Personality Cafe banner
1 - 2 of 2 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
143 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Okay, well, this is a whole issue, thing.

Note that I am not entirely sure of his type but I believe he's an ESTJ - he's not really interested in personality typing. Very individualistic.

Last year when I met my ESTJ lover, I gave him a lot of birthday presents. He's a little... strange in that he thought his birthday didn't matter for reasons I don't wish to express on his behalf. In any case, this year, I attempted to get him a gift but it didn't work out due to postage problems and financial issues on my part. He'd been waiting but when I broke the news that I wasn't able to get him the gift at this time, he told me he felt, 'heavy hearted,' and just generally upset. The night was spent reflecting on this. This morning and afternoon was spent with both of us in silence, until I broke it to attempt to speak to him again. This went on well for about 2 hours until we straggled back onto the topic again, and it ended with him asking me not to talk to him for the rest of the night.

What's strange is we weren't arguing. I try not to argue with him because he ends up thinking we're in a contest and it's just extremely not fruitful. I was merely telling him that I loved him and I hope he feels better.

He ended this with the following:


1. He no longer wants to celebrate his birthday.
2. He no longer wants me to give him any gifts.
3. He wants to forget this ever happened.

It just seems... childish. And strange. I don't really know how to deal with him when he gets like this over issues that seem minuscule to me. He went as so far to say he wasn't meant to have the item he desired.

I was wondering if I could get some advice on this.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
21 Posts
I think he's probably hurt because he felt you didn't properly plan for his birthday. I would have taken the situation as "She knows my birthday, it is the one special day of the year for me. Why wouldn't she have even planned far in advance, or got my gift earlier on when she had more money?". Asking to not celebrate his birthday is going a bit far though. Hopefully he changes his mind later on.

Maybe apologize for not having planned properly for his birthday. Maybe that's all he's asking for.
 
1 - 2 of 2 Posts
Top