Yep. I'm an INTJ and I was recently diagnosed with bipolar II.
I wouldn't say that 'moody' is quite the right word for what I am... I know what you mean, but it sounds too affected and melodramatic for my subjective experience of myself. I was definitely a moody teenager, but as I've gotten older (I'm 22) I found that my moods started getting increasingly more unstable. I always struggled with mild depression, but the depressions started getting longer and deeper (eventually leading to intense suicidal ideation and self-harm), broken up by periods of extreme gregariousness, racing thoughts, overestimating my abilities, etc. Basically, I vacillate between thinking that the world is hopeless and there's nothing for me in it and thinking that there's nothing in it that I can't accomplish. Whereas I was pretty stereotypically INTJ as a kid/teen, I don't really look like it as much anymore; the person my family and friends knew in high school bears little resemblance to the person I've become in the last few years.
I haven't gone through too many drugs yet, but I'm currently taking lamotrigine (Lamictal) and weaning myself off of venlafaxine (Effexor) because my psychiatrist thinks it's shrinking my cycles.
I don't know what else to say besides that; I've done a ton of research, but I'm very much still in the process of figuring out what out means to me. It's been so much a part of my life in the past few years that I'm really struggling to delineate who I am from the person my illness has made me. I haven't spoken with very many people with bipolar yet, so I'd love to hear about your experiences if you're interested, either in this thread or via PM if you'd prefer a little more privacy.
Yes, knittigan, I agree with you about bipolar disorder. It is a pretty touchy subject for all of us. All of us have had our own dealings with it. Thank you, knittigan, for sharing your own personal experiences with bipolar disorder. It's nice to know that I'm not the only INTJ with bipolar disorder.
Hi, Clarity -- I don't know if you'll get this reply because it's been a while, and I just signed on. But I've had bp for 40 years (yes, 40), and I'm an INTJ female. It's been a tough road, but I managed, with good mental health professionals and other docs, to find ways to understand this disorder and manage it. I made a decent life for myself. I'm glad you're reaching out at such a young age. There are a lot of good meds, support groups, and options for you today. If I can be of help, please let me know. Remember, depression lies (and so does mania), so surround yourself with a few strong, patient, knowledgeable and caring people you trust who will keep you centered, and tell them to speak the truth to you in love, firmly, when you're spinning out, and promise you won't hate them for it (and then keep that promise.) It will hold you when you cannot hold yourself, and help to bypass all those hyper-rational, unhelpful coping mechanisms you'll throw up to keep people from getting close when you're cycling. Intellectualizing is not your friend; friends are your friends . Get out of your head and into the world (trees are great), and you can do this. And you can give your perceptive gifts to the world in ways no one else can. Be Blessed. Deb
Im also an INTJ (27 years old) and its been quite a time now that I'm suspecting i have bipolar disorder.
After i had read knittigan's comment i got it 100%. It's totally expressing me.
All this time I'm struggling to find what really interests me and i love;
if what i studied so far (architecture), is that what i really love.
there are times that i believe so much in myself and my abilities, that my head is full of ideas, I'm excited thinking of design and i believe that i will go very high on this field and in general in arts..
..and there are other times totally opposite. it doesn't interest me at all, i feel that I'm inadequate for that, that is very big for me and I'll get easily bored. Also i think very narrow minded that the world is so hopeless (as knittigan) and architects are feeding people's vanities at a large amount and i don't want to be a part of it.
At this phase of my life I'm feeling an extreme fatigue. i'm working as a design drafter and doing part time master in management. I'm finally almost finishing my masters and i have my last course assignment to do but its very difficult for me to do it. i cannot concentrate and I'm doing hours to write only one paragraph; as I'm realising this, is getting more down and i prefer spending hours doing nothing in bed.
Hey, I guess this again will pass and i ll get to my other exaggerated phase of being positive and energetic, but I'm so tired of this. i don't know how to control it and I'm negative to take medicine.
Despite the fact that I'm an attractive person and many guys are pursuing a relationship with me, i feel that is very difficult for someone to love me and stand all this rollercoaster character of mine.
knittigan, this is also true for me : 'Whereas I was pretty stereotypically INTJ as a kid/teen, I don't really look like it as much anymore; the person my family and friends knew in high school bears little resemblance to the person I've become in the last few years.'
