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Discussion Starter #1
I do.

It's not that I don't like women, I just don't fit in with the majority of them. I can't relate, and I find myself having to fake it a bit so that I don't stick out like a sore thumb. I get bored and zone out of conversations. I end up hanging out with guys instead. I'm much more at ease around men.

Obviously I'm making huge generalisations here, and there are of course exceptions to the rule. Some of my closest friends are women (mostly INTJs and ISTJs).

What about the rest of you girls? Do you have this problem too?
 

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I do! The vast majority of my friends are male because I can relate to them much better, for some reason. The female friends a do have are INTJs or INFJs (the close one'e anyway). I have never been able to explain why I get a long better with men, It just happens that way. If anyone can shed some light on why, I'd very much appreciate it.
 
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Yep, definitely, especially the stereotypical portrait of women.
I have met a couple of females I can actually relate to honestly and without faking - and the act of faking makes me feel so uncomfortable; I imagine some invisible camera observing my actions and become ashamed of my acting, I feel ordinary.

Recently, I don't even try anymore, I just blurt out my thoughts and opinions confidently and with pride.
Some things I can honestly relate to, though, then I'm surprised and become enthusiastic about it.
 

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I don't know what it is about this site...but I can relate to so many woman here. I feel so much better because I thought it was me. Yes, I know I'm online...but I'm talking intellectually/emotionally..really interact and laugh and talk. That really never happens even online. So yes, in my real life, I don't have a single girlfriend. They are all insane and stupid...the ones I know...which I guess I avoid them so I don't know many ha. Here I feel like grabbing the flares, setting things on fire and screaming,"there are people here and they use their brains!!!"
 

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As a woman I object to the term "typical woman" as you have defined it, because it is insulting to my sex. I know there are women that conform to limitations and stereotypes created by society and the media, but I believe those women are atypical, rather than typical.


I see myself as a typical woman and the topic of relationships, weddings, babies, and dieting has never popped-up in any conversation with me. Most women (typical women) have a lot more on their mind and just as many varying interests as men.

I do not think men are better, more intelligent, or more interesting than women, nor do I think I that women are better, more intelligent, or more interesting than men. I do not think there is such a thing as a "typical" man or woman.


My best friends are all women, but they are "non-typical" women.

I can't relate to the topics that usually come up in an all-female group setting (relationships, men, weddings, babies, dieting, lack of interest in anything technical).
 

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As a woman I object to the term "typical woman" as you have defined it, because it is insulting to my sex. I know there are women that conform to limitations and stereotypes created by society and the media, but I believe those women are atypical, rather than typical.
My experience is that the majority of women in my surroundings are different from the way I am. So I see myself as "atypical" and the other women as "typical". This is not meant to be an insult.

And it is also my experience that most women are interested in the topics mentioned above. This is not meant to be an insult, either.
I am just trying to explain why I find it difficult to relate to a lot of women.
 

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Ever think maybe that you are surrounded by atypical women? I have encountered them before too, but from my experience I would say that the majority of women are not like how you have described just as the majority of men do not all sit around drinking beer and smoking cigars, while talking about sports, sex, and the latest barbeque grill that they bought.

Those are stereotypes. Most of the women and men that I have met are not stereotypes. I am not sure where it is that you live with all these stereotyped people, but maybe you should avoid drinking the water there.

My experience is that the majority of women in my surroundings are different from the way I am. So I see myself as "atypical" and the other women as "typical". This is not meant to be an insult.

And it is also my experience that most women are interested in the topics mentioned above. This is not meant to be an insult, either.
I am just trying to explain why I find it difficult to relate to a lot of women.
 

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What about the rest of you girls? Do you have this problem too?
strangely enough, no--but this is probably because i've known a ton of T women in my life. for example, the friend i'm with on vacation now, she's extremely T. the one conversation we've had on this trip about marriage and kids was about how she didn't want them, which is why her relationship with her bf's on the rocks. total gender reversal. :crazy:
 

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Ever think maybe that you are surrounded by atypical women? I have encountered them before too, but from my experience I would say that the majority of women are not like how you have described just as the majority of men do not all sit around drinking beer and smoking cigars, while talking about sports, sex, and the latest barbeque grill that they bought.

Those are stereotypes. Most of the women and men that I have met are not stereotypes. I am not sure where it is that you live with all these stereotyped people, but maybe you should avoid drinking the water there.
May I did not express myself correctly. For me, “being typical” is not the same as “corresponding to a stereotype”.
A stereotype is a cliché, while what I mean by “typical” is “applicable for the majority of members of a certain group/species”.

