that is exactly what my intp daughter does. drives this infp mother crazy, cuz i just want to help... i try to give her space... she ends up figuring it out for herself. she's a smart kid, with an infp mother, she can't help but glean some of my wisdom.:wink:Mine is to go silent, retreat, hide, ignore everyone and put up walls.
It's not very effective :dry:
Yep, that's what I struggle with, finding the 'right' person to talk to. Mostly I can sort things out myself, in my round-about, probably over-complicated way. But there are some times when it becomes clear that I need another person's insight or support to get any further. When I do eventually ask for help - which for me takes a massive internal battle - I get blank looks and misunderstandings, which only leads me to become more confused and less likely to ask for help again! (then I hit the sauce:winkthat person is really hard to find.
I do have a friend who is a good listener, and it's very easy for me to open up to her. But talking to most people only makes me feel worse. Most people don't know how to listen. They'll feel like they need to solve (solutions I've already considered), or point out where I screwed up (thanks, that doesn't help me now!), or just do other things which are unhelpful.Yep, that's what I struggle with, finding the 'right' person to talk to. Mostly I can sort things out myself, in my round-about, probably over-complicated way. But there are some times when it becomes clear that I need another person's insight or support to get any further. When I do eventually ask for help - which for me takes a massive internal battle - I get blank looks and misunderstandings, which only leads me to become more confused and less likely to ask for help again!
Fairydust - does this work in all cases? Sorry, I'm not meaning to be an a$$hole, I'm genuinely curious. I find sometimes I'm mentally begging someone to notice and ask, even though I can't make myself bring it up with them. Eventually, I do work it all out for myself but at the time I feel lost and unloved, left to sort things out for myself. Of course, I do realise later and more rationally, that not giving anyone any kind of signal at all makes it virtually impossible for anyone to notice in the first place!
Mid-struggle, my mind is screaming "Why doesn't anyone care?! I help everyone, no one helps me!" (cue violin music :dry. It's only later, when I have sorted myself out that another mental voice says "er, because no one knew, you doofus".
no, unfortuantely it does not always work. i've heard my daughter say all the things you are saying. (sometimes the people she wants to "notice" and "ask" are not the ones who do) what i find is not so much that my daughter does not give me any signals... the signals are there, i've just learned that approaching her irritates and annoys her, she can bite pretty hard. recently (thanks to antidepressants) she has been more approachable and more willing to approach. she's learning an inner confidence and accepting who she is and how she 'ticks'.
you need to remember that you are in the minority. an INTP is rare, a gem, a jewel, like a black pearl... rather than beat yourself up for "not giving any signals" find yourself a "emotionally solid" INFP to help you sort things out and figure out what you are feeling and how to deal with it. my daughter and i have wonderful conversations when she is ready... but she has to feel completely safe. not to mention a good night's sleep and a full belly work wonders for the emotional stuggles we face.
you'll make it, i believe in you. sometimes it's just hard...
Pretty much the same, however lately I've been trying out the whole talk-to-a-friend thing. :tongue: Which is extremely difficult but rewarding.Hello
Other INTPs - if you are struggling with something, what form does your 'cry for help' take?
Mine is to go silent, retreat, hide, ignore everyone and put up walls.
It's not very effective :dry:
One more agreeing with this statement. Opening up to other people about my feelings is extremely difficult for me and something I have felt comfortable doing with maybe one or two people. I think it is because dealing with and articulating my feelings is difficult, as it probably is for lots of other NTs, and it's even more difficult to find someone else who understands what I am trying to convey.I will try to look for someone to enlighten me. When I have the issue discussed within myself only, I could find the solution very well. However, I may need a person who would tell me those answers for I sometimes do not trust much on the thoughts and ideas I had conceived. I may seek reassurance from the other person. Sometimes, it's good to be dependent on other. That's what I've discovered few days before.
But of course, that person is really hard to find.