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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I constantly see threads on this forum that more or less all say, "I know this INTP. I think they're great and all, except I can't tell if they love me, or would be happy if I fell off a cliff. How do I know what they're thinking?" Well you poor hapless soul, allow us to explain. This forum is intended to be a reference guide to INTP communication related idiosyncrasies.
1.) If we don't respond to a text or call quickly (within 2 days) We are probably distracted and meaning to get back to you. If it takes a third day, then try again. Wait two more days. If you still don't get a response, eh, maybe something's up.
2.) If we say something along the lines of, "I feel like/as though..." That's a big deal. That means that said feeling has been resolved in our head and escaped the pesky Ti/Ne logical filter. It's rare for us to describe something as a feeling, so take that into consideration.
3.) If we decline a social invitation, that means very little. In fact, we often would like to go, but don't have the patience left to deal with people for a very long time. We tend to be a fairly introverted type even among other introverts. We need a lot of alone time
4.) If we seem disgruntled for seemingly no reason, that means more often or not that we are trying to work something out in our heads and aren't able to do so. It does not necessarily mean we are mad at YOU.
5.) We are sort of like easily distracted cats. If during the conversation we start to drift off into space, you can reel us back in with a conversational treat like talking about something you know we are passionate about. We may even take over the conversation. Then we'll drift again. Sorry, we just do that.

Please feel free to add your own conversation tips down below, or feel free to edit mine. I hope this thread helps.
 

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This seems stereotypical and unnessecary. If you have something to say ask it in the most blunt, empirical fashion. Then if I start beating around the bush about it it means I've thought a whole lot and feel a whole lot about it. Especially if I try to manipulate the conversation to make you say the answer.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Fair enough. Just read a lot of posts like this lately. Been egging me a little bit. Rereading this now, it comes off as a little patronizing and as you said stereotypical and unnecessary. Oh well. Maybe things will come of it, maybe they won't. That said, it would be great if there was such a thing as an intention translator. I just don't always pick up what people are throwing down in terms of conversation. While a bit self/group deprecating, I do enjoy the cat analogy. I dunno, I just like it.
 

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5.) We are sort of like easily distracted cats. If during the conversation we start to drift off into space, you can reel us back in with a conversational treat like talking about something you know we are passionate about. We may even take over the conversation. Then we'll drift again. Sorry, we just do that.
I don't really like cats that much, especially the introverted and neurotic ones (which watch you from behind a curtain for half an hour, then get distracted of a fly flying by). I'm more of a dog person.

So it's weird that I'm now the one being referred as such. :laughing:

Not that I'm hurt or anything. That would be a misassumption.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
I don't really like cats that much, especially the introverted and neurotic ones (which watch you from behind a curtain for half an hour, then get distracted of a fly flying by). I'm more of a dog person.

So it's weird that I'm now the one being referred as such. :laughing:

Not that I'm hurt or anything. That would be a misassumption.

Why stop at cats and dogs? Maybe we are like fruit bats, but no one has ever really stereotyped fruit bats.

THIS COULD BE US! (not to offend anyone of course)


The look on his face is oddly familiar. (/facetious)

Edit: I'm actually kinda digging the fruit bat analogy. This may be our new mascot!
 

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I was expecting an INTP manual for how to communicate with others.
Instead, others can learn to understand us.
I do not want to be understood.
I cannot let them know my feelings.
My inner thoughts are private.
Our minds are complex.
We cannot make them un-complex.
They will figure out who I am.
I will not be able to respond.
What is communication?
Halp.
Do you understand what I am saying?
Not you, INTP.
I'm talking to other people.
But others do not understand me.
How communicate?
What?
infowni oefoe eokeo.
Akfo fom.
Meep.
 

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2.) If we say something along the lines of, "I feel like/as though..." That's a big deal. That means that said feeling has been resolved in our head and escaped the pesky Ti/Ne logical filter. It's rare for us to describe something as a feeling, so take that into consideration.
I would put a caveat on this one. I use feel and think interchangeably. Doesn't mean I'm feeling anything at all, just another word I use for my thought process without really thinking about what it conveys. Habit I guess. Anyways, I'd say, know what our communication style is. If you never hear us say "I feel" then it means something when we say it.
 

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Speak in a language we understand. Or have enough body language and inflection in your voice to give us context clues. We may respond in like fashion if we deem appropriate and have thought of a response. Until we show signs of lost interest or have heard a response, wait silently. Interrupting will only make us 1) frustrated 2) wished we stayed in bed and 3) view the conversation we are having with you as completely useless.

Just remember these 3 tips:
1) Talk.
3) Listen quietly.
4) Realize you forgot step 2, so you just threw in a step 4.

