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Which are you?

  • opinion-stater

    Votes: 20 24.4%
  • conflict-avoider

    Votes: 19 23.2%
  • in the middle

    Votes: 36 43.9%
  • other/unsure

    Votes: 7 8.5%

  • Total voters
    82
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Discussion Starter #1
One thing I've noticed is that there seems to be something of a split between INTPs regarding these two factors. I don't think we're fundamentally argumentative in general, but there are definitely some of us who display the "I'm going to say what I believe, and if you disagree that's okay" attitude more often than others. I'm of the other group, placing more value on politeness as a way of avoiding conflict at nearly all costs. I also find that I don't have too many strong opinions--I can see both sides of many matters. Maybe it's that I'm more on the feeling side than some of you, but I think it's also a logical response. I've seen conflict avoidance in at least one INTP type profile, so I can't be the only one.

Have you all seen this pattern, too? Where do you fall?
 

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If someone asks me for my opinion, I will usually give a very straightforward and honest answer. However, Irarely voice my opinions unless I am asked directly; I don't feel compelled to express my points of view to people without some sort of provocation. That would disqualify me from being "outspoken." Yet, I don't consider myself "tactful" either; politeness in my case is usually just sheer indifference.

While I prefer blunt honesty, I think tact has lots of practical value. The expression of honest viewpoints can have extremely negative real-world consequences. For instance, would you risk being fired from a job because you said something that really irked a boss or co-worker?
 

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Had to say in the middle, but it isn't as quite straightforward as that.

Where it comes to peoples feelings, personal problems etc, I keep my counsel most times as I know that I won't know what I'm talking about.

If it comes to my own morals, values, beliefs, work ethics and procedures, you betcha, they can hear me from way off.:laughing: I am polite, most times, something that was instilled in me from a young age.:happy:
 
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I'm in the middle as well. Generally speaking I will share my opinions, especially if it is concerning something I consider important (then I will almost always speak up), however, I will do so in the most polite manner possible. If I have to choose between politeness/tact and sharing my opinion though I'll generally share; however, the two aren't mutually exclusive most of the time, at least that's what I've found.

There are exceptions of course, such as when speaking up is really a pragmatically bad decision (such as if one is trying to accomplish a very important objective, or when the matter on which I have an opinion isn't worth tearing things apart with conflict over), or when speaking at all is inappropriate.
 

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I'd say 70% of the time I'm outspoken, and tactful the rest of the time.
Like, people at work always ask me if I like my job. I always tell them the truth: no, I don't like my job, and knew I didn't like it from day one. I'm not going to lie and say I like my job.
 

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I tend to avoid conflict because I really don't care too much for opinions. if there's a fact that needs stating I'll state it. Otherwise opinions are just a load of hot air and I'll usually just say 'yea I see what you mean' to an opinion rather than contend it.
 

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I'm a bit of both. I'm very diplomatic when it comes to general day to day stuff. I try to be tactful and often end up being the peacemaker among friends & colleagues.

However, when it comes to more abstract stuff (say politics, philosophy, etc), I'm very vocal with my opinions (even when they're unpopular) and enjoy a good debate.
 

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One becomes the other as I'm speaking, so if I start out with an outspoken statement, it is quickly corrected once another perspective is seen and transforms into something tactful or a simple opinion or an observation. I give my perspective most of the time, if I see that no one else seems to have considered it.

"Well, the lion could have felt hungry if - no, wait, seeing as it was fed an hour ago maybe - but what if it didn't - okay, I see what you're saying. But, technically..."
 

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Tact? As if! Sure, I'll keep quiet when it's the right time to keep quiet, but I'll always end up offending somebody. If you ask for my opinion, you'll GET my opinion.

If I decided not to say it in the first place, you probably didn't want to hear it.
:frustrating:
 

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^ I noticed that too :laughing: (and I picked it :p)

I'm in the middle, because it depends on who I'm with, how they know me (chameleon-thing), the situation, the time of day, how I'm feeling, the topic at hand, yada yada yada...

If someone asks my opinion, or I feel really strongly about something, or I just feel like debating for the sake of being argumentative, yes I can get pretty outspoken. But I try to remain tactful (only cuz the trait was beaten into me for years) but also because I don't really care what other people think, whether they're wrong or not, so I mostly just keep my mouth shut and my thoughts to myself.

Plus, no one ever listens to me anyway -_-;
 

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It depends on my relationship to the person, attitude, feeling, energy level, time to explain, opportunity to discuss, consequence of my opinions, context of the situation, knowledge of the topic, obstruction of the area, and so on.

I really enjoy listening to people and learning, but if I don't agree with them, I may tell them, if the subject is important enough. I don't avoid conflict, unless it seems unnecessary or counterproductive.
 

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That's an interresting question, but I can't see the "middle" between "opinion-stater" and "conflict-avoider".

If you're assertive you can be both.
If you're a sarcastic opinion-breaker you can be neither.

Tipically I can easily imagine an INTP not being outspoken nor tactful.
 

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Conflict-avoider is my SAD-imposed front. My true nature is a scathingly sarcastic, debate-loving witch.
 
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It depends on the subject and my knowledge of it. Sometimes I'll keep quiet because I'm still thinking it over and trying to form an opinion, or I'll state my opinion but try to word it so as to not start some sort of conflict. Or if I'm feeling in a really crappy mood I'll say something blunt to see what their reaction is.
 

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I appreciate people who can discuss issues with a certain amount of tact, especially sensitive issues like religion or politics, and I try to cultivate the same habits in myself. Being right isn't always the most important thing, and the truth - as you see it - doesn't always need to be voiced.
 
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