I'm actually not sure I know any ESFJs. If I do, I'm certainly not close with them. I know a few ISFJs though and I think I have general respect for them, though it would become clear if we were to get any closer that our values and needs would be different and there might be conflict. I'm huge on autonomy, especially emotional autonomy, and tend to get drained really fast talking about or focusing heavily on relationships, the here-and-now, people and their lives, day to day stuff, chit chat, that kind of thing.My best friend is and INTJ and while she is quite um... honest and open about what she thinks, I was just curious what the general opinion of INTJs on ESFJs was? Thanks!!
I have an ESFP friend who has the same complimentary status. I learned a hell of a lot from her when it comes to my social blindness. I also helped her out too, she always had me to remind her to take a jacket when we went out and we'd always have fare to get home. Heh.She's the only person I know that I know for sure is an INTJ. It took awhile to come to an understanding, when we first met just as acquaintances, she thought I was a brat and I thought she was quiet and shy(boy, was i wrong!). After getting on each other's nerves for about 5 years we finally got to the point where we could stand each other and then after that moved to an actual friendship but I still didn't understand why she would want to spend hours alone doing nothing but reading with no social interaction and i just continued to get on her nerves with my over-zealous personality. Somehow over the past few years, we've overcame that and now we're best friends. Over time we've each learned to adjust to the other. She's brought my happy little self down a few notches and showed me its not scary to be alone. I'm also about the only person that she will let intrude on her "alone time". On the other hand, she's now a little more willing to go to a party or hang out with friends if i'm there to act as a sort of buffer. We've learned to understand each other rather than bug each other which has ended up in a friendship where we each compliment one another.
Disclaimer:"They actually have great conviction and followthrough, so in the bubble of their mind they see themselves as as deep as the Marianas trench. But their perception is so pathetically stunted that few of their notions are in line with reality. It follows, and it is the case actually, that they're forever oblivious to this. They die believing their isolated worldview isn't, finally because they're incapable of empathy, thus they ignore any relayed perception by truly keen analysts--Such as wisened INTPs.
This is why I universally advise avoidance of ESFJs to INTPs. You can observe their shortsightedness and understand how they function, but they can't observe you with any remotely objective perspective. You either fit their template of what should be, or not, and that's it. They don't understand motivations other than their own."