I'm sharing this trying to figure out if u also find yourselves in some of my words.(as i found myself in knittigan's)
Im trying to solve my confusing self now and for sure any insight of yours would really help me!
Hi! This is from 2015, but here we go... I got typed INTJ by a few members here at PerC that helped me a lot. I was leaning towards ISTJ with INTJ cultural tendencies (that's what I wanted to be anyways), but when you have a Humor or Personality disorder it becomes difficult for you to know what is the You part of the equation, your personality, and what is the disorder. - Just writing about it know makes me second guess this whole thing. Hahaha.
Well, some way like Deena1587 here, I have Bipolar Disorder, I'm an INTJ, and I'm an architect, I'm 30 years old, and I have this phases that come and go, when I feel I'm on the top of everything, my career, my intellectual abilities, and there are the depressive phases, that each time becomes more deep and longer. Right now I'm taking Torval CR (Valproic acid, Sodium valproate, probably not the same thing as Depakote since it doesn't have the Valproic acid, right?) and it's been a great time. I feel like I'm balanced. I'm not feeling depressed but I'm also not hyper positive to the point of not being able to evaluate properly the current situation. And because I feel I can do this rational approach and I'm starting this new psychotherapy I want to do some "career coaching" sessions.
I don't think there is a correlation between personality types and humor and personality disorders - if anyone know medical studies I would love to read about it! But even if there is a correlation, it's so difficult to see the difference in between. What my last therapist said about it was that trough my severe depression I maintained high function abilities, probably because of my rational personality. It's good because you can keep your job most times, and go with it until the depressive phase ends, BUT she says there are many cases of suicide in people like me (and us, probably) because everyone around you sees you "getting up in the morning" and "doesn't think you are that bad" so they don't bother to help you with your depression, so you need to have good self knowledge and a strong net of professionals and family and friends that you can trust in those times to help you.
That's the difficult part, maybe: I hope I don't have such strong depression phases again, and if I do I will be able to notice it until it's too late and get some help, but if you don't notice it, what then?
Depression is a direct derivative from taking 100% of life on the account of the self, physical abilities, mental, social, etc. and not taking the supranatural into calculus. At the point of ultrasuccess or ultraloss, the self will not handle the emptyness of being a multibillionare or the social refuse of poverty, and then it will naturally meditate on death, as a salvation, or perspective giver.
Now death itself is a natural stage, but only if our cousciousness levels (17 of them) are VERY high.
Regarding to emotional stability. Testing trusting the Creators plan got me off that vortex. I trusted men and women. I trusted my mind. I trusted my power of influence. My strong body. My attractive looks. Trusted the probalities. Trusted the general of it all. But its not statistical by nature, its chaotic, but not random. Anyway, at one point, I guess I could say The Creator showed me a fraction from what Job went throught, and suddenly I wasnt that cool anylonger. I was just a no-one with the realisation that the meaning of life is: to live AND exit this place in Love and Peace. Perhaps, in your case, this a sign to take eternal into consideration and not at all that weird as the body is signalling it aspires something waaaay more calm than the vanity of this life
Well, if you understand that mental illness is mood disturbance that causes irrational behaviours, have the willpower to avoid your triggers, and gain a good control over your symptoms; then as long as you live a confident, healthy and socially productive lifestyle, you should, theoretically, be able to conquer bipolar disorder.
Sorry for the late reply. I wasn't getting the notifications.
Yes, in my case I can say you are 100% correct that my depression episodes always correlate with myself taking 100% of life account on my shoulders. I haven't realized it until now, but I can see a clear pattern. Thank you.
I'm super rational so I have a hard time believing in a higher power but whenever I did I always had this unfortunate feeling that I'm still too connected with this world and material things and I still have a long path to detach and learn.
Certainly there is a call that I feel, that comes out as an inquietude, that there is something wrong, that the way I have been living is not resulting in happiness, or any positive feelings in a matter of fact.
Thank you so much. I am in a time of need, I’ve been sensing I’m entering a new and 4[SUP]th[/SUP] depressive episode and have contacted my therapist before it’s too late again. I guess I have to contact many other people and find some other type of guidance too.
