Very true - a lot of people who accuse me of not caring enough about them and their feelings actually couldn't care less about my feelings. But they expect me to act like them, because they are convinced that the way the act towards others means they actually care.Mutual understanding takes more than one person. I will try to understand if someone else is willing to understand me. Otherwise, forget about it.
This is something that has always bothered me. I have to admit I am not very good at comforting people on an emotional level, i.e. I don't join in with emotional outbursts. But I am willing to listen most of the time and I am always willing to help if something needs actual help. But still I am seen as "heartless".There are people without family living under bridges at this moment. I bet most people calling INTPs heartless drive fast past that bridge. Speak for yourself when judging feelings or values.