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Hello All.

Many of the Profiles describing INTJs say that they have "self-confidence" or may even appear arrogant. I even read somewhere that they were the most self confident of all the types.

Now, this was one trait which I though didn't apply to me, as I have been told by many that I have unnecassary self doubt and I'm even starting to notice that in lessons, I precede most statements with something along the lines of, "this is probably wrong but..."

However, when I asked a different question - "Do you think I seem confident?" - the answer was almost overwhelming positive and, although I definitely do not feel it, many people seem to think that I am very confident.

So, I was wondering if many other people experienced this confidence combined with self doubt thing and what your take on it was??

TheClog :happy:
 
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I may have been like the OP describes when I was in late teens. I had several INTJs teach me how to separate my feelings of doubt from my actual competence until I could really tell the difference. Then for a while my self-doubt was like a separate entity just hanging out there. Then it lost importance. Then I started getting macho about admitting what I'm not good at. The zen of INTJ. I get a tremendous ego boost from the ability to give up my ego. Plus it really pisses people off who want to say I am arrogant.:laughing:
 

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From what I've noticed the intuitive subtype of INTJ that relies more on Ni and has weaker Te tends to be less confident and does spends more time doing preemptive analysis before acting, thus also may take longer to do anything and can feel more unsure of himself or herself. I've known one guy of this type and he seemed to have heightened anxiety levels. People told him that he has good leadership capability when he did act, but he certainly didn't see himself this way.

I have also known three INTJs of logical subtype - there are the more extraverted INTJs whose Ni doesn't overshadow their Te to the same extent as it happens with the intuitive subtype and they use more of their Se also. These guys appear to have more self-confidence. They have no problem taking charge but overall seem to prefer not to do so. I don't think this has to do with their confidence levels though, just not wanting to deal with people in general.

But if somebody would ask me which type on average can be most confident and arrogant I'd say it is the ExTJs. With their dominant Te and inferior feeling function they definitely fit this bill.
 

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I may have been like the OP describes when I was in late teens.
Oh okay, so age may be a factor. I am 16 at the moment so that may be the exact reason!

From what I've noticed the intuitive subtype of INTJ that relies more on Ni and has weaker Te tends to be less confident and does spends more time doing preemptive analysis before acting, thus also may take longer to do anything and can feel more unsure of himself or herself. I've known one guy of this type and he seemed to have heightened anxiety levels. People told him that he has good leadership capability when he did act, but he certainly didn't see himself this way.
This sounds very much like me. I had a parents meeting very recently and almost all my teachers said that I had natural leadership skills. However, I would definitely not say that I was a good leader!

So, perhaps you are right in that INTJs who have a less developed Te may appear confident/have the leadership abilities which come naturally to this type, but are more anxious about their real ability??

Vel, you may also have inadvertantly helped me a little on my way to establishing my type - I am stuck between J and P, so thank you!
 
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This sounds very much like me. I had a parents meeting very recently and almost all my teachers said that I had natural leadership skills. However, I would definitely not say that I was a good leader!

So, perhaps you are right in that INTJs who have a less developed Te may appear confident/have the leadership abilities which come naturally to this type, but are more anxious about their real ability??

Vel, you may also have inadvertantly helped me a little on my way to establishing my type - I am stuck between J and P, so thank you!
not sure what I did but you're welcome :)

I think INTJs whose Ni has a stronger pull on their life tend to be more uneasy making decisions. Ni is a perceiving function; it makes no judgements. Intuitive subtype that heavily relies on it seem to get stuck in this extensive spiderweb of possibilities and outcomes their Ni throws at them. They will think a lot, try to anticipate everything, at the same time strive for deeper perfection, and as a result feel more anxious even to the point of being paralyzed and not taking any action.

But overall any type with T as dominant or auxiliary function will display higher levels of confidence than a type that has has feeling function as dom or aux. Those types who have Te, extraverted thinking that is turned and applied to the outside world, will of course more regularly display it to others and make impression of being more logical and aggressive in their approach.
 

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However, when I asked a different question - "Do you think I seem confident?" - the answer was almost overwhelming positive and, although I definitely do not feel it, many people seem to think that I am very confident.
This totally applies to me. I question myself in many situations, mostly internally and yet people find me confident. I thing is I'm getting better at appreciating myself. I would recommend watching out what you say - "I'm not sure, but..." and similar structures are dangerous. They can sneak into areas where they don't belong without you even noticing it and can cause unjustified lack of self - confidence.
 

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Although this has been said of not only INTJs, but ISTPs as well. The more I experience and learn about type, the notion that an introverting type can be without doubt actually is a contradiction. Introverting types do not experience without the use of our auxiliary functions, but there is no guarantee that it develops. I would be interested in knowing how you develop confidence as it pertains to type. Is this actually a false sense of confidence internally? Along with Si, Ni types are least likely to want to experience things. How are you gauging any sense of confidence?
 

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Interesting....

Many of the Profiles describing INTJs say that they have "self-confidence" or may even appear arrogant. I even read somewhere that they were the most self confident of all the types.

Now, this was one trait which I though didn't apply to me, as I have been told by many that I have unnecassary self doubt and I'm even starting to notice that in lessons, I precede most statements with something along the lines of, "this is probably wrong but..."

However, when I asked a different question - "Do you think I seem confident?" - the answer was almost overwhelming positive and, although I definitely do not feel it, many people seem to think that I am very confident.

So, I was wondering if many other people experienced this confidence combined with self doubt thing and what your take on it was??
While there can be the appearance of arrogance, this can come from a lack of social skills. Not having to learn to play nice all the time, INTJs may be a little rough around the edges I think.

