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People have crappy short term memory, bad hearing (hitting the clubs too much?), selective hearing, or just aren't paying any attention. It bugs me when they're physically present, but their mind is elsewhere. Generally, I'm not too bothered if we're in groups where discussions can get flowing so rapidly that it's easy not to catch anything, but if it's private (especially if it's important) then they're testing my patience.

It gets on my nerves even more so if they can't read because it's so easy to backtrack to take everything back in. Sometimes, I avoid the debating forum because of this one reason. I'm sure it gets on the nerves of most INTXs who tend to be precise with what they say.

I greatly fear the falling literacy rates with the advent of l33t-speak sometime within the last decade-and-a-bit. It seems that falling literacy rates equates to a lack of listening skills and the total deprivation of face-to-face verbal comprehension at times. Perhaps this is one of the major contributing factors leading constant repetition of the same points and the wastage of energy (the amount of vocal power wasted all these years I could have used to learn to sing or save lives with meaningful speeches).
 

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Subterranean Homesick Alien
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O my sister hates to repeat herself...I mean she doesn't speak loud and she doesn't speak clearly and sometime it seems like it's on purpose...but when you ask her (even in a nice way) to repeat herself, she gets pissed off...I don't get it because it's usually her fault...I've just stopped caring about what she says because it's too hard to deal with her attitude. If i don't hear what she says, I just say "I didn't hear what you said sorry" and walk away in fear that she'll still get mad...she gets pissed off easily which kinda pisses me off because I'm always really nice to her

I don't understand what's so bad about it...if someone doesn't hear you or happens to not be paying attention for one reason or another, why does that drive you bad shit crazy? Why try to make sense of it? INTJs tend to come to the worst conclusions when they try to make sense of what others do...in fact they never come up with anything good when they try to make sense of other people in my experience

O and when the time comes when she doesn't understand me... it's alright to repeat yourself! Suddenly there's nothing annoying about it...personally, I don't mind repeating myself unless it's like 5 times then I get pissed off but am playful about it, but i wish she was the same way
 

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O my sister hates to repeat herself...I mean she doesn't speak loud and she doesn't speak clearly and sometime it seems like it's on purpose...but when you ask her (even in a nice way) to repeat herself, she gets pissed off...I don't get it because it's usually her fault...I've just stopped caring about what she says because it's too hard to deal with her attitude. If i don't hear what she says, I just say "I didn't hear what you said sorry" and walk away in fear that she'll still get mad...she gets pissed off easily which kinda pisses me off because I'm always really nice to her

I don't understand what's so bad about it...if someone doesn't hear you or happens to not be paying attention for one reason or another, why does that drive you bad shit crazy? Why try to make sense of it? INTJs tend to come to the worst conclusions when they try to make sense of what others do...in fact they never come up with anything good when they try to make sense of other people in my experience
Perhaps you should change your body disposition so that you would physically appear to be listening. I've dealt with many ENFPs and most of them had a nasty habit of not being able to maintain eye contact or even face me when I'm talking to them.

Another seemingly additional unwanted features of ENFPs is their inability to blame themselves for anything and their fear of conflict... or at least their own perception of what "conflict" is. Heck, they the only time they say it's their fault is when they break down into the fake "self-blame"-mode as a last resort to end conflicts. By the way, these aren't really my descriptions -- they're paraphrased from online profiles.

You think we're "bad shit crazy" and we think some ENFPs are just rude with a massive lack in basic conversational etiquette. Either that, or you could change your approach with expressing why you did not hear... or at least make it believable that you genuinely did try to listen. Language and expression counts :)

Taken from personalitypage:
-ENFPs sometimes make serious errors in judgment. They have an amazing ability to intuitively perceive the truth about a person or situation, but when they apply judgment to their perception, they may jump to the wrong conclusions.
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A problem area for ENFPs in relationships is their dislike of conflict and sensitivity to criticism. They are perfectionists who believe that any form of criticism is a stab at their character, which is very difficult for them to take. Conflict situations are sources of extreme stress to the ENFP. They have a tendency to brush issues under the rug rather than confront them head-on, if there is likely to be a conflict. They are also prone to "give in" easily in conflict situations, just to end the conflict. They might agree to something which goes against their values just to end the uncomfortable situation. In such cases, the problem is extended and will return at a later time. The ENFP needs to realize that conflict situations are not the end of the world. They are entirely normal, and can be quite helpful for the growth of a relationship. They also need to work on taking criticism for what it is, rather than blowing up any negative comment into an indictment against their entire character.
Sorry, I just found your entire 2nd paragraph to be extremely rude (we make poor judgment calls? Read the first point in the quote). It's pretty normal for dom/aux Fi to constantly think that they're always right.
 

