Personality Cafe banner

1 - 20 of 50 Posts

·
Banned
Joined
·
235 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
Many may think that INTJs are selfish..too self-comsumed and a bit narcissistic. here's my theory. INTJs are very internally motivated. we look inside ourselves for comfort and rejuvination. i do not believe that INTJs are selfish..while we may appear to be, we actually just are somewhat incapable to relate to others. think about it. we focus so much attention on our own minds and thoughts, that other peoples feelings and emotions are almost foreign to us. but on the otherhand, if our best friend is distraught and needs help, without hesitation we bend over backwards to help..may this be because we are formiliar with our close friends feelings? we know what makes them tick..and what goes on inside their heads? i do not believe for one second that INTJ's are to be generalized as selfish. anyone can be selfish. INTJs... introvert.. not selfish.

what are your thoughts?

:proud:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
218 Posts
but on the otherhand, if our best friend is distraught and needs help, without hesitation we bend over backwards to help..
I have found that the INTJ reaction is heavily dependent on how mature the person is in the first place. If anything, I've found that, at times, an INTJ will kind of 'ignore' a problem, internalize it, and deal with it privately. This alone can appear to others as indifferent or insensitive ... INTJs are misunderstood, I think.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,367 Posts
I can be both helpful (I can't relate to "submissive") and selfish. It's all about context. If I make the decision to help someone, I'll show up and tear through the problem as quickly and efficiently as possible. I not only want to blow them away with my efficiency, but I want to impress myself... as well as get the hell out of there as quickly as possible. But I can also be very selfish in other contexts. If someone wants something, and I have declined, they can beg and plead all they like, and I'll just remind them that I said 'no'. It's all about the person and the circumstance, and what's going on in my head at the time.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
377 Posts
I can be both helpful (I can't relate to "submissive") and selfish. It's all about context. If I make the decision to help someone, I'll show up and tear through the problem as quickly and efficiently as possible. I not only want to blow them away with my efficiency, but I want to impress myself... as well as get the hell out of there as quickly as possible. But I can also be very selfish in other contexts. If someone wants something, and I have declined, they can beg and plead all they like, and I'll just remind them that I said 'no'. It's all about the person and the circumstance, and what's going on in my head at the time.

I'm very much like this.
It really does depend on the person, and situation though.
I have best friends, friends, and acquaintances. It depends on who they are, what they want/or need help with, and what the situation is. I'm more likely to go out of my way and try my best to help my best friend, then to go out of my way for an acquaintance who is known to only come to me when they want/need something.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,070 Posts
I have recently been accused of my actions being "selfish" and "having no regards for others", but the problem with that is that I simply didn't realize that I was negatively affecting the people around me, these "selfish" action of mine are things that I wouldn't mind if someone did to me, so why would someone else mind if I did so to them? *sigh* Curse those proponents of that "golden rule" which states to do unto others as you would have them do unto you...

I really am a kind and generous individual, I really do want the best for everybody, I just don't know what that "best" is. So as a result I tend to do nothing...

But if you tell me what you need, then I will more than gladly give it to you (within reason of course).
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,277 Posts
Selfish? Not in the slightest. It just depends on the (logic of) situation. We might be very willing to help, but we won't be emotionally invested in the matter.

Narcissistic? We have an internal self confidence I believe, but we're not obsessive in flaunting it to ourselves for others to observe.
 

·
Administrator
INTJ - ILI - 8w9 - Libtard
Joined
·
22,602 Posts
I'm the sucker who turns up and helps people out when they are down and all the pleasant smiley happy people who are obsessed with relating to success suddenly cant be bothered.
I'll second that...and add that I am the one everyone's pets come and sit on and shove their various itchy/erogenous zones to pat.

I am trying not to be that person so much now....only for my elite chosen few:tongue:
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
235 Posts
Discussion Starter #12
No offence, but submissive sounds just as bad, and insulting, as selfish (although I'm not an INTJ, so this is from an outside POV). I don't think the INTJ type is either of those things, but is more rationally empathetic.
sub·mis·sive

   /səbˈmɪs
ɪv
/ Show Spelled[suh
b-mis-iv] Show IPA
–adjective 1. inclined or ready to submit; unresistingly or humbly obedient: submissive servants.

2. marked by or indicating submission: a submissive reply.

submissive is not an insult. submissive was, ill admit, the wrong word to use.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,385 Posts
I am not submissive nor will I ever allow some other person to domineer my path. I am highly dominant but I have consideration for others. I am not too uncooperative because when I realize I am wrong, I'll be the first to admit it although I'd really hate to.

As for selfish? No. I can always back down for the sack of someone I care, respect, love, and appreciate. In fact, with friends... I'm very loyal and self-less. I would do almost anything for them if they are in dire need.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
3,417 Posts
I'm selfish these days. I put myself before others, its me who's gotten myself through pain and been there not them...
Posted via Mobile Device
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
842 Posts
I will bend over backwards for a friend, but I'd in absolute control if something goes against my values or rational choices.

I'd also be your worst nightmare if you cross the line. One of my friends/ex recently crossed that line, and now his chances of getting into medicine is hanging by a tearing thread because of my relations and family relations with higher-ups. I deal with these things swiftly as drawing it out would be too much torture for him.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
235 Posts
Discussion Starter #16
I will bend over backwards for a friend, but I'd in absolute control if something goes against my values or rational choices.

I'd also be your worst nightmare if you cross the line. One of my friends/ex recently crossed that line, and now his chances of getting into medicine is hanging by a tearing thread because of my relations and family relations with higher-ups. I deal with these things swiftly as drawing it out would be too much torture for him.
INTJs are firecrackers. :crazy: ..love it.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,385 Posts
I'd also be your worst nightmare if you cross the line. One of my friends/ex recently crossed that line, and now his chances of getting into medicine is hanging by a tearing thread because of my relations and family relations with higher-ups. I deal with these things swiftly as drawing it out would be too much torture for him.
That isn't right. Malice never solves anything. The best revenge... is none at all.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,906 Posts
I prefer to be submissive, but it's a choice and i will decide when and how much.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,682 Posts
As far as submissive versus selfish goes, my first thought is I'd say "Whatever." before "Yes, dear." On the topic, I am who I am. It's hard to explain compassion by means of MBTI, so I think it's better to refrain.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
235 Posts
Discussion Starter #20
As far as submissive versus selfish goes, my first thought is I'd say "Whatever." before "Yes, dear." On the topic, I am who I am. It's hard to explain compassion by means of MBTI, so I think it's better to refrain.

hmm.. sometimes that is my exact mode of thought as well. well... most INTJs like to refrain a lot of the time... simply because we do not feel like putting much effort into an elaborate explaination... either in fear that ppl wont understand..or because we feel that they dont deserve the answer you could possibly articulate.

BUT ANYWAYS, i feel ya
 
1 - 20 of 50 Posts
Top