Personality Cafe banner
1 - 20 of 52 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
363 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Though typing people can lead to many generalizations, what's the experiences here of those who identify as INTJs or INTPs getting along with one another? Is there good chemistry, or do you believe there can be too many conflicts of interest?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
171 Posts
One of my friends is an INTP, and we get along pretty well most of the time. Although our similar rational temperaments and interests are obvious, our differences are no less noticeable. My friends much more laid back than I am and although he's very logical like me, he's more freewheeling and go with the flow while I rely much more on planning and organizing. Neither or us are dramatic or emotional types, so the closest we really get to arguing might be a drawn out debate. Contention between us, when it does happen, usually results when I get really annoyed at his laziness and how obstinate and unconcerned he can be about finishing things or making even SIMPLE changes or improvements to things he does or his life in general.

For INTP-INTJ dynamics in general, your mileage may vary as usual. I would say though that its more likely to work well since both types are rational and logical by nature and generally like investigation or learning things. I would expect the main issue between these types to be their differing approach to life. The INTP being less concerned about finishing things and doing things for their own sake and the INTJ having much more a need to channel their discoveries and curiosity towards a goal or vision. To note this difference between me and my friend, there are many times I want to grab him by the collar and scream to his face, "show some resolve dammit" when there are clearly ways he can better get closer to what he wants but doesn't take any initiative to do so.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
288 Posts
To note this difference between me and my friend, there are many times I want to grab him by the collar and scream to his face, "show some resolve dammit" when there are clearly ways he can better get closer to what he wants but doesn't take any initiative to do so.
I actually gained my organizational skills by observing an INTJ and how he worked. Of course, this was after he basically blew up on me about my lack of concern for following through with things. It was pretty scary... not to mention RUDE, but I knew he just got so angry because he actually cared and saw that the root of my issues was my lack of planning ahead.

Generally speaking, I feel like INTP's have a lot to learn from INTJ's. But I think it's more of a one sided relationship when it comes to that. I have nothing practical and concrete to offer them, besides my presence and ideas. Which is great because they just like to mind splurge all over me anyway, and I enjoy that, because I do the same with them. :kitteh:

Maybe you'd be doing your friend a favor if you took him by the collar, but then again maybe not...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,908 Posts
I've been in a relationship with an INTJ for two years now, and we've been living in the same house for one. So you could say that we know each other well enough, better than we would if we were just friends for ten years (since INTJs don't usually open up to friends). I should also mention that we're in our mid-twenties.

There is good chemistry in a sense, but there's also a lot of conflict. We're very comfortable with each other and we make a great couple. Living together is pretty easy, we have no problems when it comes to living arrangements and stuff. And we solve practical matters like a boss.

I can't deny though that our relationship can get heated at times. We argue a lot, usually initiated by my part. Basically, the INTP nags all the time and the INTJ is usually busy doing his stuff. (Don't know if this is related at all to female/male brain). The sure thing is that if both parts speak openly, there should be some differences and tension due to lack of understanding and whatnot. Communication is not ideal, lots of misunderstandings happen.

However, I wouldn't trade this guy for any other guy. The bond is very stong, we are commited and we're progressing together. He is definitely helping me become better at stuff I wasn't naturally good at. I've learned a lot from him that I can't begin to list. I'm also teaching him stuff like "it's not ok to leave your girlfriend locked outside the house". Taking it slow. I don't want to make this post 50 pages long, I'll contain myself.
 

·
Jaffa Master
Joined
·
7,575 Posts
Though typing people can lead to many generalizations, what's the experiences here of those who identify as INTJs or INTPs getting along with one another? Is there good chemistry, or do you believe there can be too many conflicts of interest?
Haven't met any INTPs that I didn't conflict with in one way or another to the point where it drove me away. The good conversations that there can be aren't enough to make up for all of the other things.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Gr8ful

