[ZHKND]

HELLO.

I AM AN "INTP".

I HAVE A DOUBT:

HOW ARE RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN "ISFPs" AND "INTPs"?

IF ANY "ISFP" HERE HAS BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH AN "INTP" I WOULD LIKE THEM TO DESCRIBE THE RELATIONSHIP "IN GENERAL", IF YOU WANT TO ADD "DETAILS", ADD THEM.

:dry:

 

[Leeoflittlefaith]

Romantic or platonic? I have an INTP best friend.

:dry:

 

[ZHKND]

Romantic or platonic? I have an INTP best friend.

:dry:

A RELATIONSHIP OF ANY KIND.

DO YOU WANT ME TO DIRECT YOU TO A DICTIONARY?

:dry:

 

[Leeoflittlefaith]

A RELATIONSHIP OF ANY KIND.

DO YOU WANT ME TO DIRECT YOU TO A DICTIONARY?

:dry:

I do apologise. 'Relationship' in many contexts carries the connotation of 'romantic relationship'.

My 8-year relationship with my INTP friend has not been without problems, but overall it has been very rewarding. Over the years I have had trouble with his (apparent, not actual) lack of empathy, the way he can take apart my arguements about things I like, his lack of punctuality (he hates mobile phones), and his pessimism. I'm also regularly jealous of how he can speak his mind about things which leads to a bit of an inferiority complex- I've speculated about whether he reciprocates this sentiment but I can't really tell to be honest and I won't ask him.

However, he has also shown to be an extremely good listener and gives very reasonable advice that shows how well we relate as Percievers. We share a wacky, random sense of humor. He is smart and passionate about his fields which I admire. He is also much more laid-back about things compared to my J friends which means he's fun to be around. Even though his passions for philosophy, science and martial arts don't really overlap with mine for literature and music, sometimes I dabble in his debates, sometimes he dabbles in my music, leading to better understanding of these things. We both love animé and video games, but prefer completely different genres- again, we swap and learn to appreciate. Overall, he's taught me a lot, and maybe I've taught him, I don't know, he doesn't give away a lot.

Er-hem.

:dry:

 

[ZHKND]

I do apologise. 'Relationship' in many contexts carries the connotation of 'romantic relationship'.

My 8-year relationship with my INTP friend has not been without problems, but overall it has been very rewarding. Over the years I have had trouble with his (apparent, not actual) lack of empathy, the way he can take apart my arguements about things I like, his lack of punctuality (he hates mobile phones), and his pessimism. I'm also regularly jealous of how he can speak his mind about things which leads to a bit of an inferiority complex- I've speculated about whether he reciprocates this sentiment but I can't really tell to be honest and I won't ask him.

However, he has also shown to be an extremely good listener and gives very reasonable advice that shows how well we relate as Percievers. We share a wacky, random sense of humor. He is smart and passionate about his fields which I admire. He is also much more laid-back about things compared to my J friends which means he's fun to be around. Even though his passions for philosophy, science and martial arts don't really overlap with mine for literature and music, sometimes I dabble in his debates, sometimes he dabbles in my music, leading to better understanding of these things. We both love animé and video games, but prefer completely different genres- again, we swap and learn to appreciate. Overall, he's taught me a lot, and maybe I've taught him, I don't know, he doesn't give away a lot.

Er-hem.

:dry:

I SEE.

THAT IS SLIGHTLY ELUCIDATING.

I APPRECIATE THAT YOU INVESTED WILLPOWER IN TYPING THAT.

I THOUGHT THAT YOU FELT "REPELLED" BY MY RESPONSE TO YOUR REPLY TO MY POST.

:dry:

 

[Leeoflittlefaith]

Not at all.

And fear not.

I am well used to the favoured INTP first impression, which is usually to be a bit of an arse.

:happy:

 

[colysan]

I'm an INTP who is in a romantic relationship with an ISFP

I will describe the point of view from my ISFP, since you only asked for that . If you want information from my point of view please don't hesitate. I will also include some general impressions of my Ti of the relationship.

So for the ISFP it is very difficult to make sense of Ti rambling. They like spontaneity, nature, "out-of-the-aspect-discussions". The like being playful.
Most times she finds my pure Ti logic cute and has a lot of fun driving me up the walls when taking apart my Ti or making it seem powerless.
She had to learn not to take it too far when I'm emotional - the resulting Fe explosions from the INTPs are not nice (and more often than not: kept inside).
It is stunning how much development takes place for the INTP when he really makes an effort to improve in his weak areas. The ISFP always pushes the INTP for personal development.
Communication is difficult. The INTP has to learn to communicate his needs and his feelings more effectively.
The ISFP needs to learn to communicate at all and to keep her partner's needs in mind when under stress.

Too lazy to write more Ask more direct questions

 

[Type B]

I have been married to my INTP husband for 10 years now, and we've known one another longer than that. Still going strong. We are committed to one another and to our marriage. Our communication is great. sometimes we say what the other is thinking. Sometimes we just know what the other needs or wants. I don't know why that is, but I'm thankful for that.

 

[davisk]

I never understand you guys... thinking hurts. XD

For some reason, lonely INTPs are usually very drawn to me. I'm almost always *intrigued* by them in response, but I find them especially difficult to understand/ spend time with/ spill my brain to. Usually once the growing-out-of-loneliness process is over, the relationship is all withered and both of us are exhausted. That said, I think this pair could be miraculous if both types are healthy communicators.

Have you seen this thread? http://personalitycafe.com/isfp-forum-artists/2960-isfp-intp.html

 

[Type B]

I never understand you guys... thinking hurts. XD

For some reason, lonely INTPs are usually very drawn to me. I'm almost always *intrigued* by them in response, but I find them especially difficult to understand/ spend time with/ spill my brain to. Usually once the growing-out-of-loneliness process is over, the relationship is all withered and both of us are exhausted. That said, I think this pair could be miraculous if both types are healthy communicators.

Have you seen this thread? http://personalitycafe.com/isfp-forum-artists/2960-isfp-intp.html

I think you hit the nail on the head with "healthy communicators". You cannot have a relationship if there is an absence meaningful communication.

Both of us have had difficulty really spilling our guts at time. For me, it's because the feelings and emotions are hard to get out. For my husband, it's just because of his quiet nature, or because he didn't feel like it, or just didn't get around to it.... I have come to realize that we both keep a lot within.

But we know when we have to get talking. We know when we have to get to the bottom of something together and work through a problem. Turning inward only works for a short time before one of us forces the issue. We have an unspoken understanding that when something has to be dealt with, however unpleasant, we are going to deal with it when the time arises, and we will not give up until we meet in the middle and get through the issue together.

You know what else helps too? Life. INTP's are not great at Fe, but I have found that, personality and dominant functions aside, you get any individual who has "been there", and they will understand where you're coming from. When it comes to serious situations in life, my husband can relate. Sometimes better than I can. He's been through a lot, and he can be extremely patient, and understanding and helpful. He can pick up on the feelings of others more often than not. He doesn't need to have his emotions swayed in order to do that either. This is something I admire about him a great deal.

 

[Stephen]

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:happy:

You two are sweet.

 

[The Proof]

I had a short one with this hot isfp chick, it was brilliant, we totally clicked, she loved my brains and I loved her sweetness

we only broke up cuz she was always away and I was really busy and we could only see each other like twice a week, sometimes not at all, which is nowhere near enough, I think she's with this guy from her hometown now, which is good cuz they go away together on weekends to the same place

notes: ISFPs need more phone calls, attention etc. than INTPs tipically give, otherwise great relationship