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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
This thread is intended for INTP females to respond to:

  1. When you break up with people (whichever way that goes), what do the remnants look like?
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  2. Are you left in tact, are your ex-partners? (In tact, as in emotionally. Some people react to breakups in extreme ways and lose it or disconnect emotionally for a long time afterwards, for example. Others may comment that the integrity of who they are has been displaced in a fairly substantial way.)
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  3. How long before you get into your next relationship?
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  4. Is your next choice likely to be much like your last, or substantially different?
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  5. Are you perceived as a heart breaker?
    .
  6. Do you notice any perculiar patterns in your relationship break-ups?

* If you don't have relationships or have never been in a break up, no need to post.
 

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Let me preface with the fact that all these relationships I'm discussing happened in my teens.
This thread is intended for INTP females to respond to:


  1. When you break up with people (whichever way that goes), what do the remnants look like?
    It depends on circumstances of the break up, as well as the other person. It has been very variable.
  2. Are you left in tact, are your ex-partners?
    Ultimately, of course. But we are always ever-changing individuals. Sometimes I've learned shitty lessons. Sometimes I am depressed for long periods of times. I've been ecstatic.
  3. How long before you get into your next relationship?
    It depends.
  4. Is your next choice likely to be much like your last, or substantially different?
    It varies.
  5. Are you perceived as a heart breaker?
    By some, probably. A slut, too. And I'm sure people just think I'm an asshole. But I don't have animosity with everyone.
  6. Do you notice any perculiar patterns in your relationship break-ups?
    Most were my doing


* If you don't have relationships or have never been in a break up, no need to post.
 
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I'm on good terms with my (long term) ex-partners. All three of them.

Are you left in tact, are your ex-partners?

What does this mean? Not sure what you're asking.

I've dated mostly IXXPs. Fun but incompatible in that our long-term goals tend to diverge after a while.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
I'm on good terms with my (long term) ex-partners. All three of them.

Are you left in tact, are your ex-partners?

What does this mean? Not sure what you're asking.

I've dated mostly INXPs. Fun but incompatible in that our long-term goals tend to diverge after a while.
Added (slight) further clarification to "in-tact." I don't mean physically disassembled. :)
 

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I avoid melodrama whenever possible. I still have no idea what you're talking about, though. Disconnect from what? Isn't disconnecting the point of breaking up with someone?
 

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When you break up with people (whichever way that goes), what do the remnants look like?

There's a lot of avoiding, and ignoring. We tend to go our separate ways and don't communicate with each other for weeks, or even months. Only a after awhile do either of us feel like talking to each other. The relationship, regardless of whether or not we agreed to be friends, is never quite as close afterwards.

Are you left in tact, are your ex-partners? (In tact, as in emotionally. Some people react to breakups in extreme ways and lose it or disconnect emotionally for a long time afterwards, for example. Others may comment that the integrity of who they are has been displaced in a fairly substantial way.)

Well if by intact you mean completely together, I suppose I stay pretty intact. I'm able to function, and I don't go all Bella Swan and completely collapse. There's definitely a huge emotional disconnect, though, especially to my friends. I go through maybe a week of 'extreme introversion' in which I will NOT talk to anybody. Even my closest friends. This time I use to try to get my emotions in check and get used to the breakup.

How long before you get into your next relationship?

I wait at least a month, sometimes a year. It depends on the breakup, and whether or not I really feel like getting back together with anyone else or not..

Is your next choice likely to be much like your last, or substantially different?

I try to date profoundly different guys each time. I went from an ISFJ, to an ESFP, to an ISFP. But they all have pretty much the same interests as me -- art, music, etc.

Are you perceived as a heart breaker?

Not sure. Usually my breakups are largely mutual, because both of us can typically see at what point the relationship stops working.

Do you notice any perculiar patterns in your relationship break-ups?

All of them had to do with communication problems in the relationship. I value communication, the other doesn't seem to as much. Maybe it's because I've only dated Sensors. It's.. frustrating, to say the least.
 

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I think she means something along the lines of heart-broken to the point of depression
No... I get 'existential depression' when I see too many problems with no solutions, and realize how insignificant everything is ultimately, and have for as long as I can remember.

I see break ups as opportunities. Sometimes both parties just outgrow a relationship. Feels natural...

I want my exes to be happy and get what they need. If it's not with me, then it isn't. I realize I'm not the easiest person to take.
 

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  1. When you break up with people (whichever way that goes), what do the remnants look like? I can't ever contact them again or i don't let it go. I have no exes who i'm friends with. It just doesn't happen that way...
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  2. Are you left in tact, are your ex-partners? (In tact, as in emotionally. Some people react to breakups in extreme ways and lose it or disconnect emotionally for a long time afterwards, for example. Others may comment that the integrity of who they are has been displaced in a fairly substantial way.) I can function but i obsess and over analyze what went wrong for weeks or maybe months after. My friends get so annoyed hearing about. Consequently, I'm slightly emotionally damaged. I have no idea how my exes have handled it as i don't talk to them.
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  3. How long before you get into your next relationship? It has varied from a couple months to a year but right now i have vowed to take a hiatus of at least a year to figure out my shit and what not
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  4. Is your next choice likely to be much like your last, or substantially different? I have this weird thing for nerdy assholes but i hope to change that pattern. I plan on changing my preferences for the sake of my self esteem.
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  5. Are you perceived as a heart breaker? Not by everyone i've done my heartbreaking but i've gotten my heart broken.
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  6. Do you notice any perculiar patterns in your relationship break-ups? I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt and second guess my decisions and this has often led to my heart being broken. I recently discovered that i have issues with letting go and putting up with may more bad behavior then i should. Daddy issues i guess
 

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No... I get 'existential depression' when I see too many problems with no solutions, and realize how insignificant everything is ultimately, and have for as long as I can remember.

I see break ups as opportunities. Sometimes both parties just outgrow a relationship. Feels natural...

I want my exes to be happy and get what they need. If it's not with me, then it isn't. I realize I'm not the easiest person to take.
Sadness :(
 

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1. Um.... In a word? ugly.

2. I was pretty much like 'oh, is it tuesday already?' ... unphased. I was hurt because in both cases my trust was betrayed in one way or another and I was simply unhappy... but I wasn't broken up about the break-up.

3. First time? I had a 2 year break. Second time? I'm still on break.
5 month relationship, and 7 month relationship respectively.

4. Substantially different. I'm looking for 'the one' or someone close enough. Because I don't see the point in dating or being in a relationship simply for the fun of it... that's what 'friends with benefits' are for... or something like that.

5. Yes. But I can only assume it's because I joke around a lot and I don't really take romantic advances seriously -- some guys would say I lead them on, but I never flirt back unless I'm interested in the person who's flirted with me...

6. Yes? I've been in lopsided relationships so...there's that to begin with. And my thing is that I get 'bored'. I got tired of their idiosyncrasies and hang-ups ... they were just bad relationships and I wanted out.
 
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