[qingdom]

Here's a thought and puzzle for you INTP's...

Small talk is dreadful. Being around a crush or person of interest leaves quite a few of us anxious, nervous, sky, or whatever.

So what can one do while mute / speechless to welcome the person into our world / our minds / our desires?

Musical instruments, cooking, baking, painting are the immediate things that comes to my mind. Where at a loss for words, actions speak louder.

Then there's juggling, spinning discs, activities that requires absolute concentration... but in a spur of the moment scenario, no one is going to wait for said INTP to 'set everything up' before getting to said trick / talent.

Quite often I wonder how deaf and mute people deal with the world. They have their own hand language and their own little community. They fear pairing up with 'normal' people who can do all these things they can't but yet, they still cope with living. Which makes INTP's not so different from them.

Not to say INTP's are handicapped nor deaf/mute people are at a disadvantage, but where words fail, something like a hobby that one is passionate about can be used to welcome the right one in.

Thoughts?

 

[Bazinga187]

How about interpretive dance?

 

[qingdom]

I've always wanted to learn salsa, tango, swing, etc... never got around to it.. think i'll look into classes this summer.... that's if there's time... guh.

 

[BUtheBabyUnicorn]

Small talk is dreadful. Being around a crush or person of interest leaves quite a few of us anxious, nervous, sky, or whatever.

WHICH ONES OF US BECOME THE SKY? That would be so cool! Teach me how!

...On another note, friend them on facebook! FB chat the heck out of them! If it doesn't work, oh well!
If that doesn't work for you, you could go sing them a song in the light of the moon outside of their window! They'll either think that you're incredibly awesome or incredibly creepy!
You could draw them a picture, and send them it!
Make up a secret handshake!

...I feel like my personality has changed since I went on spring break. I'm so... Outgoing, almost.

 

[QuietStorm]

I get the feeling that this question already assumes that there is some kind of relationship already in existence.... I know I've never had the occasion to dance with a crush of mine...

What I do, though, is listen to him talk. If he looks at me, I look at him. If he smiles, I smile back. And sometimes, if I know he's looking at me, I deliberately don't look back - just in case I'm not supposed to know he's looking at me .... you have to play these things carefully. Mirroring and all that stuff...

That alone (^) should tell you ... If I have a crush on someone, I avoid him. Because I always make a fool of myself. My voice gets louder (I'm naturally soft-spoken), I become this obnoxious clown who laughs at everything and makes a joke about everything (not in the funny way... in the 'force a laugh because this is getting awkward-way) ... etc etc. I just feel like I'm having an out of body experience, watching myself become 'the ditzy chick'......






PS. If you know anyone teaching sign language, I'm more than willing to learn - I may have better luck ><

 

[qingdom]

PS. If you know anyone teaching sign language, I'm more than willing to learn - I may have better luck ><

Youtube > Signing Times?

Also, sign language differs from country to country. I'm assuming you're in the US or Canada?

 

[QuietStorm]

Youtube > Signing Times?

Also, sign language differs from country to country. I'm assuming you're in the US or Canada?

US, yea. I'd learn it for all the countries - but, you know... the two real friends I have might miss me while I'm 'gone'.

 

[BUtheBabyUnicorn]

What I do, though, is listen to him talk. If he looks at me, I look at him. If he smiles, I smile back. And sometimes, if I know he's looking at me, I deliberately don't look back - just in case I'm not supposed to know he's looking at me .... you have to play these things carefully. Mirroring and all that stuff...

That alone (^) should tell you ... If I have a crush on someone, I avoid him. Because I always make a fool of myself. My voice gets louder (I'm naturally soft-spoken), I become this obnoxious clown who laughs at everything and makes a joke about everything (not in the funny way... in the 'force a laugh because this is getting awkward-way) ... etc etc. I just feel like I'm having an out of body experience, watching myself become 'the ditzy chick'......

I had a crush on this kid in 6th grade (I still have a crush on him, but I'm pretty sure I was partially high for most of 6th grade on some sort of hormone...he's an ENFP (he apparently took the test himself) and he's really cute and half the grade's girls like him so it's kind of annoying when they throw themselves at him ughhhh...), and I couldn't be around him without laughing, or being obnoxiously loud. I think I basically fed my Ne during that time, now I'm much more outgoing and humorous (I hope) than I was back then. I actually gained some of his habits and mannerisms, which was kind of weird, considering most of them were little spasms and stuff like that.

