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17 Posts
Hey guys. So this is how it is for me as an ENFP male. I saw this on another webstie and ill copy and paste.
"Between my normal casual persona [which I only reveal to close friends and family] I have two personas which I project:
My "self-protective" alpha male persona... I spontaneously adapt a deep voice, aggressive body language, a slow, concentrated way of doing things... Just your classic tough guy... And it works. It sort of "comes on" when I'm tired, feel like I'm being condescended, apprehensive, angry, etc... And when it does, people back the fuck down... The only problem is, when people take it at face value and I don't get a chance to show them my friendlier/more cooperative side afterwards, I become depressed because I feel like I presented an inauthentic self to them... And that they will forever see me as "just" that instead...
My secondary persona... Which I also manifest without any control is a childish, bumbling, subservient, beta male persona... Basically your classic "Gilligan/Sponge Bob" idiot. This sort of comes on in situations when I feel over-extended and that people's expectations of me are either too narrow or too high.
This is basically me in a nutshell. My "Alpha-male persona" It comes on when im around other men, my frat brothers, or even people I dont know. I can seem hard and introverted. I lower my voice, appear more masculine, put away any qualities that can be seen as feminine, and go with the flow. I do martial arts (since I was 5) and weightlift a ton (Ive been a weightlifter since in high school because I was teased brutally throughout gradeschool and middle school. Beat up, called gay and prissy, had food and stuff thrown at me in class. So one day I had enough of going home and started beating the crap out of them all). However, I act like this as a...protection. Like most ENFP's, im extremely sensitive and want people to like me, and not attack my personality or my way of life. This brings a darkness out of me that I do, and dont, like at all. For example, Ill be in a line for lunch standing with my headphones in, blaring T.I, Lil'Wayne, or Drake, And people tend to leave me alone and if they dont know me, think im some type of "bad boy" with his hood up, headphones on, and muscles bulging underneath his sweatjacket. However, people who know me personally say im "In the zone." haha. And approach me. When I recognize them, im back into Happy ENFP mode and go from having "Fuck off" stamped on my forehead to "Hey man, long time no see. How are you? How is your day today?". Im like this 50% of the time, the other 50, Im walking with pride down the street examining the world around me with a smile on my face, feeling the breeze, and life in general. Such a beatiful world right? Then I see something, some injustice, like a story abut problems between the israeli's and Palestinian on CNN, or see some bumpersticker that says "A village in Kenya is missing its idiot" or " Going to Iraq? Lets Nuke em." that feels like a slap in the face and puts me back into the dark abyss. The "People suck, why do they have to be so cruel and not try and understand?" mode.
When im around people I know, and think I can act myself around, im far more bouncy and ENFP like. Its like watching a comedy show. Ill be cracking jokes and singing "I believe in a thing called love. Just listen to the rhythm of my heart!"<< If you know that song. You are awesome. Half my friends are men, and half are women. I love hanging out with both and getting their opinions on life in general, enjoying their company, and enjoying them as a person entirely. When I go to parties or frat events. I stay off on the sidelines taking everything in, processing, talking to people I know, before venturing out and meeting new people too see what they are like. I usually shyly come over and listen for awhile before talking.
When it comes to my friends...whoa...Talk about protective. I was at a party and a dude who was being a prick came out and called an openly gay classmate a "******." (he knew what he was doing was wrong) I came around the corner with arms raised ready to put his head into the coffee table. Which one of my friends had to stop me and tell me to go cool off. Which reminds me of another thing. ENFP males, do they hold grudges in some ways? Ill forgive easily, but I dont forget for months. Especially if its a personal attack on me or someone else.
When it comes to relationships, I have had girlfriends. two. Women do seem to be drawn towards me (which leaves other men asking "How do you do it?" and I have no idea) But I cant imagine an LTR with MOST women. "Too needy, Too vain, Too...is that a knife in her purse O_O?!" Im extremely picky and will know when I find her. That does not say I have crushes haha. When I crush, I crush HAAAARD. Its like a chick flick! LOL. I have the puppy dog eyes and im trying to run into the girl when I can (without seeming like a creeper.) I think about her all day and daydream. Its so obvious. Once I pick up the courage to ask her to get coffee usually Its akward or its dead on. Awkward version= "Hey, wanna go get some coffee? I mean, If you like Coffee...or tea....or soda."" and im thinking "Ive already said too much." lol. I think it sounds awful, but typically (and too my luck) they get a kick out of it. So its win/win.
Anyway, there's my rant (hopefully it wasnt too painful) Anything sound super ENFP like? Or does it all haha? Are their any other ENFP males that have the same traits? or am I loner?
