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I don’t believe in love; the definitions tend to be very vague and inaccurate and there are several types of love. Love is a very abstract and intangible concept to grasp. What is this love that humans speak of? You can go to any dictionary or encyclopedia to look up a definition, but what is it really? This is very complicated to explain mostly due to the fact of having a different type of love for different types of people, you can even use this term of love to describe objects like cheese, pizza, smoothies, etc. Is there anything wrong with avoiding that word completely and using the words "like" and "tolerate"?

I used the classic dictionary.com for my definitions. What do you think love is? How would you experience this state of being called love? It could be an imaginative state that needy people use to cling to each other. I am puzzled and baffled by this concept called love. By the way, the song What Is Love by Haddaway fits perfectly here when trying to figure it out.
 

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I don't "know" what love is. I only know what it isn't.

many words are like this, i just don't know what they are or "mean". so i have to define them by what they clearly are not.

"happiness" is another one of these words, for instance. what does that mean? the answer is elusive.

words should mean the same thing to everyone (at least in context), right?
 

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An INTJ explained this recently: (Sorry to INTJ, I don't know who it was, but I saved this quote because it was truly beautiful.

Love isn’t just Oxytocin, sex isn’t just Dopamine, beauty isn’t just symmetry, thoughts are not just electrical signals, behaviour isn’t just a stimulus-response process, speaking isn’t just generating soundwaves, etc etc.
Love isn’t just sex, sex isn’t just hormones. Love is both a complex emotion as well as a cultural concept.

Love is a feeling that has to be be consciously interpreted and put in context of a social reality. Love is a word/term/signifier (if you go with semiotics) that conveys multiple meanings in intellectual discourses. Love is a collective name that implies other social concepts like trust, passion, faith, loyalty, altruism, security, all of them beeing conglomerates of subterms as well that are defined within a certain cultural context.

Without the willingness to understand these contexts you’re flying blind, relying on tautological interpretations of reality that seem to be correct because they’re easy to understand and logically correct (but also meaningless). It is a rather poor view of reality to imagine your own little interpretation to be the reality (for there is no such thing). Don’t limit yourself with this kindergarden-philosophy.
:proud:

Personally for me; Love is synergy; both people working as one being bigger than the sum of its parts.
It's the thought of putting someone else as a higher priority than myself. Giving to them at a cost to me, and doing it willingly without guarantee of getting it back. Giving to give. Loving to love, without strings.

Love means feeling sick and saddened to hurt that person or to thwart their development. Love means personal sacrifice; doing what is right for them over what I want. Love to me, is wanting to be lost in that person and connected to them on the deepest level possible in a private little sanctuary that the rest of the world is not privy to. Wanting to "let them in to my world" and see vulnerabilites, to connect with their vulnerabilities and share them as one. Love means to be accepted with flaws, and loved anyway. Love means taking the risk with the knowledge that they will likely wound me so deeply that it makes my soul ache, but doing it anyway because the moments of blissful deep connection are a necessary and achingly beautiful part of the human experience.

Sigh. Now I'm all emotional :) Love is so beautiful. (Ignore my signature. I'm jaded sometimes).
 

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As I don't really know anything about the subject other than a lot of people like using the word and sometimes want me to use the word, even they themselves use the word without meaning it. I find it dishonest for me to use the word. So instead I decided to post a music video that I "love":


Other "INTJs", please stop pretending to be robots on forums; real INTJs have the same emotions as other types, we feel the same as you, we just don't work well under the influence of emotions, gut feelings and instincts.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/No_true_Scotsman
 

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An INTJ explained this recently: (Sorry to INTJ, I don't know who it was, but I saved this quote because it was truly beautiful.



:proud:

Personally for me; Love is synergy; both people working as one being bigger than the sum of its parts.
It's the thought of putting someone else as a higher priority than myself. Giving to them at a cost to me, and doing it willingly without guarantee of getting it back. Giving to give. Loving to love, without strings.

Love means feeling sick and saddened to hurt that person or to thwart their development. Love means personal sacrifice; doing what is right for them over what I want. Love to me, is wanting to be lost in that person and connected to them on the deepest level possible in a private little sanctuary that the rest of the world is not privy to. Wanting to "let them in to my world" and see vulnerabilites, to connect with their vulnerabilities and share them as one. Love means to be accepted with flaws, and loved anyway. Love means taking the risk with the knowledge that they will likely wound me so deeply that it makes my soul ache, but doing it anyway because the moments of blissful deep connection are a necessary and achingly beautiful part of the human experience.