Obviously, what I perceive to be “typical” is based on my personal experience. So, yes, it is possible that I am actually surrounded by atypical women and judge their behavior as “typical”.

When I say most women are interested in certain topics, this does not mean that these women are exclusively interested in these topics or that they are limited to certain topics due to lack of intelligence.
But with most women I know, the topics I mentioned rank pretty high on the list of preferred conversational topics. And most women I know value these topics a lot higher than I do, which also makes it difficult for me to relate to them (and the other way round).

One example: most women I know either have children or would like to have children one day and think of having children as fulfilling in some way. I don't. It's not that I hate children or run away screaming at the sight of babies, but I can't really relate to small children and I am not especially keen on becoming a mother.
This can make a conversation difficult, simply because these are two very different attitudes.
 

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I also cannot easily rlate to other girls my age. I usually am quite talkative for a while, but then I get lost in my own little word and seem to forgot them. Apparently that either amuses them, or hurts them. I just can't relate to "Glee" though. I do tend to relate to my teaches, but I don't really relate to other adult women either. When my family goes to parties [we're a close neighborhood], I tend to stay with the adults and draw or read but would rather not really be there so...:tongue:

In conclusion, yes haha.
 

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I feel more at ease around men than women. I am not sure why but have a couple of ideas. I can relate to either sex about equally but have had more conflicts with women. There is just something about men that makes them more attractive. To put it bluntly, perhaps deep down I see all men as potential mates while all women are potential competitors. LOL. The T must have something to do with it, too. While some F's are so warm and cuddly that the extra work is really worth the effort, T's are generally easier to get along with than F's.
 

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Second that! :happy:
It is hard to relate or more like "fit in" with most people (adults, kids, girls, boys, men, and women). There are so many people on this ridiculous planet and they all have different feelings, thoughts, ideas, beliefs, experiences, and backgrounds. Finding people like yourself can be difficult and I's seem to have a harder time than E's. Being a little different is not as bad as at seems, though. Most of the time it is bennificial and there are some bennificial things to being introverted too. For instance, I's can be perfectly happy drawing or reading inside alone.

I also cannot easily rlate to other girls my age. I usually am quite talkative
for a while, but then I get lost in my own little word and seem to forgot them. Apparently that either amuses them, or hurts them. I just can't relate to "Glee" though. I do tend to relate to my teaches, but I don't really relate to other adult women either. When my family goes to parties [we're a close neighborhood], I tend to stay with the adults and draw or read but would rather not really be there so...:tongue:

In conclusion, yes haha.
 

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Yes, absolutely. I always thought it was just "me." I'd never thought of it as an INTP thing. I wonder what it is about our functions that makes this so? Maybe the T? (More males are T's). That said, I run into a man now and then that I absolutely cannot stand. I stayed at a hostel for awhile while I was sorting out my life in Indianapolis, and there was an older British housekeeper (male) there who went around whistling and singing all the time. I have nothing against music, and his voice was okay, but something about it made me want to strangle him. He also got in my personal business a couple times (both times making me look like a complete "inept" in front of other people), which infuriated me. To top it off, he told my roommate he didn't like me....No specific reason...He just didn't like me.
I think the "common denominator" among these men I have had an aversion to is *shallowness.* They see things only from their perspective, and usually it's a shallow one.
 

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I feel the same way. I do not know if it is attraction as I am not attracted to all men, but I think women now-a-days are more inclined to be aggressive and competitive in negative ways. There seems to be a lot more women bullying each other in the work place as well as young women and girls bullying each other at school. There have been studies showing that while the number of instances involving male bullying has been declining, the number of instances involving female bullying has been growing.


I know why those women behave the way they do, so it does not bother me so much as I can see through it, but at the same time it is draining to hang around women like that. Most of my experiences with men have not been like that.

I feel more at ease around men than women. I am not sure why but have a couple of ideas. I can relate to either sex about equally but have had more conflicts with women. There is just something about men that makes them more attractive. To put it bluntly, perhaps deep down I see all men as potential mates while all women are potential competitors. LOL. The T must have something to do with it, too. While some F's are so warm and cuddly that the extra work is really worth the effort, T's are generally easier to get along with than F's.
 

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Discussion Starter #20
Thanks for all the interesting replies. :)

I'm not sure whether this is an INTP thing or just me, but part of my being less at ease around women is that I worry about being seen as bitchy if I'm too direct or opinionated. With men, I feel like I'm allowed to be blunt without them taking it personally. On the same theme, I tend to be more submissive around women, and more dominant around men.

I realise this is irrational - I have some very blunt and opinionated female friends, and it doesn't offend me at all. So I don't know why it worries me. :unsure:
 
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