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Do you think there is any way I can find out if he actually likes me or not? Without having to flat out ask him?
Ask him out (just the two of you), maybe dinner or something like that where you'll have an hour or two of somewhat uninterrupted time. When I was younger I used to do the subtle hints like staying to walk with people I was interested in, then when it seemed like they weren't returning the interest I moved on. I got much less subtle as I got older and it became obvious that wasn't such a good plan. One way or another you should get your answer, if he's interested he'll find a way to make time with you, if he's not he'll find excuses why he's busy for the next month.
 

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Ask him out (just the two of you), maybe dinner or something like that where you'll have an hour or two of somewhat uninterrupted time. When I was younger I used to do the subtle hints like staying to walk with people I was interested in, then when it seemed like they weren't returning the interest I moved on. I got much less subtle as I got older and it became obvious that wasn't such a good plan. One way or another you should get your answer, if he's interested he'll find a way to make time with you, if he's not he'll find excuses why he's busy for the next month.

Read ad the whole thread, silly. She has given updates.
 

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Read ad the whole thread, silly. She has given updates.
I did. He isn't paying a lot of attention to her after the initial attention he gave but in my mind and experience that doesn't necessarily mean he isn't still interested. He could have backed off thinking she wasn't interested if she didn't make any moves toward a more intimate relationship, I'm thinking he was testing the waters before jumping in. He isn't giving her the cold shoulder and is even warning off stalkers for her.

She probably needs to make the first move if she wants a relationship at this point. Not sure if it will work out or not and it is possible he saw something that made him back off a relationship, but until one of them makes a more aggressive move it probably isn't going anywhere anyway so I don't see that she has much to lose at this point.
 

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Do you think there is any way I can find out if he actually likes me or not? Without having to flat out ask him?
I did. He isn't paying a lot of attention to her after the initial attention he gave but in my mind and experience that doesn't necessarily mean he isn't still interested. He could have backed off thinking she wasn't interested if she didn't make any moves toward a more intimate relationship, I'm thinking he was testing the waters before jumping in. He isn't giving her the cold shoulder and is even warning off stalkers for her.

She probably needs to make the first move if she wants a relationship at this point. Not sure if it will work out or not and it is possible he saw something that made him back off a relationship, but until one of them makes a more aggressive move it probably isn't going anywhere anyway so I don't see that she has much to lose at this point.
Well , lets see, If it were me ( which means i am not sure if this is gonna work ) , and if i kind of liked someone appearance , and I had decided to lay low with her for the time being and Assuming the reason why it happen was because she didn't fit in some of my criteria ( Yes that's a lots of IF , but there is not enough information for me to dwell on here ) I would be interested if the following happen :
1- She also lay a little low ,
2- Little by Little "I" find out she has some good talents which fits my criteria , i.e. "intelligence" , "warmth" .. etc.
3- I will try approaching very limited

here is your chance to slowly build on that.
though these are all my opinion.
 

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What do you guys looks for in a girlfriend? Like, what is your 'criteria'. I swear I'm not being conceded or anything but a lot of people thing I'm really beautiful, and I thought it wouuld play a role but it seems as though it doesn't at allll.
On can only hope it doesn't matter too much...

Directly tell him you think he is interesting and would like to get to know him better. Don't be intense and creepy, keep it light cute and friendly. <--- non threatening way to say hey I kinda like you. What exactly are you going to lose? If you never say anything and keep trying to pursue him from afar that probably isn't going to work out in your favor.
 

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I did. He isn't paying a lot of attention to her after the initial attention he gave but in my mind and experience that doesn't necessarily mean he isn't still interested. He could have backed off thinking she wasn't interested if she didn't make any moves toward a more intimate relationship, I'm thinking he was testing the waters before jumping in. He isn't giving her the cold shoulder and is even warning off stalkers for her.

She probably needs to make the first move if she wants a relationship at this point. Not sure if it will work out or not and it is possible he saw something that made him back off a relationship, but until one of them makes a more aggressive move it probably isn't going anywhere anyway so I don't see that she has much to lose at this point.
I second this. I have liked girls in the past and backed off completely for various reasons but that didn't mean that I didn't like them still. Personally I've thought that I showed someone I was interested and when they didn't make a move in return I backed off because I wanted to get rid of my feelings and my damn near crippling ability to have my thoughts consumed by the matter. Had they made a move after that I'm sure I would've still been interested.

If I were her I would just be straightforward and say how she felt, and even if he didn't feel the same I think he could still be friends without it being weird. One thing to note tho is to give him time to process all the developments after you tell him. Whether he likes you or not his head will be spinning and need some alone time to think.
 

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Discussion Starter #28
You guys are right, I think the past week has proven that he definitely likes me, he just doesn't know that I like him back; though I feel like I look pretty obvious. He mentioned the other day that he has so much respect in me and admires me a lot. He even said that he's not used to this (opening up). He says that he has this gut feeling that says he should trust me and another gut feeling that scares him. Yesterday we spent an hour and a half talking in the parking without even realizing how fast the time went by. What makes the intj-esfj relationship so hard?
 

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You guys are right, I think the past week has proven that he definitely likes me, he just doesn't know that I like him back; though I feel like I look pretty obvious. He mentioned the other day that he has so much respect in me and admires me a lot. He even said that he's not used to this (opening up). He says that he has this gut feeling that says he should trust me and another gut feeling that scares him. Yesterday we spent an hour and a half talking in the parking without even realizing how fast the time went by. What makes the intj-esfj relationship so hard?
I don't know that it is necessarily a hard relationship. Just be aware of the differences. Here is some good material.

https://www.personalitypage.com/INTJ_rel.html
https://www.personalitypage.com/ESFJ_rel.html

One thing I would point out is that a lot of INTJ's don't usually have problems with conflict and see it as a way to work things through, while a lot of ESFJ's will have problems with this. Don't be afraid to voice your opinion on things, your INTJ will appreciate it but will likely push back if they have other opinions and will expect you to stand behind your opinion if you feel strongly about it or come to a compromise.
 
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