·
Banned
Joined
·
3,255 Posts
I'm with Jeb, there are two personality types I have real difficulty with INTP & ENFP. Even though many other INTJs find them wonderful I always find them difficult. If I'm being immersed in Ne, I really need it coupled with Fi not Ti in order to get along with it. And for some reason I just hate the Ni-Fi combo altogether, it comes across as all kinds of bitchy to me. So my experience of INTPs is that although they have interesting things to say, I invariably end up pissed off with them in quick order. And I can't even articulate why, but if another thinker is rubbing me up the wrong way, chances are excellent they are INTP.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,168 Posts
I'm with Jeb, there are two personality types I have real difficulty with INTP & ENFP. Even though many other INTJs find them wonderful I always find them difficult. If I'm being immersed in Ne, I really need it coupled with Fi not Ti in order to get along with it. And for some reason I just hate the Ni-Fi combo altogether, it comes across as all kinds of bitchy to me. So my experience of INTPs is that although they have interesting things to say, I invariably end up pissed off with them in quick order. And I can't even articulate why, but if another thinker is rubbing me up the wrong way, chances are excellent they are INTP.
I also tend to have issues with INTPs, but I am confused here about who you are describing. Who are the Ni-Fi users? In the Myers Briggs system, INTPs use Ti Ne Si Fe and ENFPs use Ne Fi Te Si.

It's the INTJs that have the Ni-Fi combo - Ni Te Fi Se. Or did I totally misunderstand your post?
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
3,255 Posts
I also tend to have issues with INTPs, but I am confused here about who you are describing. Who are the Ni-Fi users? In the Myers Briggs system, INTPs use Ti Ne Si Fe and ENFPs use Ne Fi Te Si.

It's the INTJs that have the Ni-Fi combo - Ni Te Fi Se. Or did I totally misunderstand your post?
My typo and being super tired. Trying to think of too many things at once. I mean I can get along with the Ne in INFPs but not in INTPs or ENFPs. Sound better? It feels like this to me....

INFP making unexpected connections --> funny.
INTP making unexpected connections --> irritating
ENFP making unexpected connections --> manipulative
 

·
Administrator
Joined
·
23,657 Posts
I grew up with INTPs. No dramas. If you figure when INTPs are upset (it isn't hard to tell) then you either make yourself scarce or you get them laughing. I've found the ones in my life very loyal and very quick/smart and have very detailed memories of stuff you've long forgotten. This is very handy when taking them grocery shopping.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
363 Posts
Discussion Starter · #10 ·
@InSolitude When people piss me off I just think they're dicks, then I eat a muffin. I'm not sure if that's related to any type, but if pushed far enough I call someone out on it and tell them they're this or that, getting off on it the more pissed off they seem, but again only if they're being those assholes who think they're better than others and whisper to people with giggles, all too common among even "men" nowadays(my mom always told me whispering means someone's being a two faced arse.) I briefly put up INTJ as my type because I honestly relate more to INTJs, and I was bored so decided it was an excuse to click a bunch of buttons. I thought about setting it as INFJ(though I have never tested as a Feeler on ANY self test.) Idk I don't take this stuff very seriously I only care about how neurons interact and think people in general are weirdos, but I seem to be most chill with self identified INTJs on this thing. If that says I am INTJ? I do not know. I do know I like muffins. And I am a sarcastic dick. And I like muffins. And you :p
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
363 Posts
Discussion Starter · #12 ·
@Nastorm Um, he leaves you locked outside the house? I would do that to a girlfriend, during the day if it's very warm as a prank, because as one of my exes noted, I am an immature asshat, but, I have no idea of the context with what you mentioned. I hope it wasn't on purpose or out of malice, if it was, that is NOT a good relationship.
 

·
Registered
ILI
Joined
·
5,652 Posts
I actually gained my organizational skills by observing an INTJ and how he worked. Of course, this was after he basically blew up on me about my lack of concern for following through with things. It was pretty scary... not to mention RUDE, but I knew he just got so angry because he actually cared and saw that the root of my issues was my lack of planning ahead.

