[qingdom]

So, assuming most INTP's here has an issue with convo killing or avoiding small talk or potential conversations only to be limited by not knowing how to continue or making moot points leaving no room for additional discussion, question becomes 'how to fix that'?

Most INTP's would start by analyzing MBTI type of person in the current atmosphere / environment, then go by finding common interest to carry on topics. If topics are 'uncharted territory' for INTP, depending on INTP's interest, may want to find out more or may attempt to sway and end/switch topics.

I'm not attempting to identify typing here, but I'm seeking some generalized topics as 'fallback plans' for initializing / maintaining conversations with other types just in case 'common interests' areas are exhausted.

So for example, if talking sports with a person who doesn't play sports, conversation dies shortly. If talking about cars and the other person does not know inner workings, conversation dies shortly. If talking about programming and other person knows nothing about coding, conversation dies shortly. etc etc.

So for example with the 'typical' xNxx, when attempting to carry on conversations, general list of topics to sci-fi, design, theory, systems, analytics, fantasy, games, and the likes. The breakdown will come with asking the right category and dive from there.

So for example with the 'typical' xSFx, when attempting to carry on conversations, general list of topics to chick flicks, romance novels, rom-com's, soaps, fashion, and the likes. The breakdown will come with asking the right category and dive from there.

Although topic jumping may show insincerity to attention span, however, it beats having periods of awkward silence until either party speaks up again.

Any ideas, suggestions, or conversation models for easy referencing?

 

[NeedsNewNameNow]

Yes, I have noticed I had tendency to give too much information at once, and it leads to the 'what else is there to say'? Now Sometimes I hold back some of it for followup, or put out a tantalizing bit to cause the person to ask a follow-up

 

[Rift]

when in doubt... become a troll.

 

[qingdom]

when in doubt... become a troll.

I happen to like maintaining maturity and self-composure... but if I was in another city without anyone recognizing my face, sure.. I'll chameleon into being an assface.

Attempting to keep up with conversations is tiring work... it's like giving lectures... except... primarily focused on the party in front of you rather than a group of people... groups are worse... must maintain eyecontact, must not fidget, must not have knee shake habit, etc. all those little nuances adds up depending on target.

 

[Rift]

I happen to like maintaining maturity and self-composure... but if I was in another city without anyone recognizing my face, sure.. I'll chameleon into being an assface.

Attempting to keep up with conversations is tiring work... it's like giving lectures... except... primarily focused on the party in front of you rather than a group of people... groups are worse... must maintain eyecontact, must not fidget, must not have knee shake habit, etc. all those little nuances adds up depending on target.

Well if you're unfamiliar with the topic... then gravitate over to a subject you are familiar with and use it to illustrate a connecting thread. You don't have to do it quite so literally but I find being well acquainted with slash gives me a suitable background to discuss the bromance involved in major league sports. It also helps with subjects involving the troops, romance novels, soaps, car talk, politics... actually it's pretty much relative to everything.

I could cite the more controversial aspects and make them uncomfortable enough to change the topics themselves... or if they're interested then the gonzo nature of it should take the subject matter into another realm of thought... although we could just shift the paradigm and leave all the basic pieces there and I could rough out some kind of understanding... or I could just tune them out while occasionally nodding, thinking about the revival of miss saigon or the coming zombie apocalypse while they discuss the youth in asia.

Most people are really just talking of their derrière... so often times they don't even notice.

And then there's those others that only engage small talk to bolster their ego... which often times one can shortchange by giving them a lapdance.

 

[Draco]

Yes, I have noticed I had tendency to give too much information at once, and it leads to the 'what else is there to say'? Now Sometimes I hold back some of it for followup, or put out a tantalizing bit to cause the person to ask a follow-up

Same here.

I don't really go by MBTI-type though, just what my intuition (and maybe Si) tell me a person would/could be interested in.

But . . small-talk in general is lost on me, when one or more people are into it I can go with their flow, but one on one or when I have to initiate it, . . it's a disaster.
Thank God small-talk is not a school-subject, I'd never have passed.

 

[jeffbobs]

I happen to like maintaining maturity and self-composure... but if I was in another city without anyone recognizing my face, sure.. I'll chameleon into being an assface.

Attempting to keep up with conversations is tiring work... it's like giving lectures... except... primarily focused on the party in front of you rather than a group of people... groups are worse... must maintain eyecontact, must not fidget, must not have knee shake habit, etc. all those little nuances adds up depending on target.

I dont have any of my stuff here right now to give you good examples, But asking questions is the best bet,

I have had soo many conversations that have involved me just listening and asking questions, and have ended with i had a really nice chat with so and so.

the way people speak allows you to know what their interests are, they will mention details that don't need to be said, but they do, sometimes this is refered to anchoring, they want you to ask about it, which works even better.

so really listening to people and asking them questions about their own interests gives them the feeling u are a good talker/listener, and also helps you out when u will talk to others because u have learnt about a subject you didn't previously

 

[Doctor von Science]

I have found that "So do you know your MBTI personality type? Just curious," is not the best conversation starter and is in fact considered rude by some people.

Just my little contribution. I'm not good at all this conversatin' stuff.

 

[Playful Proxy]

Wait, so everyone doesn't care about psychology, programming, philosophical debates, and how one would rule the world?

 

[billymark]

I play by the old improv rule of "yes, and?" but fill the last part with a question, even if you don't care what they say or have not been listening.

 

[okaydrifter]

i am not an intp but i also have no idea how to maintain conversations (when i'm with someone where we just don't 'click')

i just don't know what to say.
i usually fall back on asking them questions, or if they're extroverts (thank god) just letting them kindof lead the convo.
me in a conversation with another shy, hesitant person is basically just the worst.

 

[thedoctorlies]

If the conversation go's dead what is the point of trying to prolong misery? I don't enjoy small talk for more than a few moments and even then I'm just being polite or softening my bluntness and my need to get to the point of whatever the reason for me to speak to the individual. If the conversation is not mutually stimulating for both parties then put to rest and move on. I try not to put myself in situations where I feel obligated to carry on a boring and uncomfortable conversation, it's just too draining and I hate the awkwardness I feel in those situations. I hate to appear rude or aloof but it's just not worth it to me anymore to make the effort.