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Subterranean Homesick Alien
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You don't get it...you can ask her in a nice way to repeat what she says like "sorry I didn't hear what you said" and she gets mad...I never get angry at people unless they're angry...I try to listen...I mean why would I purposefully not listen? That's rude and I'm not a rude person

Yeah I'm sorry...my sister does that it's Just can't seem to get past it because she always judges me negatively...always! I'm fine in conversations, sometimes I do have trouble paying attention, but usually it's because she doesn't speak loud an doesn't speak clearly and it's obvious she dos it on purpose..sometimes I can't hear her at all and I don't think it's fair that she gets mad about that
I actually am fine at blaming myself for things because I know when I did somethign wrong and I feel the need to say sorry when I hurt people...I am sensitive and I have no problem admitting that, but my sister seems to be completely insensitive...I get along fine with my INFJ mom
I can't keep eye contact, but it's because I've had social anxiety for most of my life and looking people in the eye still feels uncomfortable to me no matter how much more comfortable i feel in general now...I'm trying to get over it, not my fault
I don't think INTJs are bat shit crazy...I think they get bat shit crazy when they have to repeat things...Or my sister does...but I just ignore her now because it's way too hard to deal with her sometimes; she's rarely in friendly mode(or what i think of as friendly)...I made a thread about her because we don't seem to get each other, but I still have hard time dealing with her though I can brush past most of her rudeness

It'snot fair to say all INTJs do that, but my sister does do that...misjudge me I mean...that's not in my head; it seems like INTJs like to make sense of me and like they don't like ENFPs much; I have my ways misjudged by everyone though
And I've never been in self blaming mode or whatever...I mean like I want people to feel bad for me. that doesn't sound ENFP at all unless I'm an atypical ENFP. If I feel bad for something, I cry alone about it think about how to make it up...and then I make up with the person; I'm actually really good at making up with people because all I want is for everyone to be happy



I dislike repeating myself.
It wastes energy and interrupts my train of thought. And i rarely say anything interesting enough to be worth repeating, so it makes me self-conscious about what i'm saying.

But I often ask other people to repeat themselves, because I'm not that bright, and sometimes i have to hear things multiple times before they sinks in.
I sometimes hate repeating myself...but I'm willing to accept that i didn't speak loud or clearly enough or maybe the person has hearing problems...I agree with you on feeling self conscious about what you're saying...I always have this fear that what I'm saying is wrong or completely off...that again is about my social anxiety that I'm just now getting over...but I'm trying to change that to be more aloof...who the hell cares what people think? No one should hinder your ability to have fun


And what I'm saying is, why does it have to be the other person's' fault? Why can't it be yours? And then why does it matter? Everyone has to repeat themselves...no one loves it, but you have to do it sometimes



I like kittehs...
 

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I dislike repeating myself.
It wastes energy and interrupts my train of thought. And i rarely say anything interesting enough to be worth repeating, so it makes me self-conscious about what i'm saying.

But i often ask other people to repeat themselves, because i'm not that bright, and sometimes i have to hear things multiple times before they sinks in.
 

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I hate repeating myself. I don't understand why the hell I should repeat a point I have already made.How about you?
This is my biggest pet peeve. It's totally illogical because I have a tendency to mumble my words when I think people aren't paying attention. (This naturally leads to them not being able to hear me, and requiring to ask me to repeat myself.) But it ticks me off. Even if it's my favorite person in the whole world asking very politely, "Pardon me?" I have to take a deep breath in order to refrain from biting their head off. I explain this irrational attitude by a couple of things; 1) repeating ones self is completely inefficient, and 2) unless I just told you the secrets to the universe, what I said probably isn't worth the effort it'll take to repeat myself a second time. But maybe I'm wrong and there's some underlying, subconscious reason for my deep irritation.
 

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This is my biggest pet peeve. It's totally illogical because I have a tendency to mumble my words when I think people aren't paying attention. (This naturally leads to them not being able to hear me, and requiring to ask me to repeat myself.) But it ticks me off. Even if it's my favorite person in the whole world asking very politely, "Pardon me?" I have to take a deep breath in order to refrain from biting their head off. I explain this irrational attitude by a couple of things; 1) repeating ones self is completely inefficient, and 2) unless I just told you the secrets to the universe, what I said probably isn't worth the effort it'll take to repeat myself a second time. But maybe I'm wrong and there's some underlying, subconscious reason for my deep irritation.
I completely agree. I have no idea why I hate repeating myself. I just do. Even if I know someone didn't hear what I said, it requires that I pull energy from the deep within to repeat it.
 

