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Discussion Starter #1
A question to you, ENFJ colleagues.
I always fall in love with ENFJ women, but they end up liking me just like a friend. Any idea why this happens? Some behavor of the INTJ's that can prevent a woman from like an INTJ ?
 

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It's simple really. ENFJs have a leade judgement function and INTJs have a lead perception function. That puts 2 hypothetical individuals with those types in two different worlds. That's not even mentioning the Fe vs Fi clash that is inevitable. INTJs focusing more on logic while ENFJs focus on ethics. To be ethical one cannot always be logical and to be logical one cannot always be ethical. We are talking about fundamental differences in way of these 2 individual's cognition works.

The main similarity between the types would be the perception functions Ni/Se. INTJs are Ni doms and ENFJs are Ni aux however from my observations on the sub forum many ENFJs actively try to stay out of their heads which means they usually have fun by engaging that tertiary Se. The weakness of Ni doms is the inferior Se. This will undoubtedly lead to situations where the ENFJ will be out and about engaging the environment while the INTJ will burn out from it all. Need to retreat to the inner world engaging the Ni.

So like with any relationship there are some hurdles but what I explained above is likely why an INTJ would be placed in the friend zone imo
 

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A question to you, ENFJ colleagues.
I always fall in love with ENFJ women, but they end up liking me just like a friend. Any idea why this happens? Some behavor of the INTJ's that can prevent a woman from like an INTJ ?
I like intj, my older brother is intj and he's closer to me than everyone else in the family.

The reasons I would like a good guy as only a friend:
1.) Lack of compatibility.
2.) Lack of chemistry physically, emotionally, intellectually.
3.) Unable to keep my interest (boring)


I cant explain why an ENFJ girl wouldn't like you cause I've heard it can be a good match with INTJ. Maybe you just havent found the right one yet.

The only thing I can think of is to ask you how melancholy you are?
 

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Discussion Starter #4
I like intj, my older brother is intj and he's closer to me than everyone else in the family.

The reasons I would like a good guy as only a friend:
1.) Lack of compatibility.
2.) Lack of chemistry physically, emotionally, intellectually.
3.) Unable to keep my interest (boring)


I cant explain why an ENFJ girl wouldn't like you cause I've heard it can be a good match with INTJ. Maybe you just havent found the right one yet.

The only thing I can think of is to ask you how melancholy you are?
Hummmmm...
It's make lots of sense...

I'm just a little melancholy, in my point of view, maybe this is the problem... the melancholy...
 

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Discussion Starter #5
It's simple really. ENFJs have a leade judgement function and INTJs have a lead perception function. That puts 2 hypothetical individuals with those types in two different worlds. That's not even mentioning the Fe vs Fi clash that is inevitable. INTJs focusing more on logic while ENFJs focus on ethics. To be ethical one cannot always be logical and to be logical one cannot always be ethical. We are talking about fundamental differences in way of these 2 individual's cognition works.

The main similarity between the types would be the perception functions Ni/Se. INTJs are Ni doms and ENFJs are Ni aux however from my observations on the sub forum many ENFJs actively try to stay out of their heads which means they usually have fun by engaging that tertiary Se. The weakness of Ni doms is the inferior Se. This will undoubtedly lead to situations where the ENFJ will be out and about engaging the environment while the INTJ will burn out from it all. Need to retreat to the inner world engaging the Ni.

So like with any relationship there are some hurdles but what I explained above is likely why an INTJ would be placed in the friend zone imo
The Judgment function is a great difference... this is don't disturb me, but I don't known about the others...
 

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The Judgment function is a great difference... this is don't disturb me, but I don't known about the others...
It all boils down to personal preferences for romantic relationships. It's a bunch of give and take. You have the ideal women in your head and she has the ideal man in her head. These "ideals" do not exist as they are 100% fictional/fantasies. Honesty you probably aren't what they are looking for in a romantic relationship for whatever reason...and that's ok. Don't know where you are from but here in America women can have PRETTY high standards based on arbitrary traits of their "ideal" man.

In your case I would examine why you fall for ENFJ women. What is it that they do? What is their "perceived value" to you? Once you find that out then you will narrow what trait(s) you are looking for in a woman. That's what I would do if I were dating with my current mindset.
 

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INTJs make feel lonely :sad:

I was watching Blade Runner 2049 and just thinking, oh this is just an INTJ's wet dream innit? ....Hmm, when does it end.....

Great working relationship, unfortunately lacking color. But Ni on Ni action can always be fun, mind. When I do love INTJs it's when they're feisty. Also when they designed my car.
 

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Discussion Starter #8
It all boils down to personal preferences for romantic relationships. It's a bunch of give and take. You have the ideal women in your head and she has the ideal man in her head. These "ideals" do not exist as they are 100% fictional/fantasies. Honesty you probably aren't what they are looking for in a romantic relationship for whatever reason...and that's ok. Don't know where you are from but here in America women can have PRETTY high standards based on arbitrary traits of their "ideal" man.

In your case I would examine why you fall for ENFJ women. What is it that they do? What is their "perceived value" to you? Once you find that out then you will narrow what trait(s) you are looking for in a woman. That's what I would do if I were dating with my current mindset.
I understand and agree with you about relationships. It's a bunch of giving and take.
I'm from Brazil...

I fall for ENFJ basically by the charisma: In the genuine interest of people. The way they use to be caring about people, and the way they show their feelings without appearing weak...
 

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Discussion Starter #9
INTJs make feel lonely :sad:

I was watching Blade Runner 2049 and just thinking, oh this is just an INTJ's wet dream innit? ....Hmm, when does it end.....

Great working relationship, unfortunately lacking color. But Ni on Ni action can always be fun, mind. When I do love INTJs it's when they're feisty. Also when they designed my car.
LOL. The steriotype of a INTJ is really not good. But I'm not boring and senseless, I'm just a original and logical, sometimes I really don't known what people are feeling. I'm not cold, and I struggle to show my emotions... and I can :)
 

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Most ENFJs I know dislike being told what to do and what to think...

Not saying you do this but I know many TJs who often tell me what to do or think and it grates on Fe dom and the need for harmony - mixed with the ennea type need for autonomy. Would depend partly on their enneagram type also, but many are 8s and that would be even more of an issue for them.

ENFJs also can be pretty sensitive to criticism and can take objective criticism the wrong way totally, so another thing Te could do is ask permission to give a suggestion first so the ENFJ is open to it.
 

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Discussion Starter #11
Most ENFJs I know dislike being told what to do and what to think...

Not saying you do this but I know many TJs who often tell me what to do or think and it grates on Fe dom and the need for harmony - mixed with the ennea type need for autonomy. Would depend partly on their enneagram type also, but many are 8s and that would be even more of an issue for them.

ENFJs also can be pretty sensitive to criticism and can take objective criticism the wrong way totally, so another thing Te could do is ask permission to give a suggestion first so the ENFJ is open to it.
Maybe this is my problem: I'm not asking for permission to give a suggestion, I try to help in the wrong way...
 
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