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As an INTP, I've noticed recently that I often act excessively polite, boring, and "fake" when around new people (and also when around familiar people, in an awkward situation). I've also seen this in INTP friends, especially when talking to SJ types. My thoughts are that we're forced to use our inferior Fe in unknown social situations, but we don't do it very well; it can sometimes seem a bit unnatural, especially for a young INTP who hasn't developed their Fe much yet. We can't simply act like an INTJ and totally not care, so we end up coming off as insincere (at least, at first).

So, any similar experiences? Do ISTPs do this too?
 

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This is actually quite a difficult question. Social life, for me at least, is a balancing act between a desire for clarity or truth and commonsense. I do not want to lie to people and I often need a good reason to even justify moderating my words so that they at least don't cause offence to other peoples' egos. Commonsense, though, often dictates that you should pick your battles and not try to fight everyone. You have to try to get along with people, even just for the fact that you do have social needs or needs that can only be met by others. There is also a genuine interest in how other people think, behave, live etc. So in most cases I know that my essential nature isn't exactly comfortable for other people so I moderate it.

Is that fake? Probably. Does it come across that way? I think it may do sometimes. So when I'm in a group of new people, I'm in the process of deciding whether or not I'm suited to this group. It takes energy to just be there and even more energy to hold up a façade. Sometimes I'm already reluctant to spend more time with these people, I stop caring, the image slips and I come across as fake. If it's really important that I be accepted by the group then the energy stays high and image holds for longer. How successful I am is debatable- sometimes I'm amazed that people are fooled by my nice guy act, then sometimes no matter how well I'm putting it on no one's buying. Maybe the type mix is important? All in all, I can act slightly enthusiastic, agreeable, focused and determined for at least half an hour at a time.

Barring that I do try to be polite all of the time, even with people I know quite closely. I suppose that can be seen as fake as well. It's that I have found, through experience, that a quietly-spoken, measured tone coupled with a courteous manner works best for me in most situations. That has more to do with commitment issues than INTP issues, I think. The more annoyed with people I get the more I put them at arm's length with excessive politeness. Oh, and lobbing pot shots over the heads of some particularly annoying luddites while still being irreproachably polite, is one of life's little pleasures.
 

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I definitely don't unleash my true side until I know the person more. Then, if I know they can handle it or if they've accepted me as one of their own, I start acting like myself. Or if they are acting like I normally act, then I don't even bother trying to put up a facade.
 

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MOTM July 2015
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Rather than being exaggerratedly polite I seem even more detached, kind of like subconsciously trying to not be a stimuli to the environment. I suspect it's some weird technique of provoking others to try and trigger a reaction. I've no idea what purpose might my instincts have in it tbh. Perhaps to test how they will act at first and how their behavior will shift over time, a weird way to type them, maybe?
 

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Oh yes, I've definitely noticed this with myself. I wouldn't necessarily call it fake as much as it isn't natural. It makes me think of the dreaded high fructose corn syrup (insert horrified scream) vs. "natural cane sugar" (ohh, ahh). If you don't pay attention too closely, you probably won't notice the difference. It's the same with a lot of people. As long as you display the appropriate social niceties with something in the area of finesse, no one will notice if it's fake or not.
 

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Lolo, I tend to do this. As mentioned I don't necessarily consider it fakeness, mostly cautiousness.

You know, there have been times when sometime the other person would open up so much to me that I would sort of let down my ease and wrongly assume "hey, maybe I can relax a little and make a joke". So I make a joke that likely seems very out of character and causes a huge uncomfortable silence and so I rewind again.
 

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i don't act fake, but i do act very boring.


my quarantine room is very boring
 
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For P's you guys tend to actually judge a lot.

I don't get enough real life exposure with INTP, but everyone here seems so cool.
 

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The real me is not employable. I'm irritable, anti-social, and opinionated... in the interest of making money without being hassled all the time, I wear the camouflage of being meek, boring, and polite. I'm a wolf in sheep's clothing.
 

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The real me is not employable. I'm irritable, anti-social, and opinionated... in the interest of making money without being hassled all the time, I wear the camouflage of being meek, boring, and polite. I'm a wolf in sheep's clothing.
Haha. Same here. I'm sure my colleagues think I'm some sort of FJ type.
 
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