Sigh. Now I'm all emotional :) Love is so beautiful. (Ignore my signature. I'm jaded sometimes).
It was @Gilgamesh

http://personalitycafe.com/intj-forum-scientists/149191-why-do-intjs-know-everything-except-how-get-girls-12.html#post3848801
 

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I think INTJs have the best personality in order to comprehend the concept of love. Being deep thinkers and having Ni as the dominant function gives us a huge advantage when trying to understand the scope of what love is to anyone who is Si or Se, love is a four letter word that is simply proven or disproved by specific interactions between people places and things based on their observations of goings on on the TV or out in society. To Ni types, love isn't something we experience from outside influence, it's something that derives from deep within our psyche. And abstract and conceptual are what INTJ types do (probably) better than any other type.

If you want me to define and explain it, I'll give it a shot:
Since perception is reality, we have to accept that other people experience reality and therefore everything around them and every concept in their heads differently from us. This includes love. So love can first be defined as a broad notion of sorts. So can hatred and sadness or even shame or humility. Since love is so vague and depends on our sense of reality, it is whatever we define it as. So lets say you call it complex and abstract; a feeling type might call its functions simple to understand. But the real notion here is that we take these simple yet hard to define four letter words and we blow them up for examination and therefore you want me to put some value to it so you can either use it or prove it does not exist. Since our realities are all different, if you think it does not exist, it does not. If you are trying to disprove it's existence, you have already accepted that it exists and are trying to deny it passage through your life, to control it or deny it, but if you do these things, fact is that for your reality, it does exist because you are denying it passage. In many people's version of reality, where love exists that is, love causes problems. The realization of these problems promotes denial of their existence and that is most likely what you are experiencing. One such problem is that we define it differently from one another which causes inevitable interpersonal issues. One poem speaks to one, but not the other and the other, not being in sync is often shamed for it. The shame causes resentment and the differences of the people cause a divide. In my reality, love is the ability to overcome the divide caused by it's definition because of tolerance to another entity. For instance, my dog thought I would love for him to pee on the floor. I couldn't tolerate the behaviour and didn't accept it as love; I corrected it; the dog may have resented my correction but has accepted me after the correction and carries on like it didn't happen. That is what I think love is.
 

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Oh and I wanted to reiterate, INTJs are better suited to understanding a concept like love than other types because we are deep thinkers who focus on abstract and complex notions.

Other "INTJs", please stop pretending to be robots on forums; real INTJs have the same emotions as other types, we feel the same as you, we just don't work well under the influence of emotions, gut feelings and instincts. perpetuating the robot stereotype is like visiting the INFJ forum and telling them that they're all devoid of intellect.
 

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As I don't really know anything about the subject other than a lot of people like using the word and sometimes want me to use the word, even they themselves use the word without meaning it. I find it dishonest for me to use the word. So instead I decided to post a music video that I "love":

Awwwwwwwwwwwwww beat me to it! :frustrating:
 

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In my honest opinion, this is a better version for our understanding:


Other "INTJs", please stop pretending to be robots on forums; real INTJs have the same emotions as other types, we feel the same as you, we just don't work well under the influence of emotions, gut feelings and instincts.
Shush! Do you want to wake everyone?
 

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Love is a biological function. It's not a mystery, science defined it a long time ago.

Other "INTJs", please stop pretending to be robots on forums; real INTJs have the same emotions as other types, we feel the same as you
Of course we have the same emotions. We are just able to see the real aspects of situations and not let the emotional bullshit make us ignore reality and start spewing off bullshit that has no basis, such as saying "love is vague" and "it is different for different people", when it's neither vague nor different for different people. It can be measured in fucking hormones and neurotransmitters and is repeatable. Love isn't some "magical" bullshit like the idea of "god". Love is real and science has been able to explain it for a very long time, unlike the idea of "god", which IS a undefinable because it's all made up and baseless.

Also of note is that you can see I have emotions and am not a robot by my swearing at the ridiculous b.s. of your post.
 

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As I don't really know anything about the subject other than a lot of people like using the word and sometimes want me to use the word, even they themselves use the word without meaning it. I find it dishonest for me to use the word. So instead I decided to post a music video that I "love":

I knew that someone would post this video! :D
 

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Discussion Starter #14
Difference between what is love and how love works.

Oh and I wanted to reiterate, INTJs are better suited to understanding a concept like love than other types because we are deep thinkers who focus on abstract and complex notions.

Other "INTJs", please stop pretending to be robots on forums; real INTJs have the same emotions as other types, we feel the same as you, we just don't work well under the influence of emotions, gut feelings and instincts. perpetuating the robot stereotype is like visiting the INFJ forum and telling them that they're all devoid of intellect.

