Personality Cafe banner
1 - 11 of 11 Posts

·
Banned
Joined
·
235 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
say an only child is raised by a single parent who is a INTJ (for example)..

will this child also be an INTJ? or will the child see the flaws of the INTJ parent and ultimately become maybe an ENTJ? this can be analyzed in any way you want to.

i guess basically what im asking is, can an individual control was temperment they have? even if genetics are involved.
 

·
MOTM Nov 2009
Joined
·
4,132 Posts
If the only child were an INTJ themselves, I believe they would be an INTJ - they may act, for a time, as something else in trying to be better than what they can see in their parent, but ultimately, I doubt they would actually become another type of person all on their own. Taking from their parent's mistakes, however, may be a good thing in helping them to adapt.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
287 Posts
Since when being ENTJ is 'better' than being INTJ?
I grew up with an older ENTJ in the house. I learned a lot from observing him, and the main lesson was that observation > action. (even if that makes us go at a snail's pace in everything we do.)

So yeah, although we can learn from other people's mistakes, I think an INTJ growing up with another INTJ would be more likely to realize he shouldn't be so cold and direct, not that he should become an extrovert.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
235 Posts
Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Since when being ENTJ is 'better' than being INTJ?
I grew up with an older ENTJ in the house. I learned a lot from observing him, and the lesson was that observation > action. (even if that makes us go at a snail's pace in everything we do.)

So yeah, although we can learn from other people's mistakes. I think an INTJ growing up with an INTJ would be more likely to realize he shouldn't be so cold and direct, not that he should become an extrovert.

i never said any type was "better" i was just giving an example. just throwing the 'E' out there since i was trying to make a point about a person shifting their temperment from 'I' to 'E'...and i said this can be analyzed in any way.

and the reason i used the example of becoming an 'E'..from an 'I'.. is because i figured maybe the child saw that the parent preferred to spend alot of time alone, maybe in result not spending enough time with the child himself? so maybe the child would want to be more of a people person...therefore trying to become an 'E'.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
114 Posts
I doubt a intj parent would ignore there children. We care about people who care about that we know i think i would think of my kid as a project building the perfect person, everything they want, and i would put as much time into there development as i would into any project even more since it will be a very long term project.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
235 Posts
Discussion Starter · #6 ·
I doubt a intj parent would ignore there children. We care about people who care about that we know i think i would think of my kid as a project building the perfect person, everything they want, and i would put as much time into there development as i would into any project even more since it will be a very long term project.

hmm... good point. INTJs are big on efficiency. while i hate to use that word to describe a home environment... that basically is what INTJs desire. effiency. so yes, project to build the perfect person.. to raise a intelligent, well-rounded child.

thanks! :happy:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
287 Posts
Hmm... As an INTJ child I wouldn't be bothered by a parent not spending too much time with me, I'd think (ever since very little I had the 'feeling' that I would be happy if only I could be by myself in a room filled with everything I needed and wanted, so I think we don't really need to spend too much time with people, not even as kids). And like Redzell said, I think an INTJ parent would be very responsible and find time for the kid. I honestly think the flaw in an INTJ is not the slowness, or the lack of sociability, but the lack of tact and warmth. But that's off-topic.

To answer your question, again, I'd have to agree with Grey. We can't change who we are, we can simply learn to control our nature for the better.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
235 Posts
Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Hmm... As an INTJ child I wouldn't be bothered by a parent not spending too much time with me, I'd think (ever since very little I had the 'feeling' that I would be happy if only I could be by myself in a room filled with everything I needed and wanted, so I think we don't really need to spend too much time with people, not even as kids). And like Redzell said, I think an INTJ parent would be very responsible and find time for the kid. I honestly think the flaw in an INTJ is not the slowness, or the lack of sociability, but the lack of tact and warmth. But that's off-topic.

To answer your question, again, I'd have to agree with Gray. We can't change who we are, we can simply learn to control our nature for the better.

hmm...tact and warmth. i do agree. we are not good with emotions, well displaying them at least. so you're right.

and i think i do agree that we cant change who we are. in my opinion, (and based off what youre saying)...individuals are born with a temperment intact. the reason people DO believe, however, that we can change, is probably because we ourselves need time to figure out who we are.. also, we may try to experiment with different mindsets and such.... but essentially, i do agree with you.

:cool:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,423 Posts
say an only child is raised by a single parent who is a INTJ (for example)..

will this child also be an INTJ? or will the child see the flaws of the INTJ parent and ultimately become maybe an ENTJ? this can be analyzed in any way you want to.

i guess basically what im asking is, can an individual control was temperment they have? even if genetics are involved.
As you probably know, each letter of the MBTI has a percentage. I think that outside factors can influence those percentages a bit, but not more than say 20% up or down. So if you´re 60% on all 4 letters than you won't see your type change on a test.

Somebody that's below 20% on a letter may see the letter change. But the change in personality is just as big as someone that's above 60%. It's just that the letters have only 2 possibilities. But when you cross that 0% your personality doesn't change all the sudden just because there's a description that says you now have to be different.


There are as many personalities as there are people alive. The MBTI categorizes them into 16 types and people of each type share a lot of things, but they´re all individuals of course.


People can change their behavior a bit, but obviously, if your brain is very introverted, then there is no way to make it all the sudden very extroverted.
 

·
Administrator
Joined
·
23,659 Posts
I'm a single parent with 3 children....the eldest is INTP my mother is INTP
I don't know enough about MBTI to judge the two younger ones They may be INXX but I just can't tell.


I doubt a intj parent would ignore there children. We care about people who care about that we know i think i would think of my kid as a project building the perfect person, everything they want, and i would put as much time into there development as i would into any project even more since it will be a very long term project.

I have been a machine in trying to help them be rounded individuals. The youngest has a rare form of cushing syndrome (and had an adrenalectomy) and the middle child has anaphylaxy to egg and both ehave strict diets for other allergies too. My behavoiur towards them isn't INTJ in the way that I tolerate childish behaviour and drama....after all they are children. I take the time to explain ideas over and over until understood (which is something I wouldn't bother to do with any peers). I gave birth to the two younger children whilst doing a degree and breastfed them both during that time. The eldest child endured 4 bedtime Harry Potter books read out loud at bedtime (sacrificed alone time). And they are all fairly well rounded individuals I would say (of course I am biased)

To answer the OP I would say that people don't change their personality but grow and adjust to their cognitive styles if they see they are lacking in areas. They will just adapt to their environment.

Intuitively I would say they are pretty much born with their personalities. I would also say that I was born with mine. I think that people change their behaviours to adjust if they are capable. From my observations as they have grown I would also say that their personalities have not changed at all from birth. They have all individual ways of thinking. They learn and adapt as they grow. I changed my behaviour of seeking solitude as much and showed warmth and smiles accordingly because I understood children needed good attention from me not my innate avoident behaviour with the many other quirks of INTJness.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3 Posts
I doubt a intj parent would ignore there children. We care about people who care about that we know i think i would think of my kid as a project building the perfect person, everything they want, and i would put as much time into there development as i would into any project even more since it will be a very long term project.
Wow! I am so glad you said that because I have often had the same thought about my children (that may or may not ever come into existence) and I always thought such a statement would be criticized for coming across as...uncaring in some way. Thank you for sharing.
 
1 - 11 of 11 Posts
Top