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Question for the crowd. This applies to both men and women.
INTP's are solitary creatures. Regardless if we're living by ourselves, parents, and/or roommates, we usually purchase items that meets our individual needs.
Quite often, I do not think on behalf of other people when picking up items only I expect for myself. This includes food, snacks, drinks, laundry detergent, soap, shampoo/conditioner, Deo, and the list goes on.
Although, if I am a guest at someones' house for say a vacation or a visit, I bring something to share as a gesture. This could be wine, liquor, beer, tray of hors d'oeuvres, chips, etc. If I don't, I often get chastised for thinking only for myself and not sharing. Even worse is showing up empty handed when visiting.
Which is fine. Most often, I feel that it's not my responsibility to do so because I do not have 'friends' or family/relatives over. However, when my favorite or personal stash of foods and drinks goes missing and not replenished, I get this hidden rage and either 1) flip out at people or 2) remain silent at everyone I think is involved.
I often get looked at as cold and unrecieving of items like food because I feel that I am leeching even when offered items when I should be accepting but not. And if I do accept, I try to compensate for troubles and gratitude. However, not the same vice versa... I can be as giving and kind, but the reciprocation is only marginal coming back to me.
Not expecting a return of something physical, but true appreciation and gratitude over the false mask of mere words would suffice, but irks the shit out of me when that too is not sincere. Such that I recognize down to the core that such person(s) is a shitty leeching turdnugget that I have to accept the fact of knowing / being of acquaintance with.
So where am I going with this? Not sure on that but I want to get a consensus from the group how they feel of sharing their stuffs.
Because in a 'relationship', where and how does one draw the line of what's 'mine' is now 'ours'? Because it's no longer thinking for one, but two. Going further, if the relationship ends up being a family, it's no longer thinking of two, it's thinking of two-point-five and then three; maybe up to 'x'. For the sake of argument, I'm fine if my SO goes 'what's mine is mine. what's yours is also mine' as long as said SO is vigilant of her actions and consequences. i.e. looks out for the best of both of us, as I would do the same vice versa. I believe this common understanding would work best from the get-go. But what do I know. I've never been in a relationship, so this to me could all be wishful thinking.
However, how the system in my mind works, I only operate by thinking of gathering resources for me for a set duration amount of time. I'm fine with sharing as long as the things I'm sharing doesn't deplete faster than half the time it takes for me to deplete them. The math just isn't there to maintain a stable existence for long for any of us at that rate. Applies to finances, economics, and time.
Thoughts? Comments?
INTP's are solitary creatures. Regardless if we're living by ourselves, parents, and/or roommates, we usually purchase items that meets our individual needs.
Quite often, I do not think on behalf of other people when picking up items only I expect for myself. This includes food, snacks, drinks, laundry detergent, soap, shampoo/conditioner, Deo, and the list goes on.
Although, if I am a guest at someones' house for say a vacation or a visit, I bring something to share as a gesture. This could be wine, liquor, beer, tray of hors d'oeuvres, chips, etc. If I don't, I often get chastised for thinking only for myself and not sharing. Even worse is showing up empty handed when visiting.
Which is fine. Most often, I feel that it's not my responsibility to do so because I do not have 'friends' or family/relatives over. However, when my favorite or personal stash of foods and drinks goes missing and not replenished, I get this hidden rage and either 1) flip out at people or 2) remain silent at everyone I think is involved.
I often get looked at as cold and unrecieving of items like food because I feel that I am leeching even when offered items when I should be accepting but not. And if I do accept, I try to compensate for troubles and gratitude. However, not the same vice versa... I can be as giving and kind, but the reciprocation is only marginal coming back to me.
Not expecting a return of something physical, but true appreciation and gratitude over the false mask of mere words would suffice, but irks the shit out of me when that too is not sincere. Such that I recognize down to the core that such person(s) is a shitty leeching turdnugget that I have to accept the fact of knowing / being of acquaintance with.
So where am I going with this? Not sure on that but I want to get a consensus from the group how they feel of sharing their stuffs.
Because in a 'relationship', where and how does one draw the line of what's 'mine' is now 'ours'? Because it's no longer thinking for one, but two. Going further, if the relationship ends up being a family, it's no longer thinking of two, it's thinking of two-point-five and then three; maybe up to 'x'. For the sake of argument, I'm fine if my SO goes 'what's mine is mine. what's yours is also mine' as long as said SO is vigilant of her actions and consequences. i.e. looks out for the best of both of us, as I would do the same vice versa. I believe this common understanding would work best from the get-go. But what do I know. I've never been in a relationship, so this to me could all be wishful thinking.
However, how the system in my mind works, I only operate by thinking of gathering resources for me for a set duration amount of time. I'm fine with sharing as long as the things I'm sharing doesn't deplete faster than half the time it takes for me to deplete them. The math just isn't there to maintain a stable existence for long for any of us at that rate. Applies to finances, economics, and time.
Thoughts? Comments?
