me and then will become upset. I first try to express if the intention of the other person was meant to be harmful.

I don't think either way is wrong or right.

I do admit one of the reasons I love my ENFP is her ability to love me for my authenticity and that she values my input and doesn't wish it to change. She was the first person outside of my family to treat me like a human being. I value the authentic approach that ENFPs have. I've never met any other ENFPs outside of her in my environment. It was a very refreshing quality.

I also think ENFPs have a strong sense of value on self-control and don't really like it when other's control them (bending their words). I noticed this behavior also in INFPs. It seems to be even stronger in INFPs. One INFP had an almost meltdown in the INTJ section because we were asking him to clarify his meaning.

 

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(I'm not sure about all INTJs) I don't become bothered by the miscommunication unless it becomes a repetitive task. If someone asks me if I'm upset and I state no, then I'm not upset. If someone asks me over and over again if I'm upset, then I become frustrated at the other person's inability to believe me and then will become upset. I first try to express if the intention of the other person was meant to be harmful.

I don't think either way is wrong or right.

I do admit one of the reasons I love my ENFP is her ability to love me for my authenticity and that she values my input and doesn't wish it to change. She was the first person outside of my family to treat me like a human being. I value the authentic approach that ENFPs have. I've never met any other ENFPs outside of her in my environment. It was a very refreshing quality.

I also think ENFPs have a strong sense of value on self-control and don't really like it when other's control them (bending their words). I noticed this behavior also in INFPs. It seems to be even stronger in INFPs. One INFP had an almost meltdown in the INTJ section because we were asking him to clarify his meaning.
Okay, you mention people asking if you are okay and you being fine is something I realise I might overreact to... Like overreacting to people assuming my morals are something else seems completely reasonable. As you can tell with the conversation with ENFPathetic where we were both doing that to one another. :p

But I have one particular friend who asks me "is something wrong?" and it kind of feels intrusive? Offensive? I don't know what word to use to describe it... I might have less patience with this one particular friend though as he does this a lot. I think after knowing me for so long and what I would say was fairly intimately I kind of would have hoped that when he suspects something is wrong then he should be on the mark with it. But he's not. I guess it also upsets me the idea that I might be projecting a vibe that isn't me? Not something to be angry with them about but it's distressing... maybe I have unresolved emotions that I haven't noticed, I like to think I am aware of my emotions though.

I guess another layer of why it upsets me is because I think he asks these questions because I haven't jumped through the appropriate hoops of being a good dedicated friend like messaging him online as soon as he does... I think I'm getting off topic...

Most of the time I don't like when people infer that I am feeling something or believe something because it feels manipulative as if just telling me that I am feeling or believing something would make it true.

I don't think this is a common occurrence though. I think most of the time my messages aren't misconstrued and people can read my emotions well enough so that when it does happen it's more hurtful? When my messages are misconstrued it's mostly a fight or flight response...

 

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@ENFPathetic
I really have no interest in arguing with you further. It seems whatever I say it gets taken to another extreme that I don't mean and you seem pretty hurt so I'll just leave it at that.

And I'm sorry I misinterpreted your words.
You're alright man. Like I said before, I don't think you have any malice in mind. Almost everyone likes to manipulate whatever they can get away with manipulating. It's almost instinctive. I'm glad you understand you were wrong and now you know where the line is in the sand. Peace.
 
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