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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
So as I am an INTP and my mom is an ENTP, it's quite obvious that out compatibility is pretty slim. What ends up happening is I will say something I just think is normal. As in this morning I said she should try learning latin. She says, is that to improve my brain? I say yeah because it keeps other, unused areas of your brain intact. My mom has really bad memory. So she immediately assumes that my just factually said statement is meant to criticize her. This happens all the time, and eventually (since she doesn't immediately approach it) the day wears out and by the end she's yelling and angry. Thinking I'm trying to criticize her and stuff, and then it ALWAYS gets onto the topic of her thinking I should leave the house. It's gotten to the point where I may say two things and she'll immediately start nitpicking what I'm saying, twisting it on me because she thinks we're fighting or something. Then she says you nitpicking everything about me. When she's nitpicking everything about me. Long story short, it's an awkward relationship. Being around her stresses me. And I keep on trying to teach her about the compatibility thing where when I do something she will at least first question how is this apart of my personality? I do it for her already. When she can't focus on one of my stories I just brush it aside. Or if she hates my music its just because my music can be dissonant. However, she won't even do that. She's close minded at times, and it can be aggravating. As well, the only way I've ever determined a solution is by literally taking ten minutes to explain to her exactly why I said something, how I was thinking when I said it, and what I had in it for me to say. (Like why she wouldn't go up a hill to see a view of the neighborhood, when she tells me it's because it's near my stepmoms house. Immediately I start asking questions and saying I don't think that way, and that it shouldn't effect the places you can and cant go. She then gets angry even though all I was trying to do was learn. She thinks I was criticizing her.) Anyways, to even do (which I've only been able to do once) she usually walks away or interrupts me (cause she thinks it's a fight), but when I do get it all out, we usually stop fighting. (I don't have a strong enough emotional attachment to things to criticize like that!)

Okay, now that the background's established, my question is does anyone else experience this? As in, a genuine impasse in characters. See I tend to say things mostly playful and she takes it as condescending no matter what I do. Second, does anyone know how to solve this impasse? Just ignoring this situation isn't working and it's taking a toll on me and having her constantly threaten to kick me out simply because of an impasse is stressful nonetheless. I would really appreciate a response :)

Also, I hope this bit of writing shed some light on maybe other relationships and I helped in that way :)
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
It's hard to tell. I checked how our personalities relate and she responds to a T to what I read. She tends to also feel like she needs to watch everything she does around me which is true to the compatibility. However, she also has a tendency to pride herself of things she isn't. As in, if she took the test, she would likely answer based on what she would want to be, rather than what she tends to do. So I don't really know. She seems VERY much like an ENTP. In most regards at least. She may be low in the T
 

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Have you tried just talking to her about all this? If you think she'll take it the wrong way, why don't you write it down as a letter and give it to her. Stay out of the way while she reads it so she thinks about it before she attacks you. Make it very clear that there's no double meaning to what you write - she's making you uncomfortable and you want to avoid conflict. She has to stop assuming things that don't make sense and stop putting you under stress.

The good thing about it being in writing is that the information is right there in front of her and she can't blame things on how you say them.
 

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I agree she doesn't sound like an ENTP. ENTPs are not closed minded but are very argumentative. They argue for sport and if you are able to show them they are wrong they wiil flip and deny they ever took that side to start with. Can be very unreasonable as well. I know I married one.
 
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