There is a huge difference between what is love and how love functions. It's like the difference between knowing how an internal combustion engine works and building a car. In theory, it is simpler to understanding how we have dopamine and serotonin affecting pleasure centers of the brain and oxytocin and vasopressin for attachment to certain people. It's a human drive similar to hunger and thirst.

It seems that in order to feel love, one must think less, but it is not good to be burdened by an overwhelming amount of feelings. Other types do seem to be burdened by too many feelings and does allow them to think things through.
 

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I don’t believe in love; the definitions tend to be very vague and inaccurate and there are several types of love. Love is a very abstract and intangible concept to grasp. What is this love that humans speak of? You can go to any dictionary or encyclopedia to look up a definition, but what is it really? This is very complicated to explain mostly due to the fact of having a different type of love for different types of people, you can even use this term of love to describe objects like cheese, pizza, smoothies, etc. Is there anything wrong with avoiding that word completely and using the words "like" and "tolerate"?

I used the classic dictionary.com for my definitions. What do you think love is? How would you experience this state of being called love? It could be an imaginative state that needy people use to cling to each other. I am puzzled and baffled by this concept called love. By the way, the song What Is Love by Haddaway fits perfectly here when trying to figure it out.
 

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What matters here is a sense of honest care for another person for no reason other than the care itself. It isn't about me anymore, it's about you, and only you.

So, love schmove, what the fuck is that? There's always a string attached, and the only person anyone cares about anymore is "me." You're always someone else's ploy to some extent, so you have to learn to live without it.
 

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Is there anything wrong with avoiding that word completely and using the words "like" and "tolerate"?
I certainly wouldn't use the word Tolerate. "I've been working up the courage to say this for a really long time...I...tolerate you" Usually toleration implies a certain distaste for that person. It's usually used in the context of something that's annoying but bearable. I've always said that people should use the word infatuation when in the early stages of a relationship rather than jumping on the silly "I'm in love". Would Affection work better for you or would that still be too vague of a term?
 

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Discussion Starter #18
I certainly wouldn't use the word Tolerate. "I've been working up the courage to say this for a really long time...I...tolerate you" Usually toleration implies a certain distaste for that person. It's usually used in the context of something that's annoying but bearable. I've always said that people should use the word infatuation when in the early stages of a relationship rather than jumping on the silly "I'm in love". Would Affection work better for you or would that still be too vague of a term?

I tolerate your imperfections. I like your perfections. It has a nice ring to it. Love is called the L-Bomb for a reason; it is overused. Example: I love cheese, I love rock and roll, I love attending concerts, I love being independent. Then you say the same thing to a person. I love you (like cheese); it sounds meaningless. I don't like dropping the L-Bomb on anybody. It's better to use variations of the world "like". I like you, I like being around you, I like you a lot, I like you by my side, I don't want to live without you by my side. There are better ways to express yourself than dropping the L-Bomb.
 

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I tolerate your imperfections. I like your perfections. It has a nice ring to it. Love is called the L-Bomb for a reason; it is overused. Example: I love cheese, I love rock and roll, I love attending concerts, I love being independent. Then you say the same thing to a person. I love you (like cheese); it sounds meaningless. I don't like dropping the L-Bomb on anybody. It's better to use variations of the world "like". I like you, I like being around you, I like you a lot, I like you by my side, I don't want to live without you by my side. There are better ways to express yourself than dropping the L-Bomb.
Most people who use the word "Love" typically miss the persons imperfections. In the case of it being overused for material things like cheese is accurate. Even the word 'like' is overused. Should people say "I love cheese" then turn around to someone that they've been married to for 10 years and say "I like you"? Isn't it better to advocate people to reserve the word love rather than encouraging them to use the word like? Even some of the phrases you used like "I don't want to live without you by my side" are cliché and overused.
 

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Discussion Starter #20
Most people who use the word "Love" typically miss the persons imperfections. In the case of it being overused for material things like cheese is accurate. Even the word 'like' is overused. Should people say "I love cheese" then turn around to someone that they've been married to for 10 years and say "I like you"? Isn't it better to advocate people to reserve the word love rather than encouraging them to use the word like? Even some of the phrases you used like "I don't want to live without you by my side" are cliché and overused.

You can not miss somebody unless they leave. If they never leave, you will never know how much you miss them. You might just notice, there is nobody beside me in bed or you might be completely helpless without that other person. For example if somebody could not find their ass with two hands and an ass map, that would elude severe dependence on somebody else, that is just an exaggeration. One should be more descriptive to what they missed; did they just miss the person's presence, or they missed have intercourse with the person, or did they miss the person's cooking, or did they miss everything about that person to the point that nobody could ever replace that person.
 
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