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I am a mother and INTJ. Just wondering how other INTJ mothers are doing? I am pretty patient but I feel so compelled to drive my children... crazy or to greatness. Sometimes I am not sure... Anyone want to share their experiences?
 

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I'm a mother. I have a daughter who will be 18 in three weeks and a son who is 10.

I respect them as individuals and let them be themselves. My son is an INFJ and my daughter is an ISTJ. I asked them to take the MBTI because I wanted to better understand what makes them tick, so to speak.

I am patient too, unless they get overly dramatic or whiny. The logical part of me just doesn't understand that kind of reaction to things. I'd rather sit down and talk out the details with them without all the emotion mixed in.

I want my children to succeed, and I expect a lot of them, but I also understand that we all have limitations and challenges. I've always talked to them about letting me know asap if there is a problem arising so we can address it before it becomes huge.

Sorry...I'm tired and distracted...I'll add more later.
 

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Oh - before I forget - my father is an INTJ, and my parenting style is very much like his. He was patient with us and we knew we could talk to him (unlike our hot-head mother). I've always admired his logical, rational mind.

On a side note, my sister recently took the MBTI @ work, and she's an INTJ too. No surprise there.
 
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I'm not the crafty mom who braids hair and bakes homemade bread. I encourage my kids to climb things, play without adult supervision and be responsible for themselves, their things and their time. I speak in terms of resources, define everything as "a tool or a toy" and ask them to evaluate their own behavior. Punishments are logical consequences of behavior. I admit when I am wrong and apologize.

I home-school my 3 children ages 5 (ENTJ), 7 (IXTJ) and 9 (ISFP).

I learned a while ago that it is most important to discover who your kids are and help them realize their potential, whatever that may be. I like homeschooling because I can let them be themselves, it is more efficient and I do a better job. My children get sick less frequently, they are better behaved and they always impress people. While waiting for the doctor today, a male nurse stopped by while we were playing the "animal game." It is basically 20 questions with animal attributes. He couldn't believe that all my kids (including the 5 year old) could define and apply nocturnal, omnivore, domesticated and mammal. I have high standards for my kids, but I have learned to relax a little and teach them to enjoy learning. I feel that is the way to raise life-long learners and good citizens, by demonstrating the respect and integrity you wish to get from them.
 

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I encourage my kids to climb things, play without adult supervision and be responsible for themselves, their things and their time. I speak in terms of resources, define everything as "a tool or a toy" and ask them to evaluate their own behavior. Punishments are logical consequences of behavior. I admit when I am wrong and apologize.
This is my philosophy as well. My daughter is 4 and I am pretty sure she is ENF..something. I know it sounds silly to type such a young child but her personality is very well developed and she is very mature for her age. I teach her to be responsible for herself. I try to encourage her to think about the future and what she can do now to ensure a better time later...I might tell her if she cleans her room now, when her friends come over later they will be able to see ALL her Barbies displayed nicely and will tell her how cool her Barbies are...lol. Punishments are ALWAYS logical and if I mess up, I always say sorry. I don't deny to her that adults make mistakes too, or try to act perfect.

I don't plan on pushing her much. I plan on exposing her to a lot of different things, so she can decide on her own what she wants to do. She was reading, doing addition and subtraction at age three. I'm not worried, she runs circles around other kids her age.

I am patient too, unless they get overly dramatic or whiny. The logical part of me just doesn't understand that kind of reaction to things. I'd rather sit down and talk out the details with them without all the emotion mixed in.
Yes. I am patient until the over the top emotional behavior starts. I am really glad the tantrum stage is pretty much over with. The terrible twos were terrible for me and her.
 

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It's funny: Just by giving me a long leash and going on about her own interests, my INTJ mom drove me to become a life-long learner. We think of reading as such a solitary act, but when your life is connected to the life of a voracious reader, you can't help but get caught up asking good questions. I'm pretty sure my formative years were driven by nothing more than the desire to teach her things her books already hadn't (or couldn't?), which does wonders for a flighty young boy's attention span. INTJ mom are the best moms. :happy:
 

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It's funny: Just by giving me a long leash and going on about her own interests, my INTJ mom drove me to become a life-long learner. We think of reading as such a solitary act, but when your life is connected to the life of a voracious reader, you can't help but get caught up asking good questions. I'm pretty sure my formative years were driven by nothing more than the desire to teach her things her books already hadn't (or couldn't?), which does wonders for a flighty young boy's attention span. INTJ mom are the best moms. :happy:
You are awesome :happy:

I see this pattern of her wanting to teach me things happening already. It's amusing that you are ENFP. I am pretty sure this is where she is headed. I am her mother, but the things she has taught me in 4 1/2 years could fill a book. When I am stressed, she can definitely tell and she says things like "Mom, lets hug so you can feel better! Hugs always make you feel better! or "I know....Let's get popcicles and tell jokes!" I seriously don't know what I would do without her.
 

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Funny that alot of us have ENFP kids. I believe one of mine is. We seem to get on well but she is very sensitive when I correct her. Sometimes it's frustrating but I am disappointed in myself when I hurt her feelings. She just turned four but she seems much older. She is so sweet but sarcastic... I don't know how else to teach her, I guess.
 

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I am an INTJ mother and I think I might be raising an INTJ son. The good thing about this, is that when I get a bit too carried away with a joke, game or idea, he is quick to bring me back to Earth with some of his own judgements and logical thought.

It is humbling (to say the least) to have a nine year old question the logic behind your idea or action ad realise he is right.

I am inclined to listen carefully now he has proven his incredible foresight... The latest was on a bike ride where he questioned whether a hill was too steep to ride down. I was adamant that it would be fine and went to prove it by going down first. Guess who stacked her bike and ended up covered in bruises??
 

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I am an INTJ mother and I think I might be raising an INTJ son. The good thing about this, is that when I get a bit too carried away with a joke, game or idea, he is quick to bring me back to Earth with some of his own judgements and logical thought.

It is humbling (to say the least) to have a nine year old question the logic behind your idea or action ad realise he is right.

I am inclined to listen carefully now he has proven his incredible foresight... The latest was on a bike ride where he questioned whether a hill was too steep to ride down. I was adamant that it would be fine and went to prove it by going down first. Guess who stacked her bike and ended up covered in bruises??
LOL.

I encourage my kids to make their case for the things that they want. My 5 year old is very articulate and sometimes it feels a bit strange to say to someone that small, "You make a compelling argument, son."

Another thing that I do that I think is probably unique to the NT in general...I do not talk down at all to my children. I speak the same way to them as I would to an adult and insist they try the words that I use. My grandmother gave me a small gift when she came to visit and my youngest wanted to know why. "I just like giving gifts," she said. "Oh, so you like being charitable?" He was 4 at the time.

The one thing my children have taught me is how to really listen...how to be patient, especially when I am engrossed in my own thing. I have learned to say "yes" as often as possible and not impose unnecessary restrictions upon them (no matter how convenient it would be for me). Sometimes kids will amaze you...but you have to let them. :proud:
 
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