"Between my normal casual persona [which I only reveal to close friends and family] I have two personas which I project:
My "self-protective" alpha male persona... I spontaneously adapt a deep voice, aggressive body language, a slow, concentrated way of doing things... Just your classic tough guy... And it works. It sort of "comes on" when I'm tired, feel like I'm being condescended, apprehensive, angry, etc... And when it does, people back the fuck down... The only problem is, when people take it at face value and I don't get a chance to show them my friendlier/more cooperative side afterwards, I become depressed because I feel like I presented an inauthentic self to them... And that they will forever see me as "just" that instead...
My secondary persona... Which I also manifest without any control is a childish, bumbling, subservient, beta male persona... Basically your classic "Gilligan/Sponge Bob" idiot. This sort of comes on in situations when I feel over-extended and that people's expectations of me are either too narrow or too high.
This is basically me in a nutshell. My "Alpha-male persona" It comes on when im around other men, my frat brothers, or even people I dont know. I can seem hard and introverted. I lower my voice, appear more masculine, put away any qualities that can be seen as feminine, and go with the flow. I do martial arts (since I was 5) and weightlift a ton (Ive been a weightlifter since in high school because I was teased brutally throughout gradeschool and middle school. Beat up, called gay and prissy, had food and stuff thrown at me in class. So one day I had enough of going home and started beating the crap out of them all). However, I act like this as a...protection. Like most ENFP's, im extremely sensitive and want people to like me, and not attack my personality or my way of life. This brings a darkness out of me that I do, and dont, like at all. For example, Ill be in a line for lunch standing with my headphones in, blaring T.I, Lil'Wayne, or Drake, And people tend to leave me alone and if they dont know me, think im some type of "bad boy" with his hood up, headphones on, and muscles bulging underneath his sweatjacket. However, people who know me personally say im "In the zone." haha. And approach me. When I recognize them, im back into Happy ENFP mode and go from having "Fuck off" stamped on my forehead to "Hey man, long time no see. How are you? How is your day today?". Im like this 50% of the time, the other 50, Im walking with pride down the street examining the world around me with a smile on my face, feeling the breeze, and life in general. Such a beatiful world right? Then I see something, some injustice, like a story abut problems between the israeli's and Palestinian on CNN, or see some bumpersticker that says "A village in Kenya is missing its idiot" or " Going to Iraq? Lets Nuke em." that feels like a slap in the face and puts me back into the dark abyss. The "People suck, why do they have to be so cruel and not try and understand?" mode.
When im around people I know, and think I can act myself around, im far more bouncy and ENFP like. Its like watching a comedy show. Ill be cracking jokes and singing "I believe in a thing called love. Just listen to the rhythm of my heart!"<< If you know that song. You are awesome. Half my friends are men, and half are women. I love hanging out with both and getting their opinions on life in general, enjoying their company, and enjoying them as a person entirely. When I go to parties or frat events. I stay off on the sidelines taking everything in, processing, talking to people I know, before venturing out and meeting new people too see what they are like. I usually shyly come over and listen for awhile before talking.
When it comes to my friends...whoa...Talk about protective. I was at a party and a dude who was being a prick came out and called an openly gay classmate a "******." (he knew what he was doing was wrong) I came around the corner with arms raised ready to put his head into the coffee table. Which one of my friends had to stop me and tell me to go cool off. Which reminds me of another thing. ENFP males, do they hold grudges in some ways? Ill forgive easily, but I dont forget for months. Especially if its a personal attack on me or someone else.
When it comes to relationships, I have had girlfriends. two. Women do seem to be drawn towards me (which leaves other men asking "How do you do it?" and I have no idea) But I cant imagine an LTR with MOST women. "Too needy, Too vain, Too...is that a knife in her purse O_O?!" Im extremely picky and will know when I find her. That does not say I have crushes haha. When I crush, I crush HAAAARD. Its like a chick flick! LOL. I have the puppy dog eyes and im trying to run into the girl when I can (without seeming like a creeper.) I think about her all day and daydream. Its so obvious. Once I pick up the courage to ask her to get coffee usually Its akward or its dead on. Awkward version= "Hey, wanna go get some coffee? I mean, If you like Coffee...or tea....or soda."" and im thinking "Ive already said too much." lol. I think it sounds awful, but typically (and too my luck) they get a kick out of it. So its win/win.
Anyway, there's my rant (hopefully it wasnt too painful) Anything sound super ENFP like? Or does it all haha? Are their any other ENFP males that have the same traits? or am I loner?