 

[QuietStorm]

I had a crush on this kid in 6th grade (I still have a crush on him, but I'm pretty sure I was partially high for most of 6th grade on some sort of hormone...he's an ENFP (he apparently took the test himself) and he's really cute and half the grade's girls like him so it's kind of annoying when they throw themselves at him ughhhh...), and I couldn't be around him without laughing, or being obnoxiously loud. I think I basically fed my Ne during that time, now I'm much more outgoing and humorous (I hope) than I was back then. I actually gained some of his habits and mannerisms, which was kind of weird, considering most of them were little spasms and stuff like that.

I have a crush on an ENFP too O_O
And I've started doing this thing he does... he puts his fingers to his lip (what he actually does is bite his nails but I can't do that... not programmed that way), and this cute half smile-half smirk that he always does ... every time I do it I think about him *shrug*. But yea... he had girls running after him all the time too...still does. I've just gotten tired of being 'one of those girls'.... it's annoying.

 

[BUtheBabyUnicorn]

I have a crush on an ENFP too O_O
And I've started doing this thing he does... he puts his fingers to his lip (what he actually does is bite his nails but I can't do that... not programmed that way), and this cute half smile-half smirk that he always does ... every time I do it I think about him *shrug*. But yea... he had girls running after him all the time too...still does. I've just gotten tired of being 'one of those girls'.... it's annoying.

I wonder how many INTP girls like ENFP guys.
It's weird, my mannerisms have become somewhat like his, although he doesn't spazz anymore. I still do, though. Aghhh...
I guess ENFP guys are just... Popular. Overly so.
The ENFP I know bites his nails as well... I believe you said that you live in the US? West coast, midwest, or east coast? It would be really weird if you went to my school, and we were talking about the same person. Actually, that would be awesome, unless you're my absusive INTP friend, who also happens to like the same guy as me. Then that would be... Awkward.
I'm rarely around him, but it got me the label as being "one of those girls," because somehow everyone that I know knows that I like him. :dry:

 

[onebelo]

Then there's juggling, spinning discs, activities that requires absolute concentration... but in a spur of the moment scenario, no one is going to wait for said INTP to 'set everything up' before getting to said trick / talent.

im trying to picture an intp so awkward in conversation so they decide to start juggling.....

 

[QuietStorm]

I wonder how many INTP girls like ENFP guys.
It's weird, my mannerisms have become somewhat like his, although he doesn't spazz anymore. I still do, though. Aghhh...
I guess ENFP guys are just... Popular. Overly so.
The ENFP I know bites his nails as well... I believe you said that you live in the US? West coast, midwest, or east coast? It would be really weird if you went to my school, and we were talking about the same person. Actually, that would be awesome, unless you're my absusive INTP friend, who also happens to like the same guy as me. Then that would be... Awkward.
I'm rarely around him, but it got me the label as being "one of those girls," because somehow everyone that I know knows that I like him. :dry:

Haha, nope. I grew up in Jamaica, that's where I met him, that's where he lives still. But that's an amazingly good question. ><
I think the fact that ENFPs tend to be more emotionally open and affectionate, we're drawn to them because we're not naturally that way? Or at least... I know I'm not. Btw, my ENTP and I tend to like the same guys as well...

And I did get labelled as 'one of those girls' .... I kept trying to explain -- I'm not that kind of girl, I wouldn't sleep with him, I just want to get to know him! Like... I have the urge to be the person he goes to when he's struggling or when he's upset... I don't care so much about whether or not he's in love with me... I like the way he treats me without knowing how he feels about me (except for when he doesn't talk to me or flirts with girls in front of me)....

 

[Cover3]

im trying to picture an intp so awkward in conversation so they decide to start juggling.....

Put away my family photo album will ya?... -_-

 

[QuietStorm]

im trying to picture an intp so awkward in conversation so they decide to start juggling.....

..... I did that on stage a few weeks ago at an open mic event when the sound wouldn't work ..... it really does happen.
*To be fair though... they were imaginary pins/daggers....

 

[BUtheBabyUnicorn]

Haha, nope. I grew up in Jamaica, that's where I met him, that's where he lives still. But that's an amazingly good question. ><
I think the fact that ENFPs tend to be more emotionally open and affectionate, we're drawn to them because we're not naturally that way? Or at least... I know I'm not. Btw, my ENTP and I tend to like the same guys as well...

And I did get labelled as 'one of those girls' .... I kept trying to explain -- I'm not that kind of girl, I wouldn't sleep with him, I just want to get to know him! Like... I have the urge to be the person he goes to when he's struggling or when he's upset... I don't care so much about whether or not he's in love with me... I like the way he treats me without knowing how he feels about me (except for when he doesn't talk to me or flirts with girls in front of me)....