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Subterranean Homesick Alien
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I always get to emotional about things when I could have stated a point I still think valid in a much better tone...sorry INTJs
 

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I think my dad is INTP and he dislikes it as well. It seems he sees it as someone not processing necessary information (not "willing" to process it, perhaps?) and so he doesn't care to repeat what's been said.

Personally I try to be clear enough the first time.
If someone like a person I like didn't pick up on it I'm cool with that, they have their reasons. I'll repeat it and will try to make sure they got the message. But yes it's annoying when one wants to be efficient with things and then gets cut back. =P I can have patience if necessary, sometimes I just need things to flow or I get cranky. xD But whatever. Patience remains the best. Muahah.
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
That's cool! I mumble a lot when I talk, probably because I'm gathering my thoughts.
 

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That's cool! I mumble a lot when I talk, probably because I'm gathering my thoughts.
I do that too. I probably agree that it's because I'm browsing through or gathering my thoughts... & When I speak publically, people often ask me to speak louder.

However... If I'm prepared or just really channeled in, I'm capable of speaking very clearly. It requires just a hint of effort and it is effective.

I got a bit off track it seems, but here comes my point:
If you mumble, you're more prone to be needed to repeat yourself =P.
So actually, being -prepared- like I suggested might be a good thing for you, too.

One needs to think things out & through.
 

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When it comes to repeating things simply because the other person may not have caught everything I said, I don't mind. I occasionally have to ask other people to repeat themselves too.

However, when I have to repeat something over the course of several minutes, hours, days, or any significant length of time, I get really annoyed. Usually it's when people just don't seem to be grasping what it is that I'm saying, or they aren't paying enough attention. For example, last semester I got into a bit of a debate with a guy from a group project I was in. He kept going back and repeating arguments that I had already addressed, and I was getting really aggravated having to refute the same stuff over again. It's a huge annoyance to me, and it often makes me question the other person's competence.
 

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When it comes to repeating things simply because the other person may not have caught everything I said, I don't mind. I occasionally have to ask other people to repeat themselves too.

However, when I have to repeat something over the course of several minutes, hours, days, or any significant length of time, I get really annoyed. Usually it's when people just don't seem to be grasping what it is that I'm saying, or they aren't paying enough attention. For example, last semester I got into a bit of a debate with a guy from a group project I was in. He kept going back and repeating arguments that I had already addressed, and I was getting really aggravated having to refute the same stuff over again. It's a huge annoyance to me, and it often makes me question the other person's competence.
Yes, when having a debate it's preferable that the other party can keep track with the essentials, otherwise it just seems like a futile attempt to reach any forthcoming ideas (out in the open, at least).
 

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I have a photographic memory...so yes, I hate repeating myself just about as much as I hate it when someone tells me the same old story for the tenth time. It is odd how people don't appreciate it when I cut them off two words in and repeat their story or instructions verbatim to save them the trouble. haha
 

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absofuckinglutely!!! I hate it with a passion....it's misunderstood, you know it's misunderstood *sigh* start over and go about it in another way (patience now!!).....but what is even worse than that is when they think you don't understand what they have said because you are 7 steps ahead to the conclusion of where they are going in their argument (as see through and simplistic as it is) :dry:

Then begins their process of repeating it slower and louder several times as if you are not only stupid but deaf as well....I have heard myself say "yes I know your argument because you just said it 5 times and now you are saying it slower and wasting more of my time!!!" ooooh excuse the swearing but that one really hit a nerve:angry:
 

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I have a photographic memory...so yes, I hate repeating myself just about as much as I hate it when someone tells me the same old story for the tenth time. It is odd how people don't appreciate it when I cut them off two words in and repeat their story or instructions verbatim to save them the trouble. haha
Do you finish people's sentences? I used to do that. Or I'd come up with the word they're looking for. Good times :tongue:
 

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I too have a problem with speech volume and mumbling. If I'm subconsciously speaking too low or mumbling, which happens often and is the strangest thing, I will repeat myself and only be annoyed. However, if I've been clear or if I feel something is self-explanatory it becomes rather insufferable to repeat things.

We INTJs value competence, no?
 
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