I can understand the self-doubt but this comes with a number of factors. I do have anxiety and depression that can mess with some of my thought processes. I also have perfectionistic tendencies that can mess with my confidence as usually when I finish something I'll find a better way to do it next time over and over again. As for how to deal with it, this is why I have a therapist.
 

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I agree with ChanceyRose. I am confident in what I do and do not know. I am confident in my abilities, intelligence and capacity to learn what I need or want to know.

I do not doubt myself in life decisions. I always make the best decision with the information I have at that time, later when I have more information I might realize I could have made a better decision if I had this information earlier. This is why I also do not do regret first of all it is pointless and second I know the decision I made at the time was the best I could do.
 

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I would be interested in knowing how you develop confidence as it pertains to type. Is this actually a false sense of confidence internally? Along with Si, Ni types are least likely to want to experience things. How are you gauging any sense of confidence?
Feedback. Knowledge as it pertains to skills, theories, and facts is objectively measurable. Gain knowledge; express knowledge; receive feedback regarding correctness of knowledge; adjust.

Confidence in personal matters is more difficult. Feedback is subjective because it relies on the perceptions of other humans who are themselves riddled with their own issues. The only way I have found to gauge my progress in this area is to cultivate a few close relationships with individuals who are willing to provide me with feedback and noting their responses over time. As jbking mentioned, a therapist helps also.

I do not doubt myself in life decisions. I always make the best decision with the information I have at that time, later when I have more information I might realize I could have made a better decision if I had this information earlier. This is why I also do not do regret first of all it is pointless and second I know the decision I made at the time was the best I could do.
Agreed. As long as I examine my options in light of the information I have and make a conscientious choice, regretting the choice later is a waste of time. I also do not feel guilt for the same reason.
 

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Hello All.

Many of the Profiles describing INTJs say that they have "self-confidence" or may even appear arrogant. I even read somewhere that they were the most self confident of all the types.

Now, this was one trait which I though didn't apply to me, as I have been told by many that I have unnecassary self doubt and I'm even starting to notice that in lessons, I precede most statements with something along the lines of, "this is probably wrong but..."

However, when I asked a different question - "Do you think I seem confident?" - the answer was almost overwhelming positive and, although I definitely do not feel it, many people seem to think that I am very confident.

So, I was wondering if many other people experienced this confidence combined with self doubt thing and what your take on it was??

TheClog :happy:
I don't get it. Many have told you that you have unnecessary self doubt, and then many people think you´re very confident?

Statements like "this is probably wrong but... " you come up with because you know how people react when you just state your opinion. INTJ's tend to do be very direct and make things look like they are set in stone. People react very negative to that, so it is possible you, without really realizing it, are using that strategy to avoid people going against you.

Since you´re not really aware of why you talk in that way, you´re analizing your own behaviour and you seem to not be able to figure it out. That's why you´re now asking this question in this forum.

So you probably (!) think you don't have much self-confidence because you always have to worry about how other people react to what you say. With time you'll learn better how to deal with that.
 

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I have the most instances of self doubt when my emotions are heavily involved and when I'm put into a circumstance of having to lay those emotions bare and bleeding to someone I'm attached to emotionally.

There's been a shitload of self doubting lately.
 

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I can relate to this in some degree. I am very critical of myself (perfectionistic tendencies jbking mentioned), even though most people except for my parents don't know this, so it can cause bouts of self-doubt.

I also agree with Peter's post. Self-knowledge helps a lot.
 
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I always thought there was something wrong with me because I had early teen trauma...people always told me I was.....erm.... weird. I was filled with self doubt pretty much all my life. The funniest thing about that is that everyone always thought I exuded a self confidence. I guess it's all about the acting we do to keep the feelings at bay, the way we make our decisions, and the assuredness that our thoughts on particular ideas are right that give off a trifecta of confidence. I would have never thought that I was self confident but I don't act out like an insecure person would....I don't sabotage myself or others close to me...I don't act like I need anything. I am self contained.

I often hear that we are supposed to be arrogant. I think there may be some confusion as to what arrogance means sometimes.

The definition:

: exaggerating or disposed to exaggerate one's own worth or importance often by an overbearing manner <an arrogant official>, Merriam Webster.

Honest and blunt INTJs are honest and blunt....we state by our own definitions what we AREN'T good at. We will argue and it's not often that we are wrong because we have most of our arguments well thought out. Ni >Te is a lethal thought combo.

I would argue that we aren't arrogant as a type (although there will always be arrogant people of any type).
 

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I am confident in what I know and in what I don't know. I am confident in my ability to learn what I need or want to know. My self-doubt surfaces in interpersonal relationships.
I second this statement.
 

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Only a brief thought, but it occurs to me that the whole 'self confidence' thing relates as much to not caring what other people think as it does anything else... i.e. if a person is concerned with what other people think then it would suggest that their own confidence is lower because they are seeking the assurance of something or someone externally.

The fact that INTJs seek no external reinforcement or assurance and do what they please (trusting their own instinct more than anything on the outside) would give the appearance of huge self confidence when, and I agree here with the other threads, in reality, it's nothing to do with confidence and actually my own confidence levels are very low, while my outward persona couldn't be more mistaken for extremely high confidence.

The reality is I just don't care one bit what others think and do my own thing - even if I make mistakes along the way - their my mistakes, I made them, I'll take the consequences and learn the lessons.

Anyway, I hope that made sense.
 
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