Generally speaking, I feel like INTP's have a lot to learn from INTJ's. But I think it's more of a one sided relationship when it comes to that. I have nothing practical and concrete to offer them, besides my presence and ideas. Which is great because they just like to mind splurge all over me anyway, and I enjoy that, because I do the same with them. :kitteh:

Maybe you'd be doing your friend a favor if you took him by the collar, but then again maybe not...
This is so not true. Ti doms have such in-depth understanding of things that Te preferrers never even stop to think about. You have way more to offer than you realize! That is, if the INTJ will stop and listen to you. (good luck honestly. In my experience, it's usually more annoying than interesting. But. still. It's something to offer if the INTJ will hear it).

ENFP making unexpected connections --> manipulative
Hm. I don't want to say that you're wrong, but I'm just struggling to see this one at all. Are you sure they're not ESFJs?

Could you talk more about how the ENFP is manipulative? Maybe it's the word choice that is stumping me.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
199 Posts
My experience with my one INTP friend, is that we became friends because back then we were both loners, so we kinda just stuck together and built up our self-confidences and slowly accumulated a larger group of friends. We were also both very intelligent and could talk about science, and math, and school etc. Now, I'm getting really, really sick of him. He argues with everything I say no matter what. Refuses to listen to logic in a discussion, eventually just leaves it to, "you're wrong, I'm right. Doesn't matter what the facts say" which pisses me off an unimaginable amount. He consistently makes an effort to leave me out of stuff, if he has the choice to. He has made some extremely mean comments to me, straight faced, and never apologized. I'm not sure what happened, but it just seems like he more or less hates me now 50% of the time we hang out.

Now, that being said, I think both of us aren't quite your regular INTJ/INTP. I, as the INTJ, am the one that rarely plans. I'm usually just like "here, lets make this outline of what to do, and just make it up as we go" whereas he has to have ever single detail planned out weeks in advance. Now we might be similar to the stereotypes in that when it comes time to follow through with his plan, he doesn't, and I do go along with whatever I decided. And he'll get lazy and not finish stuff, and I will. But he is definitely the more organized and plan driven of the 2 of us. I do think of many different plans and every possible outcome, so I've just come to accept you can't quite plan for everything, so just get a general outline, and make whatever you can out of what happens.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
327 Posts
My only experience with them, that I know of, has been on this site and other personality sites; and if I went by that alone, I'd say the connection is like mixing oil and water.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
199 Posts
@Kaosrevolution He might just be stubborn. Tell him to get over himself.
I've tried. Like I said, I'm kinda just done with him. I don't need that in my life.

Edit: Like now, he just told me how stupid I am for wanting to reconnect to a childhood friend. WTF who does that.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
3,255 Posts
Hm. I don't want to say that you're wrong, but I'm just struggling to see this one at all. Are you sure they're not ESFJs?
Could you talk more about how the ENFP is manipulative? Maybe it's the word choice that is stumping me.
If it helps I'm sure I'm wrong on that, it's a perception that's skewed by an experience with one who does happen to be manipulative and I can't help but be triggered by the similar expression everytime I encounter it. I don't want to go on an on about that particular relationship but lets just say I have some innate dislike for the ENFP expression every time I encounter it. I think there was one on this board kind of playfully poking me on a few other threads and honestly it just made me want to get away as fast as possible. IDK, there's a kind of humour there that cuts too close to the bone, I'm pretty sure this is the same thing that draws many an INTJ in, but it repulses me. It comes across to me as High Bitchiness. I've also experienced particularly with female ENFPs a kind of 'I'm going to help you whether you like it or not' vibe which I also don't like. All of it, though could be total bullshit. Who knows.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
363 Posts
Discussion Starter · #20 ·
@Kaosrevolution I know what you mean, I had similar issues with a friend of mine. He judged me for being pissed off about a girl that screwed me over. I mean, he was my friend for around 4 years, and after a girl screws me over saying she just wanted me for my body but decided she hates me personally, he takes her side saying he would call the police if he heard anyone else that wasn't his friend saying the "disturbing" things I said in anger. I said I wanted to kill the bitch, not that I'd actually kill her, and he makes me out to be the bad guy after she out and out admits she only liked me for my dick? I mean, I'd understand if I actually hit the bitch, but even after a horrible revelation from her I just told her to get out.
 
1 - 20 of 52 Posts
Top