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Discussion Starter #1
We are stereotyped to be cold and self centered with little to no appreciation for others.

Of course this is utter rubbish... We just do it in different ways sometimes.

In what ways do you like to show others your appreciation?
 

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*tackles Hemo to the ground and pluto licks*

Not really...I say it. I mean it.

If I appreciate something I will be usually rather formal about it. I guess because I am uncomfortable being silly and throwing all the love around....mainly because I am highly selective of who I choose to be around.

If I have told anyone that I appreciate them it really means just that.

I sometimes buy gifts.

.....and I become very protective of the person I appreciate.
 

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*wipes off saliva*

I like doing things like starting up birthday threads and teasing people a little in threads for online friends.
I'll do things like draw a picture of that person or make them a little piece of art work.

Verbally I am very formal and will tell that person directly that I appreciate them. My Fi can be all encompassing to those select few, and they will know when they are loved and appreciated.

I also like throwing surprise birthday parties and buying presents for the sake of 'just because'.

I will also show my appreciation to a person by being the ultimate hostess when they come to my house... new sheets and towels, fluffed up pillows with chocolates on them and fresh flowers in vases.

I have very few friends, but the friends I do have I intend to nurture and keep... and the best way of doing that is by showing them as often as possible how much they are appreciated.

Everybody needs to hear it once in a while... even the coldest hearted INTJ.
 

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It takes me a long while to get comfortable showing much appreciation/etc, aside from saying "thank you". As a show of appreciation to one of my friends, I let him know that when my career is off the ground I'd hire him in a heartbeat. He seems to always have one major problem or another going on, yet he has always been willing to help me with my goals. I said something similar to my younger brother, only in his case it's because he seems to have some form of social anxiety getting in his way.

I guess, the way I show appreciation and interest in someone is by finding a way to fit them into my long-term goals. Helping people that help me and making them a part of my life on more than just a social level (I'm not very social generally).
 

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hardly my fault they are not telepathic
 

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I become very protective of the person I appreciate.
Me too. I become quite loyal, actually.

I also like buying presents for the sake of 'just because'.
This describes me really well! I usually feel awkard about giving the gift though. I'm always scared that people will think it's too much even when it's something really silly and small. I have no idea why that is.
 

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I tend to be pretty clumsy when expressing appreciation, as well. Sometimes I'm overly formal, and the other person seems to feel like I'm only doing what I'm obligated to. Other times I worry that I didn't say enough, and that the other person didn't understand what I was trying to say. I have difficulty conveying the depth of my emotions to other people. I can only hope that my tone and expression are able to convey what the words can't.

Sometimes I show appreciation by reciprocation-- although like TurquoiseSunset, I always feel like I'm going over the top if I give a gift, like a batch of cookies or a loaf of bread or something. And I never know what to write in greeting cards.

Fi can be complicated sometimes. :frustrating:
 

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Discussion Starter #8

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was thinking about this

I was thinking about this just yesterday. My mom told me when I was little that I need to show appreciation more. Young as I was, I knew that I did appreciate what other people did for me, but I just didn't express it much. I've since learned to say thank you often. But when it comes to deeper matters, I think there's much more I could do. It's not so easy to verbalize gratitude for people you deeply care about, is it? But it makes a difference for a person's relationships.

That'll be my next project :wink:
 

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I don't go out of my way for a lot of people, so if I really appreciate you than I won't mind being asked to do a favor. Sometimes I'll do it before they even get a chance to ask me.
 

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I don't go out of my way for a lot of people, so if I really appreciate you than I won't mind being asked to do a favor. Sometimes I'll do it before they even get a chance to ask me.
I'm the helpful type so I think the distinction is that I help people in general if they ask, but I'd be all smiles when helping someone I really appreciate, even (like in your case) before they ask.
 

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I never know what to write in greeting cards.
I hear you, I have the same problem with that and anything similar. Mostly I skip the card altogether.

Maybe this is slightly off topic, but does anyone here have a problem saying something like, "I love you too mom" over the phone, for example? I even told my mom once that she shouldn't be offended (ISFJ's can be so needy :tongue:), but I couldn't say 'I love you' over the phone, especially not at work. It feels super awkard. When I'm with friends it's less difficult, but then everybody shouldn't be listening.
 

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Maybe this is slightly off topic, but does anyone here have a problem saying something like, "I love you too mom" over the phone, for example? I even told my mom once that she shouldn't be offended (ISFJ's can be so needy :tongue:), but I couldn't say 'I love you' over the phone, especially not at work. It feels super awkard. When I'm with friends it's less difficult, but then everybody shouldn't be listening.
Actually, I don't think I've ever said that to anyone over the phone. My parents don't do it either, it's just something no one in my family does.
However, I can see where if they did, it would feel weird for me to say it back.
 

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No, although I think I should be concerned as to how easily I 'fake' it when it comes to saying things like this.
 
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