Too lazy to edit that.
 

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Speak in a language we understand. Or have enough body language and inflection in your voice to give us context clues. We may respond in like fashion if we deem appropriate and have thought of a response. Until we show signs of lost interest or have heard a response, wait silently. Interrupting will only make us 1) frustrated 2) wished we stayed in bed and 3) view the conversation we are having with you as completely useless.
This so much.if you ask me a question, give me a bit of time to ponder it and formulate my answer.AND in my case, pausing means I'm still pondering whilst replying, please don't interrupt or I grow weary of the conversation very,very fast.
 

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Speak in a language we understand. Or have enough body language and inflection in your voice to give us context clues. We may respond in like fashion if we deem appropriate and have thought of a response. Until we show signs of lost interest or have heard a response, wait silently. Interrupting will only make us 1) frustrated 2) wished we stayed in bed and 3) view the conversation we are having with you as completely useless.

Just remember these 3 tips:
1) Talk.
3) Listen quietly.
4) Realize you forgot step 2, so you just threw in a step 4.

Too lazy to edit that.
Very much agreed with everything said yet. I can just add:

1) Don't get upset if we switch off and don't listen the conversation/question. This is not personal. I simply started analyzing and overthinking something you've said or I try hard not to correct you/cut in because of something ridiculous you've said. Sometimes you have to be patient. And, please, that doesn't mean I hate you or I'm stupid...

2)Saying again: Learn to listen without cutting in or I will just stop talking to you about important stuff. Why should I speak if you don't want to listen?

3)DON'T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS. Oh you think you know me soooo well? Great. Maybe you can tell me something about who I am, what I like and don't like, what I value? Love hearing all about who I am and what I can't do... -.-

4)Don't be upset because I'm sarcastic. I don't hate you or criticize you.
I understand what you are saying but twisting it is just too much fun:happy:

EDIT: Oh and one more thing:
5) The "open up an INTP woman and help her find her VULNERABLE side" is just... Not. Good. Move.
 

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EDIT: Oh and one more thing:
5) The "open up an INTP woman and help her find her VULNERABLE side" is just... Not. Good. Move.
Yes. Can't tell you how many times I've been faced with that situation. I might be squishy on the inside, but I sure don't want you to find it for me.

You would have better luck getting a restraining order filed against you. :tongue:
 

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Phones... I know they're a current obsession, but I hate them. By that, I mean actual calls. Always have. Not sure if this is a general INTP thing, but I'm awkward with both beginning AND ending calls, and my goal is to find out the reason for the call, accomplish it, and end the call as soon as possible. Maybe it's because there are none of those facial and body language cues. I'm bad enough figuring out the implications and subtext in a conversation when there is one WITH those cues.
 

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Oh...verbal shorthand. Sometimes you may hear what may seem like a random string of sentences and then find out it was an explanation or directions, perhaps a theory about some subject. Sorry if it was confusing, it made sense in the INTP brain, but we probably don't remember all the steps in between, and just expect people to be able to fill in the gaps and understand what the hell we were just talking about. Just a warning, though.. if you ASK for more information, you will get it.. tons of it. It'll go from 'Here's A, Q and..therefore Z' to the entire history of the alphabet, including diversions into the Bible, (Alpha and Omega), wolfpack dynamics, and the fraternity system....
 

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I constantly see threads on this forum that more or less all say, "I know this INTP. I think they're great and all, except I can't tell if they love me, or would be happy if I fell off a cliff. How do I know what they're thinking?" Well you poor hapless soul, allow us to explain. This forum is intended to be a reference guide to INTP communication related idiosyncrasies.
1.) If we don't respond to a text or call quickly (within 2 days) We are probably distracted and meaning to get back to you. If it takes a third day, then try again. Wait two more days. If you still don't get a response, eh, maybe something's up.
I would add to this, that when you text again, write something worth replying to. Not to be mean, but the main reason I blow off texts or delay responding is because I have nothing to add, or it's just smalltalk or superficial conversation that can be a real chore to respond to sometimes. If you want to grab an INTP's attention, you need to engage his/her mind. If you engage an INTP in deep conversation, you may find they won't shut up. Superficial stuff is hit or miss.
 

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I think we are definitely...

Unicorns.
Too many people have this notion that because we're intellectual we're boring and serious all the time. Bah!

We have Ne

You know, that function that makes ENTPs, ENFPs, and even INFPs, all creative, wild and random!? We're fun in that sort of bat shit crazy way. We're just selective in regards to whom he show it to:tongue:




And I would SO rock the unicorn as my mascot:crazy:
 
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