Okay, I was really scared there for a second. XD
They say opposites attract. Although, in terms of S and N, you kind of have to be on the same page. An S will be steadily "reading through" and an N will be "flipping through the pages," so to speak.

I actually feel the same way. I too want to have some sort of deeper connection with him, and he's just fun to be around. He's always got something fresh and new, he's so exciting compared to my friends. I would die (or not) to just be his friend, so that I could be around him more. I'd like to be his good friend forever, someone that I could depend on and he could depend on me.
Of course, all of my friends take it as, "You just want to kiss him or something." Yeah, a kiss would be nice, but what I'm looking for is an actual connection.
I'm just not on the same page as my friends. Now they all think that I'm boy crazy and even go so far as to say that I envy the girls who throw themselves at him.

 

[Ziska]

I wonder how many INTP girls like ENFP guys.

I'm an INTP girl whose last two crushes- and by 'crush', I mean 'several-years-long embarrassing infatuation'- have been INTJs.
It's the sarcasm and the smarts, I swear.
I tend to pick an intelligent person I admire out of each of my classes and attempt to match their efforts (it's supposed to be motivational or something). Then I invariably end up with a crush. One of my friends (@PisceanReve) had an explanation for this... I think...

However, two of my very good friends are ENFPs, and both of them bite their nails too! (To be clear, that's two out of the nine people I consider 'very good friends'.)

 

[QuietStorm]

Okay, I was really scared there for a second. XD
They say opposites attract. Although, in terms of S and N, you kind of have to be on the same page. An S will be steadily "reading through" and an N will be "flipping through the pages," so to speak.

I actually feel the same way. I too want to have some sort of deeper connection with him, and he's just fun to be around. He's always got something fresh and new, he's so exciting compared to my friends. I would die (or not) to just be his friend, so that I could be around him more. I'd like to be his good friend forever, someone that I could depend on and he could depend on me.
Of course, all of my friends take it as, "You just want to kiss him or something." Yeah, a kiss would be nice, but what I'm looking for is an actual connection.
I'm just not on the same page as my friends. Now they all think that I'm boy crazy and even go so far as to say that I envy the girls who throw themselves at him.

I don't know what it is about him... my ENTP friend (closest friend for 9 years, so I tend to trust her perception of me) claims I'm hung up on him because he's the one that 'got away' ... and I think she might be right. I never expected to be in a relationship with him, but I did want to get to know him and be around him. And I mean...the benefits were pretty fun too but... *shrug* I just wanted to feel close to him. So I can completely relate and I'm glad you know what I mean ^_^

I talked to a few guys about him and they thought the same thing your friends thought about me. That I was chasing him, that I just wanted to make out with him or whatever. And I mean... that was a part of it, but that wasn't the main motivation.
I dunno. I just felt really calm around him, and that's not something a lot of people do for me. I'm usually on edge or really awkward/nervous... so I remembered that.

 

[Ordev]

I made shittons of drawings for my crush, where my interest was shown in a very unambigious way.

When we conversed in person the first few times I was very nervous, yes, but our conversation quickly took a very Ne turn (I think). We almost completely skipped over usual small talk and just flipped through all kinds of crazy random topics.

So, yeah, being able to express yourself in a non-verbal way helps, and having a crush on a person who you can easily have a smooth conversation with helps too.

 

[myexplodingcat]

I get the feeling that this question already assumes that there is some kind of relationship already in existence.... I know I've never had the occasion to dance with a crush of mine...

I did, but it was mainly me trying to "dance" to "music" that was being electronically warped and blasted so loud you couldn't tell one song from the other... and him doing the Worm. Long story.

 

[whytiger]

Here's a thought and puzzle for you INTP's...

Small talk is dreadful. Being around a crush or person of interest leaves quite a few of us anxious, nervous, sky, or whatever.

So what can one do while mute / speechless to welcome the person into our world / our minds / our desires?

Musical instruments, cooking, baking, painting are the immediate things that comes to my mind. Where at a loss for words, actions speak louder.

Then there's juggling, spinning discs, activities that requires absolute concentration... but in a spur of the moment scenario, no one is going to wait for said INTP to 'set everything up' before getting to said trick / talent.

Quite often I wonder how deaf and mute people deal with the world. They have their own hand language and their own little community. They fear pairing up with 'normal' people who can do all these things they can't but yet, they still cope with living. Which makes INTP's not so different from them.

Not to say INTP's are handicapped nor deaf/mute people are at a disadvantage, but where words fail, something like a hobby that one is passionate about can be used to welcome the right one in.

Thoughts?

Whenever I've been around a crush, I have become a blabber mouth. Something about my interest in the person creates in me the desire to talk about everything I'm thinking.