Joined
·
26 Posts
Ok, so I need some advice from some INTP's...
So I have been seeing an INTP for about 3 months. It started out completely platonic, he was a friend of a friend. Our mutual friend invited us both to the beach for 10 days and we hit it off. Nothing romantic happened at the beach, but after we left, we talked about twice a week on the phone and the phone calls were between 4 and 7 hours (which is crazy, I have never been on the phone withe someone that long EVER). He eventually asked me to come up to the city where he lives and stay with him for two weeks and at this point it was still platonic. Once I got up there, the first night we had some champagne and..well, we hooked up and continued to the rest of the time I was up there. I left after two weeks - and then a week later her asked me to come back up. I came back up for a month until he went on vacation with his family for two weeks. Every night on vacation he would call me or we would video chat on skype. Then he asked me to come up AGAIN and stay until I left for Switzerland (I am going for a year).
Ok, so now that I'm done with the back story... A couple of days before I left, I asked him what he wanted to do while I was gone and if he wanted to continue this. He said that he really liked me and wanted to try to make this work, but is scared to (his words) "place all of his emotions" in this situation. Which I can understand because he has been hurt in the past, his ex girlfriend went out of the country for 3 months and ended up sleeping with three different guys. He also said that he didn't want to meet other people but "didn't want to be afraid to either", which really hurt and confused me.
I understand that he isn't very good at explaining his emotions, so I think what he meant by saying he "didn't want to be afraid" to meet other people, was that he was scared to completely commit because of the pain he felt in the past. But once I explained to him that I understood why he was scared and that I was willing to put in the work, he said that he "wants me in his life for a long time" and that "if we were in Fiddler on the Roof, and the match maker was matching us, we would be a perfect match". (He is much better at explaining his emotions through metaphors - I don't know if this is common for INTP's haha). And before I left he gave me a teddy bear to take to Switzerland and he named it "INTP (his name) Jr" and said to cuddle with it and it will be like cuddling with him.
This might be a really confusing post, but this whole situation is confusing to me! It's just really hard because I don't quite understand his emotions. I am just wondering if any INTP's on here might be able to translate this for me. I have tried to bring it up but I can't seem to explain myself to him in a way that he understands. He says "let's just go with the flow and if this is supposed to work out it will." But I just want something more concrete - I want him to say that he likes me and WANTS this to work out and that he doesn't want to be with anyone else.
HELP!
So I have been seeing an INTP for about 3 months. It started out completely platonic, he was a friend of a friend. Our mutual friend invited us both to the beach for 10 days and we hit it off. Nothing romantic happened at the beach, but after we left, we talked about twice a week on the phone and the phone calls were between 4 and 7 hours (which is crazy, I have never been on the phone withe someone that long EVER). He eventually asked me to come up to the city where he lives and stay with him for two weeks and at this point it was still platonic. Once I got up there, the first night we had some champagne and..well, we hooked up and continued to the rest of the time I was up there. I left after two weeks - and then a week later her asked me to come back up. I came back up for a month until he went on vacation with his family for two weeks. Every night on vacation he would call me or we would video chat on skype. Then he asked me to come up AGAIN and stay until I left for Switzerland (I am going for a year).
Ok, so now that I'm done with the back story... A couple of days before I left, I asked him what he wanted to do while I was gone and if he wanted to continue this. He said that he really liked me and wanted to try to make this work, but is scared to (his words) "place all of his emotions" in this situation. Which I can understand because he has been hurt in the past, his ex girlfriend went out of the country for 3 months and ended up sleeping with three different guys. He also said that he didn't want to meet other people but "didn't want to be afraid to either", which really hurt and confused me.
I understand that he isn't very good at explaining his emotions, so I think what he meant by saying he "didn't want to be afraid" to meet other people, was that he was scared to completely commit because of the pain he felt in the past. But once I explained to him that I understood why he was scared and that I was willing to put in the work, he said that he "wants me in his life for a long time" and that "if we were in Fiddler on the Roof, and the match maker was matching us, we would be a perfect match". (He is much better at explaining his emotions through metaphors - I don't know if this is common for INTP's haha). And before I left he gave me a teddy bear to take to Switzerland and he named it "INTP (his name) Jr" and said to cuddle with it and it will be like cuddling with him.
This might be a really confusing post, but this whole situation is confusing to me! It's just really hard because I don't quite understand his emotions. I am just wondering if any INTP's on here might be able to translate this for me. I have tried to bring it up but I can't seem to explain myself to him in a way that he understands. He says "let's just go with the flow and if this is supposed to work out it will." But I just want something more concrete - I want him to say that he likes me and WANTS this to work out and that he doesn't want to be with anyone else.