Rationality is this reality, super-rationality is the ultimate form of comprehending all reality, supracounsciousness included. Just that our focus as a race is jammed at the materialistic tangible sensorial reality, mainly. Thats the issue getting the N's sick and unhappy. The solution? Connecting to the meaning of this life. Why are we here, and where are we going afterwards.
So its not really you thats sick, its that you do not resonate with stupidity
Yes! I was reading that today there are more than 200 mental disorders in the DSM, so basically everything that is not considered "normal" is some sort of deviation. But maybe we live in a deeply disturbed society in general and people's quirks and things that differentiate one from the other are considered the problem.
If you feel depressed you are the problem. If you are manic, too. Well, there was a time when Drapetomania was considered a mental disorder. It was a hypothesis for why black slaves wanted to flee captivity. Well, isn’t it obvious that one wouldn’t want to be a slave? Isn’t it obvious that one would be deeply depressed in a sick world?
But while we can’t fight the reality we live in only one lifetime we need to find the purpose elsewhere or we go mad.
The why is infinitely more exciting, but only after the solution is clear; definetely not on the way of problem definition (which of the depression, etc so called deviations are symptoms of).
Now, if I, hypothetically, challenge your self belief system to even/ever doubt your sanity, the fermity required to respect your natural value set up is gone. On that shakyness I then can manipulate you to adopt a new set of values via the social pressure of the tyranny of the masses. Of course these masses would need to hold on to a trend, a pseudo-values trend for the normal individual to become constrained till, basically autodisturuction. This mass stupidity can be easily stimulated via arousal into lies, intrigue of the hidden and money. If I divide you from the ppl such yourself and steal your time (exchanging 40-80hrs of labour per week with low levels of income, such as under 1.2mil usd passive income per year) your mentally, physically and spiritually done.
But if you have a meltdown, and win the time on your side to reconsider all of the vanity of socioeco, then you actually have the chance to connect to yourself, reconnect to your childhood dreams and just say this: Nuff is nuff, I choose smt else. After that you will either continue the ratrace out of routine (habituations) or ... after some extremely unpleasant spiritual fails, you literally meet your Creator. The key is humbleness. And the year 1054.
From those two potential outcomes, I recommend the latter
We could use the concept of "Divide and conquer". To maintain the status quo you can use many division systems and keep people occupied fighting each other for religion beliefs, prejudices, money, etc. So if you keep people occupied battling themselves and their sanity, well I guess you won that war. You have a bunch of circles and triangles trying to fit a square hole that wasn’t made for them – they never will fit in! Unless we stop trying to fit in at all and respect each other the way we are.
Very good. You are also tangenting the why. But you gotta dive a bit deeper than that, unfortunately reason is not enough - so that you can become sure about the endgame solution.
"Unless we stop trying to fit in at all" Very accurate: That is, indeed, the nuclear foundation to it all.
Thats why intjs need to unite, and become who they really are.
(The alternative is race exctinction forreal during the next half of this generation .. if Im being positivist about it)
So Bipolars and the rest is really just ways to marginalize exceptional outbursts or inner calls for even break outs from the sensorial realities. Its amazing, what is on the other side, I mean. Its so big, no wonder no slave is ever let to enter - as they wouldnt be slaves anylonger, would they
Anyway, we are still having a Creator whos in FULL control of those energy vortices and time so .. I guess everyone will click one day to understanding the final form of reality
Yes, unfortunately reason it not enough. I know it because ooooh I have tried to reason it in many different ways and it's never enough. There is the need to something else to achieve the solution. There is a path ahead for sure.
I'm curious about your signature. All I got from Google Translator was "The mortal .. man .. hug .. is .. the most sincere you will ever get". What is the meaning of this?
17 levels of counsciousness. Reason just another perspective and is to be followed by love.
The meaning is this: Dying mans embracement is ... you will ever get. It means that if you want the unveiled truth, you may take it in serious consideration what that persons intentions are whos sharing that with you. If he's on his death bed, there is the realistic possibility he's telling the truth.
I had this major in our military service who said that. Was an INFP, outstanding warrior, great friend, great man.